So my surgery is in 2 days and the only thing I keep thinking about is if im gonna fail at this or not. I think I just have such high expectations for myself that it's getting in my way. I have so much weight to lose and its overwhelming at times, know what I mean? I want to wear a size 12 but im a size 26 and that's a long way to go. Im excited im making this decision to have WLS but it's a long road ahead. I pray my body goes along with it all and just starts losing but I realize that I have to make the right food choices as well and get off my butt and workout again. Im gonna have to take it one day at a time and set little mini goals for myself. A lot of my friends and family know about this surgery and I feel like I have to prove to them all that it was the right decision and that It does work....a lot of pressure! I got this!
I started this journey last year and one of the greatest motivators was " I want to be living a different life when I turn 30".
Well here I am a week into my 30s :-) and that is exactly what I have done. I've attached a picture. I am now 80 lbs down (7 months post op today). Wearing a size 12 and I've had to change everything in my wardrobe even my shoes!
I hope I can reach 100 lbs by my one year as I know that the last will be the hardest to loose and want to let my body adjust to this massive change; but I am up for the challenge!!
I went through my fare share of complications and there are still some difficult days, but this is a journey and totally worth it, at least it has been for me. Nonetheless, I have worked really really hard and I have focused my attention and determination in finding success. Of course there are days where I could eat better or make better choices, but its keeping yourself consistent. We chose to change our lives, so this is not a temporary fix or something you can take back. When I find myself reverting to old food habits I check myself, because i refuse to throw away this wonderful life opportunity.
I also had an "aha" moment when all of I sudden I found myself 9am Sunday morning already dripping in sweat after running 5 miles. A few months ago there was no way I would have either been up that early or that my first waking thought would be "oh lets go for a run". Now I look forward to my workouts and even miss them when life/work interferes.
This change has inspired everyone in my life. I started a fitness challenge with my work collegues and our group has lost over 50 lbs in the past few weeks.
Keep it up everyone, its totally worth it!!!!
I had a difficult weekend. I've been stressing over a work deadline for the last week or two, but things are really coming to a head. In fact, I'm beginning to hear that whooshing sound a deadline makes as it goes shooting by me. It won't be the end of the world, as it's mainly a self imposed date, but I'm still frustrated with myself that I haven't been able to make it, so the stress is building. In the past, stress for me has always equalled overeating, so my head hunger has just been rising and rising lately.
Yesterday, it got the best of me. I ate and drank way too many calories. Admittedly not as many as I could have, but still way more than I needed. Knowing that bad news at this point would only make me that much more likely to want to quit, I deliberately did not do my weekly weigh in this morning. I do that every morning right after I get up, after I've gone to the bathroom but before I put on clothes, and I record the result of each Monday's scale readout. Today, I officially took the day off. Of course, I couldn't stay completely off the scale, but I waited a couple of hours and weighed myself with clothes on. That way, I can pretend the number is inaccurate. Of course, the number was up so I started to get down on myself,
Then, I realized something. I hadn't taken any measurements of myself in just over a month. Out came the tape measure. I don't take a ton of measurements, just three that are recorded in MFP, but I'm still really glad I remembered to do this. I've lost 3.3 inches! Knowing that was like a huge weight (no pun intended) lifted off my shoulders, because it means that what I'm doing is really making a noticeable difference. The numbers on the scale can get kind of abstract because they move up and down so easily and are influenced by so many things, like salt and water and TOM, that sometimes it doesn't feel like those losses are real. The ones on the measuring tape, though, those can't be disputed.
I really needed the good news today. It helped me to get my head back on straight so that I can take a deep breath and get back to work, both professionally and with my band. I know this journey won't be quick and it won't be easy, but sometimes a reminder really helps. Once a month measurements, which I had planned to do all along, gave me that reminder today, and boy, I needed that!
I have been on the liquid Pre- OP diet now since the 8th and I have seen great progress, but...Im also having horrible temptations!! I have a family to cook for and its soo hard to not eat solids...I keep thinking oh maybe if its healthy It wont matter..and maybe it wont but I don't want to cheat myself. Its such a struggle and I know its just the beginning...I definitely want this weight loss more then food...I just have to get my stomach and brain to agree with me on that !!!
