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33 and single forever??



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I'm in the same boat as you! I will be 33 this year, still single, not that many friends. I'm a bit reclusive and I need a lot of alone time, but really, I haven't dated in a couple years now. I've been working on myself, and now that I've got that figured out...it'd be nice to have a guy! I was also on some sites, OKCupid and Plentyoffish.com, I would either get no messages, or the ones I would get were from freaks and losers (not to be rude, but..) I've been thinking about trying Eharmony, but I tried it once before (about 10 years ago) without much luck. Seems like all guys care about is how hot you are and how fast you will sleep with them. I got so sick of it that I took myself off all the dating sites, they just made me feel bad about myself. I don't like church, I don't like bars and clubs, and I work with mostly women... I'm interested in writing so taking a writing class which starts soon, and starting back at college in the fall. Maybe I'll meet someone there. I also signed up for a few groups on Meetup.com, we'll see if I actually make it to any meetings..haha.. If I hit 40 and i'm still single, my plan is to adopt a kid on my own. I'd rather be happy and alone than be miserable with someone I "settled" for.

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I'm 36, didn't get married until i was 32. I had a couple bad relationships in college, and i didn't date in High School. My wife got lapbanded last fall and I'm getting the lapband in June. I need to lose around 90-100lbs....I'm lucky that we (my wife and I) have a great looking kid...but I understand the "will i ever get married/in relationship" question. I must also say that I've had "man-boobs" since high school and in high school i weighed 160-170....and was just 10 lbs overweight...

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I met and married the man I met on match.com. He was completely opposite of who I "thought" I would be with. He met me at one of my highest weights and loves me for me. He is one of the biggest reasons I was so successful with my band. Please don't give up! The right guy is out there and will love you for you! I was 28 when I met him and married him when I was 30. Oh, and by the way, I didn't get many "hits" on the site either. It just happened.

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To the OP, don't get discouraged. Dating is hard, especially when you're in your 30s and up. I know you said you don't get much response to your online dating and you don't post pics of yourself online....this is probably why. It's sad, I know but online dating, men want to see a picture. And the online dating sites always say the most responses have a few pictures. Try one of the secure sites (that you have to pay for like Match or EHarmony) because people on there are generally more serious about finding a relationship because it costs more to be on that site. They want to meet people.

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There is some great advice here! 33 is not the end of the line. I got married at 38. I never thought I would be a "married" person. I was going through some really bad times when I met my hubby. I was certainly not looking fora manthen. I swear the angels brought him yo me :-).

I give youcredit for asking this guy out. I know lots of guys don'trealize how they sound. He may be very literal and said " not today" but couldn't t see past today. I am pretty forward, so next time I saw him I would say - did you meannot that day, or not ever? But that's just me.

Go out there and enjoy your life. Stop loking

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And things will work out! Congrats on your weight loss and boost your Protein to help your hair. Good luck.

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I am in the same boat. I am on those sites and have mat strange men. I hope to loose weight and update my pic. I am 37and want to be married and have kids. I feel time is ticking.

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The sites like Plenty of Fish and Lavalife, you get all kinds of weirdos on them because they're free sites. Of course there are some creeps on Match and E-Harmony, but a lot of the men are more serious because of the cost to join those sites. Good luck! You will find him out there!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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