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Oh man, this is tough! I'd love to hear what others think, since if I was great at this, I wouldn't be in the same boat! That said, I will throw some ideas your way. 😁 Fundamentally, what we're talking about here is NOT forcing someone else to change, since that's impossible. Instead, what we have to do is help them realize that THEY need to make a change. I think there are a couple of models that would be useful to understand. This first is called the "Health Belief Model". This states that it's underlying beliefs and emotions about health behaviours and health risks that influence a decision to make a change. Beliefs about health risks are further influenced by the individual's perceived susceptibility and their understanding of the potential seriousness of the risk. For example, if you believe you are at high risk of a heart attack or stroke and you believe these are potentially life-threatening events, then you are much more likely to think that you need to make a change. The other key factor is your beliefs about health behaviors. Let's say you want to do something about your heart attack risk. You'll evaluate various health behaviors and will consciously or subconsciously grade them based on your own beliefs about the potential benefits of a specific behavior, as well as your beliefs about any barriers you foresee. An example might be acknowledging that a better diet would help, all the while highlighting all the reasons you can't change your diet or why it's too late for you to change. The takeaway for any of us trying to influence loved ones to change is that we can't actually force the change. What we can do is help them see the risks and benefits of changing, all the while also helping eliminate any barriers they see. The second model that I think is worth thinking about is called the "Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change" (often abbreviated TTM). Some of you may have also heard of this one called the "Stages of Change Model". The basic idea is that there are several major stages we go through in changing behaviors. In order: Precontemplation. At this stage, the person is either unaware, or under-aware of the problem (or believe it can't be solved). If the person is at this stage, about the best you can do is help them see the need to make changes. IMO, this works best if it's subtle. Maybe it's talking about the coworker that just had a heart attack. Maybe it's pointing out a news article you found interesting about a health topic. Maybe it's just modeling healthy behaviors so they have a reference point. Again, keep in mind that you can't force the change and telling them they need to change won't work either. It has to be their idea. You can only help them see the need to change and help them clear barriers. Contemplation. If they are at this stage, the battle is almost won. Here they are aware of the problem and are thinking through the pros and cons of various changes. At this point, they really don't know what to do to address the issue yet, so they may be ready to seek out expert advice or support. One of the best things I personally think you can do at this stage is help them find this additional support. Keep in mind that even if you are an expert in diet, exercise, or whatever, help and opinions from an outsider are often valued much higher. Preparation. This stage is when they actively start trying to make plans to change, but have not actually made any changes yet. My best advice here is to make sure they start small because a lot of people try to overhaul everything at once and it's just too much. Slow, sustainable changes are always going to work best. Action. Here they've actually started to make changes. It's really easy for them to get derailed here, so they're going to need your support to stick with it. Maintenance. At this point, the changes have become habit and are much more likely to become permanent. What they need from you at this point is encouragement. Relapse. This isn't inevitable, but preparing for it is worthwhile. (And see, this even comes back to the original topic! ) Obviously if this does happen, being there to help them work through restarting is imperative. Even if they don't relapse, it can be useful to do some thinking ahead of time about what sort of things might derail their new health behavior and then making plans ahead of time to keep it from happening. For example, holidays, travel, or being sick or injured are common examples of things that can cause relapse even in someone that's been successful for a while. Happy to explore more specific ideas, but this post feels overly long already! Best of luck!

I haven't had any issues with my sleeve. Out of the blue about a month ago I had what I thought was the flu, didn't throw up but had bad nausea and intestinal pain. Then I went to urgent care and they said I was dehydrated and gave me Zofran. I thought I was doing better. I was at work and had excruciating pain in the top right of my abdomen. And then it stopped. The next day I was so tired. Had brain fog. Could only eat soft bland food, lots of intestinal pain. I went to the ER 8 days ago and they said that I had a hiatal hernia and gave me more Zofran and bentl. And they just said to follow up with the gastroenterology department. They did a CT and found a teratoma on my ovary and my main dr said that that is what is making me so sick. I went to the gyn yesterday and he said no way this thing is making you so sick and said I should get a vaginal ultrasound which I can't get for three weeks. I had to apply for short term disability which isn't going to pay the bills. My main dr said to get in with the GI department and they sent in a referral. I don't live in the same city where I had my surgery. I'm wondering if anyone has had symptoms like this so far after surgery? If I eat or drink anything that is spicy or acidic or has a lot of fat or fiber it hurts so bad. My whole abdomen feels swollen. Even when I eat soft foods it hurts my whole abdomen. I'm fatigued, I have brain fog, I have a headache every day, it hurts to bend over to pick something up. I cry almost every day because I can't do anything and there are no answers. Maybe I should try to get into a bariatric practice here?

Sorry you're having such a hard time. If you do have a hiatal hernia, that could account for the pain you're having? I think the critical thing is how quickly you can get in to see someone because if you have a hiatal hernia and it's causing you this much pain, it's probably going to require surgery to address it. That said, it's important to go through the process of differential diagnosis to rule out other causes. Gastroenterologist are well positioned to help you through the process regardless of what the issue is. On the other hand, a bariatric surgeon may also be able to accurately diagnose the issue and potentially even do the surgery, whereas a gastro will typically refer you out to a general or thoracic surgeon. It's a tough call, honestly. I think your instinct to seek out a bariatric center is a good one and the best course of action is to go down both paths for now until you know for sure what's going on and have a treatment plan in place.

Maple garlic glazed salmon, mixed vegetables and mashed potatoes

Homemade white bread loaves

Ooooooo very very cute 🥰

I appreciate your post, its an opportunity to understand human nature and the constant struggles we have fighting the basic life requirement to eat. That being said, I would like to ask fellow forum members the following questions if they too have had/have their other half going down the same paths... seeing your wife having weight/health issues and what others do/say/handle that situation. My husband eats like a 12 year old boy. He knows it, he told his doctor the same thing (his doctor laughed and said he eats the same way). His BMI (I know its not a great metric but its the easiest and most ppl understand it) is 29.98. I've explained obese is 30.00. He says he gets "plenty of exercise" because he walks 12 miles a day, which he does (mail carrier). I say that's moving NOT exercise since its nothing more than a long stroll, not getting his heart rate up. So, my question like what Spartan says how do you help someone see the light? Yes, I realize its like everything else each person has to come to the realization on their own, but how can we help the process along, after all time doesn't stand still and no one is getting younger. I try to get him to eat the meals I prepare, but its not what he "likes": cereals, processed foods i.e. hot dogs, fast food, candy and soda. He has tried dieting, it lasts less than a day or he only "eats a half bowl of sugary cereal until I point out that a serving is 1/4 cup and his half a bowl is 4 servings...etc. What have you tried, done said etc., on your journey to bring your other half kicking and screaming into a healthier lifestyle that worked? I don't want anger or alienate my husband, but do you just stand back and continue to let someone you love keep pulling the trigger?

Thank you! I think they are little flowers...I need to check! 🤣

Mediterranean lamb with veggies and salad.. yummy!

Today's fit 🖤