Leaderboard

My son called for his daily chat, a time I really look forward to. He says, "How was your day?" Well I've had a lovely day. I got to go into the office, work with a team of 6 very smart people, we all got some great thinking and work done. I was able to join them in the lunch I ordered for us, and I've extremely been productive all day. What were the first words out of my mouth in response to my son's question? "Well, I'm still stalled." WTH?? That's all I can think of to tell him about my day?? So he's a very insightful smarty-pants and he says to me, "Mom it was one thing to rely on the scale when you could say 'oh maybe I should cut down a bit tomorrow' and use the scale to monitor and adjust your eating habits. But really, what role does the scale play in your life now??" For a change, I was speechless. Well he wasn't about to stop there. He carries on saying, "Maybe you should ask yourself if it's healthy to let what you see on a scale determine your feelings of success for the day? After all you're doing what you need to, and you told me you were going to focus on process vs. the outcome. Would anything change in your process if you just threw away the scale for 3 months?" No of course it wouldn't but can i throw away the scale for 3 months? I cannot. Why? Because maybe I'm sick in the head and I associate my self-worth with success or failure at pounds lost. Not what I do to succeed, but whether the scale says I've lost weight today. Unlike a lot of people here, over the last few years i could NOT lose weight. I could control my calories, my cardio-vascular health, what I put in my mouth, but I couldn't control my weight. Yet I continued to judge myself by my ability to lose weight. Not by my ability to do what was healthy, but whether or not I could lose weight. I may have been sleeved, but apparently that way of judging myself still persists. So really, if we are eating our protein, drinking our water, and exercising to the degree that we can, what role does or should the scale play in our lives when we're trying to lose weight? Should we not focus on the process, monitor the crap out of the protein and water and calories, and let the scale go off on a long hike to TImbuktoo? And can we do that? Why not?

Happy Sleeversary to me I can't believe that it has been 12 months since I had the surgery. For those of you who don't know me here are my stats: Starting weight was 173kg/ 382 Pounds and my current weight is 87kg/ 190 Pounds. Before surgery I hadn't slept lying down in a bed (comfortably) in over 7 years. I had chronic asthma, everything hurt all of the time (although I denied it back then) and it was just a struggle to move around. I had the surgery on September 3 2012. Things went badly. I got a leak. It took several surgeries and many months in ICU/ Surgical Ward before I could get the all clear to leave. That was November 2012. I didn't go back to work full time until the end of January 2013. Since then, well heck, things have just been getting better and better. The weight loss has been amazing. I've lost 86 kg/ 189.5 pounds - so tantalisingly close to half way lol. No fudging though - pesky 0.5kg The NSV's have been even better - the CLOTHES, shoes, movement, I am a "runner" now (on week 3 of the Couch to 5 K and am running in a 5K obstacle course at the end of the year), energy, clarity in thinking, enjoyment in life, exciting opportunities, flying without the embarrassment of asking for an extension seat belt, people looking you in the eye, not being "invisible" anymore, shop assistants are helpful and attentive, men FLIRT (okay, so maybe I do too - just a little), I've had a significant promotion, looking to travel OS next year, am planning for a future THAT I WANT not just settling for what I think I can have. For anyone considering this surgery know that there are real risks involved. For a while, the first few months in fact, I had really thought I had stuffed up and ruined my life by having the surgery. This was due to the complications and difficult recovery that I had during this time. Looking back now, whilst I would never want to be back in that place, I am so grateful for where I am now that I truly believe this to be the most wonderful, life changing – life SAVING – thing I could have done for me, for my family and to secure my future. Where to from here? Well I want to lose about 14kg more which will mean an overall loss of 100kg and my weight will be around 73kg. I am quite tall so I would look quite thin at this weight. Not sure if I will get there or will want to, but at the least, I would like to lose another 10kg hopefully by Christmas. I am loving my new active life, the way that food has become fuel and though still enjoyable, it’s no longer the driving force in my life. I wish you all the same happiness and success in your own journey’s! I have put in some comparison photo's for you guy's to see the transformation Best wishes to you all! Cheers, Liss

