ReadySteadyGo

Oh the talented half of the writers of Good will hunting. He also stars in several Kevin Smith films, he is the main character in all the bourne Identity movies, and he is the guy that was checking our cute OP out. He's decent. Oh he also plays in "the talented Mr. Ripley"

I am staying on plan today because I had cake yesterday, and cake is not on plan.

I don't think what you are going through is unusual. In fact my partner went through the exact same thing when she had gastric bypass 8 years ago. She became very angry and antisocial. All these people who never spoke to her or looked at her were treating her like "an actual person". It's societies problem with fat people and I am sure that is hard to deal with. I hope you can get through this...if it makes you feel better, she did. I would seek therapy if you can. I think everyone could use some therapy sometimes. Good luck with you, and congrats on all your accomplishments.

Though it is misguided, and mayb be subconsciously wanted her fat buddy to stay that way...she also truely might be fearful for you. When my old roommate talked about gastric bypass it terrified me. I just knew she would die if she had that surgery, that she could never follow the guidelines, it horrified me. I still feel that way. I still think that it was too extreme...but I've learned to keep my opinions about other peoples bodies to my freaking self. She never did the gastric bypass. She couldn't even follow the pre-op rules so now she is trying to get insurance to pay for a lapband. I just smile and nod and tell her good luck. The point is, your friend might think she is helping, but sometimes people have a lot of opinions on things they shouldn't...and should really keep their mouths shut. Good job on being able to keep your own shut, even if your friend cant.

Congrats to both our new onerderland guests. I hate you guys a little bit. :-) I'm just joshing with you. That is truely awesome news. Keep up the fantastic work. Tara

I know the grass is greener and what not... but seriously you should see the foot and a half God alloted me for legs. They look like large, white stuffed sausages kinda like a chubby babies. I know its like the girl with straight hair always wants curly and vice versa...but tall girls are hot!

I'm staying on plan today because the scale was two lbs down at the gym yesterday and it felt good.

When I start to feel too crazy I go work out. My anger seems to make me skinnier :thumbup:

Oh yeah. Sucks huh :thumbup: Most dr.'s advise their lapband patients against carbonated beverages because the gas can cause pain, and the carbonation can stretch the pouch Fibrous foods CAN cause problems. But asparagus is my favorite veggie and the only part I find hard to get down is the ends if they were not cut short enough. This is very individual, however. The hardest part for me was giving up champagne. Really, though soda's can be an addiction and giving up unhealthy addictions are never a bad idea. Water taste better to me now.

Agreed. But a big girl does not order six lbs of food on a first date, break the chair shrug and get another chair and continue stuffing their face. Nor is it usual to see them in a itty bitty bikini ( I guess some do but not around here anyway ) Just like I have never seen a group of bulemic blondes throwing up togethor in one bathroom like I have seen on tv. I think if you have a good movie you don't need that sterotypical crap. It's just unintelligent, to me.

Yay! Don't you feel better?

I agree with Jack. She must have taken her time to really consider how and why she was feeling negative things towards you and it takes a lot of courage to admit the things she has admitted to you. She either values your friendship enough to be honest...or doesn't care enough about you to care if she effects your feelings, I don't know her personally so I couldn't advise you either way. Heres the thing though. If these are her issues, you cannot let them effect you or the positive things you are doing with your life. You are on a long, sometimes hard journey and you don't need extra obstacles in your way. The really hard part about this is you have known her for ten years and if I was you I think I will feel betrayed that I invested so much time in a friendship that only existed because she likes the fact that you weren't as skinny as her. You are more than your weight. You are a combination of many variables as we all are. If she doesn't care for you for who you are but only because you make her feel pretty then I think it might be to finish cutting those chords of friendship that were frayed by her own selfish reasons for seeking your company. You are beautiful. Weight is not a reason to choose your friends.

This is true for the lapband...are you asking or telling? Are you talking about the lapband or bypass. I'm confused. Sorry.

Just keep swimming. So simple yet so true Rhapsody you rock. So does...whats that fishes Name?

