The reason I was able to gain this much weight is that I have no idea what I look like. I was thin once upon a time and went through much of my life as a decently good-looking, well-liked thinnish person. Now I weight 280 but half the time I'm totally shocked when I see myself, or see the people on The Biggest Loser who weigh what I weigh. Reverse anorexia? I look like hell and think I'm a supermodel. OK nothing close to that, but I do think that a strategically placed full length mirror would have done me some good! Anyone else? I'm such an idiot!!!

I think a level of denial is very very common in most people with weight issues. Myself, well I've been heavy my whole life and it was all I ever knew. I spent years and years dieting in secret, but always played the part of being a confident and sexy bigger girl.... I think in some ways, I was trying to convince everyone else that I was ok with my body and not just another big-girl-that-wishes-she -was-skinny (and therefore a failure).

Now, when I look at the few full body pics that I have at my heaviest -- WOW, I don't ever remember looking like that! The idea in my head of how I looked was very far off from reality as I see it now. I remember being at my highest and seeing others on The Biggest Loser around the same weight... "I must have really dense bones" or "glad my proportions are much better than that!" HA, it's amazing what we tell ourselves to feel better.

Oddly enough, as I approach my goal, I feel like I've become much much more realistic and critical of myself. I swear the female psyche can be a dangerous thing :-)

I know exactly what you're talking about! I was a thin person who got fat after marriage and a couple of kids, but I was still the fun person with lots of friends and didn't realize what I had looked like...until now! The only reason why I had the band put in was because I was diabetic and my doctor recommened I get the band to help because I was going to be on insulin for the rest of my life. I don't know how I let myself get to that point, but somehow I managed. I'm so glad I made the decision to do this...now I feel like myself again and it feels so great!

I weigh 126 pounds, some days i still feel fat. I think all women have good days and bad days no matter what size they are!

I used to say that I had "reverse anorexia"---I look in the mirror and think I'm thin. Photos are a different matter...for some reason the mirror lets me stay in denial. but when I'd see a photo I'd cringe at how fat I was. Same thing with catching your reflection in a store window.

Weird.

I've always been overweight, but as I put more and more weight on, I didn't realize it. Maybe because most of my weight gain happend around pregnancies, I don't know. After having my last child (he's 5 1/2 now!) as I had to shop for bigger and bigger clothes, 5x, then 6x, then 7x, it still didn't click "hey girl, you are really putting it on" It wasn't until my husband took a photo of my son and I just so happended to be getting dressed in the background...all I had on was my underwear! I saw that and was like OMG!!!! WTF!!! Then it hit me, I am really really huge! YET, I still didn't do anything about my weight! I didn't do anything until my mom won a free 2 month membership for 2 to Curves. And I only went initially because it was free.

But, even after losing so much weight, I still don't see myself accurately. I look in the mirror or in window as I'm passing by and think I look ok, but in photos, I'm like, UGH, why don't I look in the photos like I look in the mirror? It's very strange! I wonder if it will still be like that once I get even smaller?

Even after losing almost 70 lbs I still don't want to see a picture of myself. I have avoided having my picture taken for years, and as a result I have very few of them with my kids. I regret that so much. A few years ago we celebrated my parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary and of course that meant a family photo. I remember when I saw those pictures. I loomed like a giant over everybody else in my family. That really sucked. It is painful to even look at them. I am really starting to have people comment on my weight loss now so maybe I need to just get over it and have my picture taken. I just don't want to be disappointed. I am starting to like what I see in the mirror, but pictures are different. They don't lie.

Those pictures will be important one day! Congrats on the weight loss. You're doing great!!! But force yourself, for your grandchildren's sake, to be in those pictures!! Best wishes always!

I've always been overweight, but as I put more and more weight on, I didn't realize it. Maybe because most of my weight gain happend around pregnancies, I don't know. After having my last child (he's 5 1/2 now!) as I had to shop for bigger and bigger clothes, 5x, then 6x, then 7x, it still didn't click "hey girl, you are really putting it on" It wasn't until my husband took a photo of my son and I just so happended to be getting dressed in the background...all I had on was my underwear! I saw that and was like OMG!!!! WTF!!! Then it hit me, I am really really huge! YET, I still didn't do anything about my weight! I didn't do anything until my mom won a free 2 month membership for 2 to Curves. And I only went initially because it was free.

But, even after losing so much weight, I still don't see myself accurately. I look in the mirror or in window as I'm passing by and think I look ok, but in photos, I'm like, UGH, why don't I look in the photos like I look in the mirror? It's very strange! I wonder if it will still be like that once I get even smaller?

Too funny!!! lol :lol:

Interestingly, I look the same now in my head as I did then and I still get a shock when I see photos because I expect the nasty feeling and I'm actually THINNER than I imagine!

I have to take a picture of myself from time to time if I want to know what I actually look like, the mirror does nothing for me. It's amazing how your perception can be so distorted. When I "see" a picture, then I know what I look like, otherwise, I still feel like I'm heavier than I am. It helps.

I guess I never thought that allowing myself to have a picture taken would be a good thing. There has just been too many years of cringing when I saw photos of myself. My daughter made the comment the other day that she had been looking at her wedding photos. She said, "Mom, you don't even look like the same person". I went and looked closely at those photos. She is right I don't look like that anymore when I look in the mirror. If I am being honest with myself though, I never saw that when I looked in the mirror. That is so strange. Why do pictures still hold so much fear for me? I guess it is because somehow I fooled myself into believing for years that I wasn't that big. Then I would see myself in a picture and get a huge dose of reality. I am afraid that I am still seeing something in the mirror that really doesn't exist.

My kids and grandkids are coming this weekend. I am going to have someone take a picture of me with my grandbabies, and dog gone it I am going to frame it!

You go girl! Take those pictures! It helps to validate your success!

Yep, I've blogged a lot about my BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder)...I didn't see myself as that bad and now I'm having a hard time seeing myself thinner. The 'before pics' and 'durings' have helped a lot...who ever sees themselves from the rear? ...and we're all adept at not looking in mirrors and running from cameras!

I'm guessing that old age is much the same. On the inside you'll always feel like your thinner, younger self. After all, it's still YOU.

After I lose this weight and some time passes I'll be looking at pictures and saying "who's that thin, old lady in the mirror?" Sigh. Life is hard!