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I usually make things for christmas gifts too. Not this year though because I'm in college. Everyone looks forward to my bracelets and crochet goodies. With this surgery coming up I also am trying to conserve money. We only bought gifts for my son this year. Our friends have all moved out of state and my parents hate when we give them gifts. They believe once you hit 18 christmas gifts are of christmas past.

On another note, My brother will be having a baby soon so I am hoping to get a baby blanket crochet over christmas break.

Good luck to you, and take a moment for yourself.

You know, I thought I had thoroughly researched this lap band thing. Somewhere in all the excitment I got a little mixed up. The post-op diet takes 5 weeks before I am back to eating whole foods not 5 days. If I can't win the battle over carbs now how am I gonna follow the post-op diet. I feel like I am carrying around alot more weight now. I didn't sleep well last night because I am reconsidering the surgery. I don't want to get the band then hurt myself by cheating, vomiting. So with the lack of sleep last night I managed to get up late and missed breakfast before class. Then discovered today was the day my teacher wanted to discuss death. Memories just came flooding back about my MIMI and how she passed when I was a teen. I was fighting tears all through class, still am. Not to mention I am hormonal because it's that time of the month. Plus I haven't had my psych meds in a week because I have been saving for the lapband. I am getting creepy and depressed feelings again. I am gonna call my doc and try to get samples to last till I get paid. Usually I would take it easy when I get these feelings but I have 2 finals wed and need to study. I wish I could just step out of these feelings and look at everything objectively but I can't without my meds. I can feel the mixed episode coming on.

Congrats on starting your journey. My surgery is scheduled for Jan so we will likely be walking the same road at the same time.

I go through periods of hair loss too and I am not yet banded. I would try adding protein powder to soups and maybe even go see and endocrinologist and have my hormones checked. Congrats on 40 pounds though. If your not happy talk with your doc and see what can be changed. You deserve success don't give up.

You don't have to read this. Just some thoughts.

Will my surgery day ever come? It feels like christmas when I was a kid. It is taking forever to get here. I have 3 weeks left without the band.Four days till my next appt. I know my Doc is gonna expect to see some weight loss. Honestly I do too. I gave up soda and have been limiting my carbs and have been working out but the weight just doesn't want to drop. This is the struggle I have been in for years and this is why I am getting the lapband in the first place. Diets don't work. Even the low carb diet the Doc wants me on. I get stuck in the vicous cycle of restriction and binging. I will do great on a diet for a week then I feel so restricted I give up and binge. I am ok with giving up soda. I guess I wasn't as into it as I thought I was but carbs is another story. Every day without carbs the desire for them grows. Then something will happen (like my dinner won't thaw in time or someone will eat all my eggs) and I use it as an excuse to eat carbs. Once I get started I can't stop.

I finally told my MIL today that I am on a diet. She gave me no reaction which is good. I was expecting a lecture about my eatting habits. The thing is she isn't telling me anything I don't already know. Just as much as food haunts me so do the negative comments. "It is my fault I am fat.""If I was a better person I wouldn't be in this situation". Honestly, the fat people I know are kinder, gentler, more undertanding than the skinny people I know. So how can it be that fat people are bad. We're not! When will the guilt go away. When can I put my thoughts into things that are more valuable to me?

My MIL brought home a chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream icing and raspberry filling, I am trying to study but all I can think about is that cake. Maybe I should throw it away. Tell her it went bad. JK I don't usually lie. I am still trying to think of a way to tell her I am having this surgery. I really would rather lie to her and not tell her at all but I don't want to be a liar. I don't think there is anyway to soften the blow from her. Probably a bandaid situation. It's gonna hurt so you gotta pull it off as fast as possible and get it over with.

oh well thats just my ranting today.

When my son was 2 we waited an hour and a half to met santa byt the time it was finally his turn he was so upset. He took his picture and was just crying and screaming. All I could do was smile. I love the pic though it reminds me never to waitan hour and a half for santa. This year I was 3rd in line the first day santa arrived at the mall. Took about 20 min total.