I was born a healthy baby on March 30, 1973. I weighed 8lbs, 11 oz and was about 21 inches long. In first grade, I weighed 70 lbs. In 5th grade, 120. By the time I was a junior in high school, I weighed 206 lbs. I was 5'4" tall. It's not a sedentary lifestyle that led me to be a heavy girl. Lord knows I was active...riding bikes, playing tag, being the only girl among a ton of boys took a lot of energy if you wanted to have something to do besides watch TV. I swam, I ran, I spent years in the marching band huffing and running and carrying instruments of various weights. Yeah, I was active. But I ate. I snuck food, I binged, I stole food from our pantry. Cookies and candy were my favorite. I would eat 3 or 4 pop tarts for breakfast, finding it odd that m friends only ate 1. I drank milk and soda. I would get ice cream from the ice cream man, hide to eat it then go inside to eat dinner. I remember drinking a 2 liter bottle of coke between my grandmother's house and mine. 5 doors down. I was 10. When I got into middle school, I realized I didn't dress the way my friends did. I dressed in the "women's department" becuause the Juniors department clothes didn't fit. I remember crying with my mom in the kitchen one night because kids laughed at me for using a diaper pin to hold the seam of my pants closed. I remember being teased for having breasts in 4th grade. When I joined the marching band in 9th grade, Mom took an old pair of her slacks and added the stripe for the uniform on each leg so I would look like the other kids. When I went to Europe in 1990, she altered my marching uniform by adding gussets in the torso & thighs so a mens' XL jumpsuit would fit. No one knew but me, but that was enough. None of that stopped me from eating. At that time, my afterschool snack, before band, orchestra, jazz band, choir or drama club practice was a bottle of orange soda & 2 king size packs of peanut butter cups. Fruits & veggies? a rarity in my diet because I was rarely home to eat dinner. Nothing seemed to take away my need to put food in my mouth. It didn't matter what or when it was. Food has been a major part of my life. A way of life. My life has revolved around food for most of my life. I have really needed to find a way to stanch the flow of food. What would the breaking point be? Insulin? Nah...blood pressure? Nope. High Cholesterol? Oh no. Knowing how rampantly heart disease runs in my family and that my own father had a stroke at 17 didn't stop me. In 2005, my brother & sister in law blessed me with my oldest niece. I wanted to live for Emma. Still, I shoveled food in. In 2010, I became an aunt again. As I sat and held Caroline, I knew I needed to do something, so I joined a gym and would go almost every day. I joined weight watchers and attempted to stick to it. I herniated 3 discs in my back in 2011. Stopped going to the gym, which wasn't that difficult since I had stopped going so faithfully, and ate like it was my last meal. On January 2 of this year, during a visit to my endocrinologist, there were 2 words next to my name I never associated with my name. MOrbid Obesity. It was right then and there I made the decision to make the change.

average loss with the band is 1-2 lbs a week it will be slow but if you follow the rules you will be successful....

Your band must be properly adjusted to work it's magic. You may need more than one fill to reach that zone.

This band has been a godsend. I won't lie. It helps me maintain my weight easily. I know how hard it was for me to not gain when my old band was leaking, and how super hard it was to lose, so I'm loving that my new band has me back on track. Yes I've had complications, but generally speaking, yes I've been 'lucky' with the band. My band has been SO easy to live with. Or maybe it was that I had realistic expectations, I don't know . But either way, I love that it's there helping me every day. But I also realised that I made my own 'luck' with the band. Even when I wasn't formally exercising in maintenance mode, I paid attention to my portions, I did lots of incidental exercising like using the stairs instead of the escalator (I still do), I didn't resume my bad eating habits. I stayed, for the most part, on program. So I do see this as a partnership between my band and me. I honestly believe that weight loss and maintenance would be VERY difficult, if not impossible, for me without a band. But I also know this little thing around my stomach didn't do it all for me. Far from it. I exercised to lose, I maintained a healthy lifestyle during maintenance, I am exercising today to ensure long term maintenance. I worked with it, and continue to work with it, everyday. The surgery will help you if you're willing to help yourself. And I'm worth investing in myself to be the best I can be. No one is going to want the best for me the way I could possibly want it for myself. I went through surgery to allow myself the best chance of success, so I will not let myself down by not putting in the effort to make it work. So yes I've been lucky to live with a band easily, but I sure as hell made my own luck as well. So stop sitting there waiting for a miracle to happen to you, go out and MAKE it happen.

I have been the "fat friend" my whole life! I also decided to "own" myself, but it was in my thirties instead of my twenties. I've decided that who I am has nothing to do with the number on the scale. BUT...I need to be healthy. And if any of my "friends" end up feeling cheated because they lost their "fat friend" and find no place for the real me in their life...so be it. I've vowed to be true to myself. It's all about me, baby!!!! (LOL...I'm not really that selfish, but it's fun to say that!)

In case no one has figured it out...I am the husband LOL. I am happy Kelli has finally joined up on the site and she can hear things first hand from a woman's perspective/experiences. :-)

Can I say that I relate as well, but wanted to add that one thing I have learnt being 5 years post banding is that I never changed. On the outside? Yes. How people treated me? Definitely. But the fundamental part of me, who I was, who I am, remains the same. That doesn't change with the what you weigh. The difference though between me and someone who was always thin is that I recognise that someone's weight doesn't define them. And it doesn't define me. Nor should it define you. Fat, thin, you will still be you.

I enjoyed reading your story. When I met with my original surgeon, long story, I said I felt like a failure because I needed the Band! She said I was not a failure but I was helping myself with a tool. She was right. I love my tool. I love no more 'fat stores'. I can fit into booths in restaurants and no longer have to ask for table and chairs. I can keep up with my grandsons. Don't think that getting the band means you are a failure and need help. We all need help everyday. In other ways. By the way, did you ever model? good luck with your choice. Maybe go to the support meetings with your husband. I go every month and most of the time my husband comes with me for support.