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SOOOOOOOOOOO got on the scale today...... *DRUM ROLL* DOWN 2 LBS SINCE LAST WEIGH IN!!!!!! A small victory...but a victory none the less. My legs are jelly, apparently I have muscles in my butt that I never knew where there....We have become friends now lol. Totally in pain, but totally worth it! Sorry...had to toot my own horn lol.

You are on way. Your first step ... admitting it, and you did that. Congrats. I too can relate. Got off track Food was there to pick me up -BUT, I could not eat the way I wanted to during that low state (thank goodness) because SLEEVE wouldn't let me. I'm 8 weeks post op.Once I faced what was going on and why, things turned around for the better. It does happen to us all. That's why we got each other. You are not alone.

"So, today is the day I continue on my journey. I have moved over the hurdle and I will continue to follow the plan. I won't allow food to overtake my life again. I was so unhappy before surgery, and I never want to feel like that again." You should be really proud of yourself for many reasons but primarily that you recognized you where having an issue and you are dealing with it. Thats really all any of us can do. Your blog is one of the first I read when I started this and I love your inspirational messages and your honesty. No one said this was going to be a walk in the park but you have to make it the best journey that you can. Keep up the great work!!!! Hugs!

I have a few questions that I am hoping may help you.... 1. If you were to lose 15 pounds every couple of months - and KNEW that you were going to lose that amount....would it assist you in feeling less anxious? For me, it would....but I would want to be encouraged to know that was certainly going to happen with all of my hard work. 2. Do you know exactly how many calories you are consuming? And if you do - do you think you will be satisfied with less upon receiving additional fills in the future? 3. Do you think that if you had chosen to do this without the band - that there would be a higher likelihood of gaining it back. (I've lost hundreds of pounds and always gained them back....and more) I'm hoping the band will assist with this for me. My heart aches for you that you are discouraged And I, too, am a self pay ($17K) and am extremely hopeful this is a tool that is going to work for me....when everything else has not. I've lost over 50 pounds on my own....and I am expecting the band to help me to continue and to keep it off this time. On a very positive note - your numbers sound hopeful to me (15 pounds in 2 months) - and if you are exercising....perhaps you are building muscle too! Have you measured yourself? Maybe that would make you feel less discouraged? I'm sending you some good energy....and if I can be of any help (I'm a newbie....but a really good listener!) feel free to let me know! Here for you, Lisa

Doctors have to be careful of malpractice law suits. But as long as she is documenting it to prove you need the band removed and to be sleeved then you're on the right road. I remember my doctor had to go through a series of testing before she could "recommend" that a hysterectomy was the best for me when it was what I wanted all along. She heard me, but could not come right out and agree and book the surgery. I think insurance requires them to follow certain guidelines. Isn't it a hoot that insurance companies dictate your health care and not your doctor? <sarcasm here>

Its been 5 months and 63 pounds ago that I was sleeved. After my first couple of weeks of being sleeved I couldn't see THIS happening, I thought I would never get here. Here for me is just about at goal. I'm currently 189 pounds, and I guess I will settle at 185 just because I think 185 sounds better than 189. When I started this journey I had no idea of what my goal weight was. The experts suggest that someone of my height and age should weigh somewhere around 150; if I went down to 150 i would definitely look like a q-tip. I'm very happy and comfortable where I am now. I am able to fit into a size 10, which blows my mind because I started this journey wearing a size 22. I'm finally accepting my new size. Early on I was having a hard time visualizing myself in this thinner body. I was struggling when I went clothes shopping because all I've known for the past 25 years is plus sized clothing. when I finally realized that I had to shop in the "regular" sized stores, I was so intimidated and unsure of myself (weird right?). I would wear clothing and everyone would rant and rave about how thin I looked and even though I would see myself in the mirror, the change wasn't as significant to me as it was to everyone else. A couple of weeks ago I went to a beauty pageant with a friend of mine and she asked me to wear something short because she wanted to wear a cute short dress that she recently purchased. I agreed. I had to run to a store and purchase a short dress because frankly I've always felt like I was too big for short dresses and didnt have one. I ended up buying a cute black dress with a nude lace overlay that was slightly form fitting and stopped right above my knee. I tried it on and could not believe how great I looked. no girdle, no spanx, just me. I had a tiny belly bulge, but hey, i've got four kids, I'm entitled to it! I wore that dress that evening with my 5 inch pumps and looked like a freakin supermodel (well I felt like one anyway!) My husband, kids, and girlfriend couldn't stop telling me how great I looked, and I was finally able to agree with them. My AHA moment! This surgery has done so much for me. I'm no longer gorging, and even when I have the desire too, I just can't because I'm sleeved. I sometimes get cravings for super sweet junk food that's no good for me, and when I try to indulge, my craving is usually curbed after the first or second bite, because I'm sleeved. My health concerns regarding diabetes and high blood pressure have eased because I'm so much healthier and even going to the gym. All because I'm sleeved! My issues with self esteem and confidence have been taken care of...yes, because of my sleeve. I know that every now and then I will doubt myself, but I promise you it won't be as much as it was before my sleeve. I'm eager to live and try new things - the things I wouldn't do before because I thought I was too fat and didnt want to bring attention to myself. My relationship with my hubby has rekindled as well. We were ok before I was sleeved as he has been nothing but supportive and caring through our 10 years together, but now that I'm more confident, I'm willing to do more and try new things with him (get your minds out of the gutter). I'm more anxious to go out of the house and just see what life has out there to offer. It's a great feeling. I'm over the moon and under 200 lbs!