I have a soft spot for pancakes too. I thought about making some fore my son for breakfast but I knew I would end up gobbling one down. Good luck tonite on finding a healthy option.

Sorry you had a prob with another member. Glad I have been avoiding those post. Congrats on your body changes.

Sorry you had such a bad virus. Is gastroentritis common with a band? Or just coincidence? Hope your cold clears up soon too and that the 10 pounds is permanent.

I love to hear how well people are doing on the band. I can't wait for the day I reach under 200 lbs. Atleast now I can see the day coming. I have a five year old son and can't wait to be able to take him places and not be embarassed of my weight.

I read those post when I was first doing research on the band. I almost decided not to do it but then I met my surgeon and feel alot more confident in my decision to do it.I am careful to stay away from the negative blogs. My experience with the band will be my very own. No one else will have the same exact experience I will have so I take the info with a grain of salt. I have have read so much positive stuff about the band, it far out weighs the negative. Don't let things get you down.

It is bewildering to think the day will come when I won't be the biggest girl in the room. Congrats on your surgery. Glad it went so smooth.

I just got back from anatomy class and I am pretty sure I just aced the first half of my final. I am so excited. This is my first semester since I dropped out 10 years ago. I never expected I would do so well. I honestly thought I would get B's and C's but so far all A's. Some of them barely A's. I am also setting the curve in my human growth and development class. Hopefully this is just getting th ball rolling for my new life. I will have a new career and a made over body, a new wardrobe, a whole new attitude. I really am looking forward to the future.

I am also making new friends. Which is hard because I have some social anxiety. I am scared to death to talk to new people but these classes are pulling me outo of my comfort zone and forcing me to get to know people. Hopefully I will find a friend somewhere. A best friend that doesn't care about my faults, that I can talk to about personal stuff and that I can share clothes with.

Have I hit my midlife crisis at age 28? I am not happy where I was at but I sure am climbing out of that ditch.

Is my husband gonna like the new me? I really am not sure. It already scares him that I have made a few homosexual friends. I think he is a little upset with my new assertivness too. I usually am very passive but lately have been putting my foot down. expecially about getting the Lapband. I had hoped once I graduated school he could return but he seems happy in his job right now so I don't want to push him out of it. I am doing this for all of us. Going to school so we can be more finacially stable and losing the weight has so many benifits. One thing I am hoping for is and improved labido. Even more energy. Once I am earning the money I want to be able to spend the money with my family. Visiting places, flying, rollercoasters, waterparks all of which are so hard now. Even maintaining a house, yard work and stuff. It all seems possible now and I hope my husband will see that I am considering him when I considered the band. I don't want to leave this world early and leave him alone with my son.

Congrats on cleaning the house I struggle with it too. I can't wait to feel like my old self again.

Are you drinking while your eatting? If your not feeling full I would move my appt up and get in sooner. Have him take all the fluid out to see how much is in there. This can see if there is a leak. Then he can just fill you back up again. You date for your next fill is already outta date you may need to edit it.

I am hungry too. My MIL buys all this junk food and it just haunts me. Tonite she is making a casserole that I can't eat. So I am finally gonna tell her I am on a diet so she won't be offended when I skip her meal tonite.

How old is your kiddo, mine is 5 and he is def a handful.

Sorry don't know where to get the protein stuff yet. Good luck today.

I suffer from depression too and need to lose the same as you. The thing is everyone thinks I am lazy. I really am sick. The meds help but because of the weight and meds I am exhausted all the time. I am overcoming it though. I was so sick at one point I couldn't even drive because I would fall asleep. Now I am doing so well, I went back to nursing school. Take time out for you everyday. Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for a bubble bath. You are worth it. Keep working with your doc. It is a long road out of depression but if you keep fighting it good days will come.

