Don't you love those old motivational posters at your office...me too! Here's a few new ones to enjoy...just to inspire you to success.

Hard work often pays off after time...but laziness always pays off now.

Not everyone gets to ba an astronaut when they grow up.

When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort.

Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile. But it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

The are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inqusitive idiots.

It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.

For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.

LMAO... good lord those are down right uninspiring... where can I find them? J/K definitely funny though

Check out www.despair.com

You can buy them all in many forms (cups, posters, etc.)

I'll try to post some more when I can.

Jon

Oh yeah. I have several of these around my office. I even took the time once to put a sign on the shredder that said, "Employee Suggestion Box." I got in trouble for stickin' it to the Man. That's what it's all about!

Hey, if anyone wants to know the URL for these it's www.despair.com. I figured I'd at least plug the company you're stealing pictures from. Have fun!

Here are some proverbs I found :

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Woman who cooks Beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.

He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.

The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door..

Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.

He who eats to many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.

Man who fly plane upside down have crackup.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

Man who eat prunes get good run for money.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

43% of all statistics are worthless.

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

You can lead a fool to wisdom but you can't make him think.

"A Wise Man can see more from the bottom of a well than a Fool can see from the top of a mountain." .

"You never test the depth of a river with both feet."

"Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand."

"The believer is happy. The doubter is wise."

It takes both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.

Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.

There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.

A man who thinks too much about his ancestors is like a potato—the best part of him is underground.

A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Your heart understands what your head cannot yet conceive; trust your heart.

A peacock who sits on his tail is just another turkey.

He who never made a mistake never made a discovery.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Okay Jon, looking for more Unmotivations! Very funny!

While we are on the topic of funny...I got this in my e-mail box and thought it was cute...

Oh, it's gonna take some cleaning up but it's Martha's Way (as in Martha Stewart) Vs. Maxine's Way (Maxine, the harried housewife cartoon). I am very closely related to Maxine.

*Martha's Way*

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

*Maxine's Way *

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery? Never heard of it!

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites

over the crust so I don't.

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future

use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine???????????

HELLO !!!!!!!

Kel, I have several favorites, but this one is really good!

Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.