Until now it has been my only support group also...but my emotions have been really bad for about a month and a half and I am scared that I need more. We don't have OA here, so I am looking into my Dr's support groups.

My Dr. does bypasses but he said that he only did bypass for people he felt didn't have two to five years to lose the weight, but that lap band was what he felt was the leading surgery today. They both work, but it is very individual. You have to do whats right for you. I think we both did this. I think that people need to do the right surgery for their particular needs. I feel like I have made the right choice, but just decide what works best for you OP and go for it. Good luck with your decision

Amen! I hate movies like that whether they are about Fatties, Aneroxics, Black, white, Mexicans, Asian, Male, female, gay, *insert any other label here* it's a false image they are providing and I think it is just stupid and distasteful. Shallow Hal tried to have a good message and I love Jack Black, but The movie was , as flipflop stated, just distasteful. I think the same thing about anything done recently by Carlos Mencia, college frat movies, etc. I am a movie snob. Be intelligent or atleast clever and don't rely on stupid sterotypes and making fun of people to entertain your viewers.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!!!!

Oh that sucks. Silly term but I think it is a useful phrase for days such as that. I'm thankful you atleast have some extra cash at the moment to be able to handle it, but I HATE slaying all those dragons that situations like car wrecks cause. Good luck and I will be thinking of you.

Brandy- Sometimes I think it's fear, especially when there is not a medical reason that the band isn't working. It is fear that people who the band is working for will think that they are a failure. It is fear that the unmoving scale has made them a failure. Especially in a forum like this where the results are so positive for so many people. And I think that sometimes people do attack when someone finds the courage to say "its not working and I don't know why" because these particular people NEED a logical or illogical reason that it isn't working for that particular bander or it might not work for them, or it might just quit working, and some of us are a little desperate for this to work(IMHO). I think sometimes someones own fears and insecurities make them quicker to jump on the "it's something wrong with you" bandwagon and fear can defintly cloud sympathies. Though I think most people on this forum are supportive and kind, sometimes teeth are bared for no visable reasons, and I have to think that people are dealing with their own issues. I see what your saying, anyway. I also think others who the band has been almost effortless for forget that others have not had it so easy. This is easy to do. Thank you for bringing another perspective in, especially for those who are unbanded and are doing research. IT's better to know all the possibilities going in I think.

Me too. It's really hard for me not to use it here. It expresses things other words just can't hold a candle too. And I am from Louisiana, we are all lucky that anyone can understand anything I write, hum, speak, or mumble.

Oh that sucks. It really bothers me when people you love are waiting for you to fail to make themselves feel better. It's like they can accept their own shortcomings as long as everyone around them is not doing any better. kind of like that saying... Lord if I can't be skinny make all my friends fat But you know what happens when everyone you know is fat...you just keep getting fatter.

salesmen? What kind of place do you work at? I work at a toyota dealership. Mostly everyone is supportive.

Sorry I am a late, but I wanted to throw my thoughts in. First of all, I am sure your mother-in-law thought she was being encouraging, but it was an ass thing to say. I think you have reached a milestone and deserve to be proud of yourself. I know I am proud of you congrats and good work. Second, I once got asked when my baby was due at 170 lbs, which is below my goal weight. Don't worry about it. Some people are just ignorant. Personally I don't ask anyone about their pregnancy unless they are wearing a shirt with an arrow pointing to their belly that says "Baby in here, ask me about it" Because 9 out of 10 times you look like a rude jackass for making assumptions. We all know what happens when one assumes. I am sorry that happened to you. Dang Bubble bursters. And here is my most important point (to me) Does it make sense that my feelings are hurt? Probabley not--- Your feelings dont have to make sense, they are your feelings not your logic. You have every right to feel like you do. You let those feelings out girl. I am so glad you choose to come here and gripe instead of holding those perfectly justifiable feelings in and numbing them with icecream...which is what I have to fight with myself not to do. You go girl.

I wish I could help you with the OA question, unfortunately in shreveport I can't even find a OA meeting here. And the south has a large large problem with Overreating. (MPO)