Congrats. Sorry about all the drama though.

So I have been thinking about what exactly to say to my inlaws and I think I am just gonging to tell them I have a doc appt and I am on a diet. I really don't feel like it is everyone's business. I will need them to get my son ready for school on surgery day. SO I am planning on just saying My hubby and I have an early appt. If they ask questions I will just tell them it's personal.

My husband has been better the past couple days. Maybe we are just avoiding talking about it.

I am excited about getting a lapband but I am worried too. Is this really something I can do the rest of my life. I imagine myself at age 70 hurling because I drank to fast. Will I set off metal detectors? What if I need an MRI or a X-ray will the metal in the port cause problems? It is all just worry for the sake of worrying.

I know it is going to take something Life altering like the Lap band to fix this problem. I have tried it alone and it doesn't work for me.

I will be having my surgery a week before the next semester. I think by the end of the semester I am gonna look like a whole new person. I can't wait. May this be the last time I worry about wether or not I will fit in the desk at school. Most of my classes are in labs but I do have one that will be in a regular classroom. I don't want to be the fat nurse who's boobs are in your face when she leans over you. I wanna be the hot nurse who's boobs are in your face when she leans over you. :crying: Wohooo.I should be at goal by the time I graduate. What a feeling that will be. I will be Starting Over.:sneaky:

I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for posting this.

It is actually called deferred pain. I just studied this in my anatomy class. With the way our nerves run through our body we will sometimes have internal pain that will be deferred to a more superficial place on the body. Here is a blog about it with a pic Anatomy Notes: Referred pain.. This teacher calls it referred pain.

Hope you have a quick recovery.

I know at some point I must tell my in laws that I am having this surgery. We live with them and this is not something that I can hide. I wish I could. The more I get to know my MIL the more I realize how closed minded and judgemental she is. She judges everyone and for some reason I guess it didn't hit me till the past few months that,YES, she judges me too. So I talked to my husband last night to decide when and how we are going to break the news. Come to find out my husband thinks I am selfish for wanting this surgery. He feels I haven't considered his feelings at all about this. WTH? He feels like I am spending his money all on my self. (now who is selfish) He was so mad because in order to save up for the surgery I have been taking money out of the account and stashing it in the house. That way I know it won't be spent. Wed he was home all day. He had to work the night shift. On his way to work he wanted to grab a burger. (instead of cooking himself dinner with all the free time he had wed). I told him there was no money left in the account he had already spent it all. (on fast food) So because I took the money out for surgery and he couldn't have a burger I am selfish. My surgery should in no way interfer with his life. He shouldn't have to sacrifice like me and my son do because he is "working his butt off". He deserves to spend his money whenever and however he wants and me and our son should just go without?

Needless to say, we got in a huge fight. He did apologize this morning. I am still taking the money out and hiding it because I don't want it thrown away on fast and convenient foods. I still plan on going through with this surgery.

At some point I still need to tell my inlaws. I am not sure how to handle my MIL because I know she is going to flip out and I don't know what to say. I mentioned it to her before to kinda get a feel of how she feels about it. She told me if I would stop eatting white food I would lose weight. Personally I have never heard of the white food diet. I have never found a diet that people consistently lost 150 like I need. Only WLS can do that consistently.

I have the same date.Yay.

You really are doing a great job. Breaking it down into small goals is a great way to look at things. Let go of the guilt it gets you no where words of the big OPRAH. Just allow yourself to feel the JOY of being thin and healthy. That will motivate you to get there. If it feels great now just imagine how it will feel when you get there. I take it one meal at a time.

Just invision yourself healthy, thin and happy. Even take the time out to draw it on paper. The new you. Keep it in you purse or post it up if you'd like. You can do this. You want to do this. It is not impossible.

I don't want my son to be embarrassed either. Or my hubby. I want him to be proud to introduce me to his coworkers. Good Luck. Here's to your new life.