ReadySteadyGo

Well you, in general, rock Cerrin. I started the oliptical because of you- Did you know that. I can still only do 8.5 minutes, but I used to be able to barely do three so I'm improving.

I think sometimes the idea of success is just as scary as the idea of failure. That might sound off, but I find it to be true.

Amen thats all! Stop telling me my messages are too short, maybe that is all I want to say. Huh? AMEN. That is all I had on my mind. Now I have to yell at you for trying to tell me what to do. MY post are too short? My post was just fine thank you very much!---Sorry. I'm in a bad mood.

I think I might go to the support groups too. Sounds good to me. thanks for the inspiration.

Okay! Why haven't I lost 50 lbs? I eat okay, I workout (not all the time, but doens't even joining the gym prove something?) And all these people banded when I was have lost 50 lbs...and they are taller than me, and smaller than me and you can really really tell, but me ME!!!! I have struggled so much with my 35 Damn it! Not saying I'm not happy for my fellow fitness travelers but DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! I want to be three sizes down. My hips and belly haven't moved one size down it seems, my pants might be looser but the smaller pants still didn't fit when I went shopping. I know that my band is working, but my body is not freaking coroporating and I'm just DAMN IT!! I want to post pretty pictures of my accomplishments. I want to bask in friends saying WOW you have really lost weight, instead I feel their glances on my body and I want to yell "I've lost 35 lbs I am just really really fat so you can't tell!" Freaking Freak Freak Freak. I want to be supportive, I want to be happy for you guys. I am I really am. I just wish I was taller. If I was taller it would be more obvious. I wish I was taller and had long legs. I wish I was taller with long legs and a waist you could see. I wish I was taller with long legs, a waist, and those long graceful arms. I mean. Could a girl just at least be 5'5? Please? AHHHHHHH! I am just so ANGRY! ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY DAMN IT! And to top it off, I have lost restriction, so I called my Dr. to bump up my appointment and they could only get me in 5 days sooner. So I still have almost a month to fight with this. I am 329 when I started this and just above 5 ft, and I am still kinda young...I was expecting the weight to fall off, just FALL OFF and it instead it's kinda trickling slowly down, with maybe lazy stops along the way. THe band is working, just I want it to go FASTER FASTER FASTER. Damn it! Then there is bread. Did you know that bread is freaking everywhere and when I see someone eating bread I want to rip it from their hands and slap them in the face with it because my band doesn't let me have it (thank god) and I am seriously addicted to bread. And I want to yell at everyone eating bread around me. Then their is my skinny minnie 95 lb workmate who eats EVERYTHING EVERYTHING. Shes sweet supportive and cannot gain weight, which I know is just as tragic as not being able to keep it off, but my dark side that has emerged since I got this band wants to kill her. And I Think she is the sweetest, kindest thing...and I want to strangle her. I'm such a bitch. O and the salesmen who bring donuts and cakes and Cookies and sausage biscuits and put them by my desk for everyone. If you read about the psycho receptionist who blugened a co-worker to death with a box of donuts that is me. Maybe I will lose weight in jail. I hear they have a great gym, come visit me whenever you can. I suck.

Hope everything is going better for you. Take care. I know you will get that sweet spot soon

Because I am going to the gym, and I might as well not waste all that work with chocolate.

The FIRM dvds? I have never heard of them. Are they available everywhere?

Sorry I'm late Gloucoster. I am so happy you decided to pick up the phone and make the appointment. Sometimes that can be the hardest part. You rock dear.

I would stick to the wine, the carbonation is a killer. Not literally, I just mean if I cheat I with coke, champagne (no beer for me) I feel very uncomfortable.

For the most part- I have smoked a few ciggerettes which I quit months and months before the surgery but it's nothing compared to that one particular week of my fill, but I am still kinda up and down. The up is more than down though. I entered my first art show in years and years. Trying to find new outlets for stress. Talking back a little more to people, but only when they need it. :biggrin: Thank you all.

Ezma you are really shrinking

See you there

Sounds like your band gave you a slap on the wrist.

You look great

I think you will. I really do

So for the first time since High School I am submitting something to a show. For those of you who don't know I am a little obsessed with art, but I have not been able to finish anything in three years I didn't hate, and before that once I finished something it ended up on my wall, friends walls, in myu closet.... I was very not productive with it. Saturday, at the Lucha Libre art show their will be a peice signed by me. And it's brave. It's thick, and somewhat dark, and a little offensive. I have never had the nerve to paint something that others might find offensive. I can be polite to a fault...but It was how I felt and I put it on a canvas and thought. Who cares who doesn't like it. Who cares who gets offended. Thats a big step for me. I am even going to participate in a live graffitti art at the show just for fun. Today I saw a flier for the show, and in with other artist was MY name. Right in the middle. Well...not my name but "Tara the Terror" because that's what they know me as. Anyway. Just proud of myself. Wanted to share. It's better than the scale to me.

Slow and steady wins the race, Ms. Gibson. I am not a quick loser either, but I don't mind. Give us a Little more time, and we will be FINE! I mean fine in the supersexy way as well as the feeling fine thanks way. Don't stress it.

OHH Freaking Sweet! I am so happy for you. See you there in maybe a year or two. YAY. I am super super super freaking excited for you!

So I entered a peice in an art show. First time since High school. I am scared, and nervous, and anxious...but so happy. Painting isn't actually exercise, but it can requires a lot of energy really, and I just couldn't get anything accomplished. I am proud of it. I need more practice, but I am excited. It's a political peice and maybe the most angry thing I have ever done, but that is a victory in itself. If I offend people...so what. For me to think that is a huge thing. I am usually polite to a fault. I just wanted to share. After the show I think I might put up some pics.

Well I'm happy for you.

I don't know. The rest of you is getting smaller, maybe a new haircut would really showcase your weightloss. :-)

I'm pretty far behind, but if someone can't date you at 100+ then why would you want to date that person. If they are geniunely interested in you why would it matter what size you are? Maybe it's diffrent when you are married and dating, I don't know. As to your friend. Well, if you were her friend because your were bigger than her then fuck her. You deserve a friend thats there through "thick or thin" :thumbup:

Nah. You haven't lost your mind, its still in there. Have fun playing soccar. I think you will enjoy it.

Yikes! I am sorry that happened. I don't have any technical advice so I wanted to give you some empathy.