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So my surgeon, who replaced my band, and his wife, who does my fills, can't agree. When I went in to see him for the first time, I'd been successfully maintaining for 3 years and then lost restriction with a leak. My BMI was just under 23. And that's what he's recorded it as. My BMI just a smidge over 24. He thinks I need to be a bit tighter so I can get back down to my pre-leak weight. His wife, however, thinks I am perfect the way I am now. What IS someone's ideal weight? Because even my care-givers can't agree. I personally think it's when I look in the mirror and am happy with me. And I'm happy with me now more than I ever have been. We're talking about mere lbs here but somehow the number on the scale is still king and I'm sick of it. I decided at my last appt that no, I don't want to lose anymore. I told them that we will work at getting a fill level that will provide maintenance for me. Not weight loss. Because in the end, *I* decide what I'm happy with, and happiness in myself doesn't come from a number on the scale. So no green zone, no regular fills, no jumping on the scales everyday. My band is working, I can feel it. Maybe not at optimal performance but good enough to help me maintain. So my scale can abdicate now, thank you very much, it is no longer the king of me.

So heres the thing, I have been a "big boned girl" my whole life. Im 6'1 so people always said " you're not fat you're big boned" My answer was always "Thanks, but bones don't jiggle" So now I've decided its time to do something about it. Lord knows I've tried before and failed so I did my research and came upon the sleeve. I zipped trought the pre cert quickly Tolerated the fluid diet for 2 weeks (minus 1 weak moment when I would've sold my kidney for a cheeseburger) and had the surgery 4 days ago. Doing well Spent 1 day in hospital. Have my 5 little glued incisions on my belly Am a little bruised here and there but all and all doing well. Worse thing that happened so far is the gas. But a little chewable Simithecone and I've burped and farted my way to a happier me. Fingers crossed only good things to follow Have my first follow up with my doctor Tuesday. Curious for the weight in. Friends tell me I've lost weight, I haven't noticed. Fat girl brain!

I agree with you, at the end of the day you have to stay at the weight you are most comfortable with. You have to decide what your ideal weight is right now. That's not to say it won't change in the future, up or down, all you can do is go with what feels right today. It's funny because my doctor was "satisfied" with my weight loss 25 pounds ago. He thought losing 200 pounds was "more than he could've hoped for". I, however, was nowhere near satisfied. I won't be satisfied until my BMI is well out of the obese range- so I set my goal weight a good 60 pounds less than the one he set for me. Once I get down to that point, I highly suspect I'll lower it even more. We'll see.

i couldnt agree more... my goal weight by the doctors charts (are something i dont think i can ever get to) and i am not saying that to sound b***h** but its true..for my height, it is what i weighed when i was in my mom's stomach when she was pregnant...i told my surgeon, the number i want to get to is me being healthy, mobile and something i can get to and stay with (and maintain happily)......i believe that the band/plication will help me with that part.... i recall sitting in his office and him asking what did i want to weigh at the time he said it, i was well over 300+ and i said i'd like to get to 299....and then 289 etc......and he laughed......and then i said eventually, i'd love to see 199.....and if i got there, i am okay with that....he said it is technically (obese still) but i said its something i can get too and right now that is all i care about..... i am not a hooked on number person i dont own a scale and use the clothes i have (or now have to buy all the time) as my guide....call me strange, but it works for me... so do i have a number in mind after all this rambling, well yeah but right now, i just want to see 199 make an appearance . GREAT post lellow GREAT comment missy

I did that Missy, I got to my goal weight where my BMI was 27 and I wasn't happy either.Got to a BMI of 25, and nope, still not happy. So I kept losing, looking for that elusive point where I was happy with what I saw. I realise now I was not ever going to be happy because I always saw my imperfections, and thought I could lose weight and they'd disappear. I now am more accepting of my imperfections and accept that they make me who I am, and that's beautiful too. I think losing and then gaining has actually turned out to be a godsend for me, because I can see myself more realistically now. Before the leak, I'd stay on or around a BMI of 23 only because my dr threatened to unfill me if I lost anymore. Now it's a more natural decision. I like what I see. That's never really happened for me before.

Nwww happy birthday, my friend. And you know what I think: that at 45, you are still one of the most beautiful women I know. And you have a rockingest bikini body! But I understand the insecurity about it, because I've been there. It's taking that first step, put on that bikini and step out onto that sand, and I promise you, no one is going to laugh at you. In fact, they're going to think you're beautiful, just as much as I do!

It is weird to me that the MD's ask or tell what the goal weight is when having the lap band... I understand why they do it since I am in healthcare, but that goal number is so overwhelming to me. My MD just said when you get to the weight that you can maintain and are comfortable then you have hit your goal! I am more comfortable with that thought process, although I still weigh myself once a week since it is the way that I judge if I need a fill along with the way I feel with my eating. You lose until you are comfortable with you which I believe is a struggle since we always tend to believe that we are "big" and see all our flaws. You got this girl!

You look great! Best of luck!

Wow, you look amazing.

The chest pain is a sign that some foods don't want to go down so well, so be cautious and extremely mindful when eating them. I have found as my band was tightened that eggs tended to disagree with me, although I can eat them sometimes- something with the consistency doesn't allow me to chew as well as I need to so that they go down properly. I also found that breads can be iffy. If the bread is toasted or thin, it works better, but super soft breads or thick breads end up gumming together in my pouch and cause unnecessary pains. Another tip I was told from my nutritionist was to time meals for 20 minutes and when the 20 minutes is up, stop eating.