Today is my MIL's 90th birthday party, at a Chinese restaurant. Almost every one at the party has not seen me for over 6 months. Nervous does not explain my feelings. I know I am being crazy, but I feel like everyone will look at me and judge what little food I will be putting on my plate. My children and oldest brother have seen me eat and say nothing, it's all the others and they don't know about my new friend, The Band! There is an open bar, I don't drink, even before the band, so that is fine. I have not said anything to anyone even the hub about this. He would tell me I am crazy.
Thank you for listening.
Enjoy your day.
The Red Sox are winning right now!!!!!!!!!!!! go SOX.
By this time tomorrow I should be out of surgery or darn close to it. I'm scared senseless & hoping the clock goes slowly today. I know the surgery is fairly safe & my dr has a good record but I'm still mostly scared about the surgery itself. I'm sure I'll have issues following surgery but I'm not worrying about those right now. I'll have to deal with them because there's no other choice. I just want to make sure I see my babies grow up.
I hate baggy clothes, and wearing my size 40 jeans made me feel sloppy. I am currently wearing 38"comfortably, but I decided to try on 36" when I went shopping. Here are the results:
Now this is uncharted territory, but I am more than happy to keep on exploring. Going where Terry has never gone before. Band, warp 9!
It has been 5 weeks post op and so far I am feeling OK. I see lots of folks who say they now have tons of energy and feel great. I feel OK but my energy level is still low with a few periods of a little more energy during the day. I just need to know am I being too hard on myself? I am not sure.
I get between 60 to 70 grams of protein a day and on most days I do get 64oz of water. Yet, I still feel that I do not have enough energy. I am still on protein shakes and have started on yogurt, swiss cheese, scrambled eggs (once in a while not everyday). I have been avoiding vegtables and fruits and I have been told not to heat any bread or ceral. I am taking all my vitamins that have been given to me by my nutritionist. Is there anyone else having the same issues? I am trying to wene myself off of protein shakes but maybe it is still too soon. Does anyone have any thoughts that could help me? Thank you
OMG only 4 days left, im so nervous and yet excited. I cut my hair short today to get myself pumped for change!!! All the hard work of getting approved by insurance is finally done! I have all my liquid stuff ready to go and got my hotel booked. I just cant believe its next week, ive been counting down the days. I know this is a tool and its not going to cure this overnight but im ready to finally take care of myself for a change and do something for me! Its a long journey ahead of me but im more than ready and cant wait to post my "after" picture someday!!! TIme for me now!!!
Hi all...I am almost 5 weeks post op! Wow the time has flown by!
Sorry I have not been on here in a while giving an update or posting about something I have kinda been in what some people call a "stall" for the past two weeks. Kinda puts a damper on things. The first week I was really pretty ok with it. I had just lost 40lb in 2 months and was just stoked to start seeing the changes in my body and in my attitude/personality. Then by the 2nd week it just started to get depressing, I even gained 1 pound... I started getting a little mad and was trying to figure out how to amp up my loss again.
I had just started adding solid foods back into my diet but I was not getting over 600-700 cal a day. (which I thought was good) I was having a little bit of a hard time with my protein and liquid intake. So I figured that must be the problem. Last Tuesday I had my first WLS support group meeting with my supper awesome friend Tina. By some amazing divine appointment God had them focusing on PROTEIN! She had a ton of samples to try from different products and gave us a bunch of ideas on how to add bits of protein to our diets through out the day. Apparently just about everyone in the group had been struggling with some kind of stall recently and so that was the topic of focus! How perfect for me
And because I know how common it is for us new VSG'ers to have a hard time with proper protein levels I thought I would share what I learned, my new favorite products, and a few new ideas on how to use protein.
First, my new best friend is "Big Train". I have always loved this brand but had no idea that they had a bariatric friendly line of protein powders. So now I can have my love of coffee and drink it too I do live in Seattle... Its almost against the law to not like coffee over here... lol
Here is the link for the Big Train drinks. I love them! The cool thing is, I can not taste the protein in them at all! I have tried the vanilla and the espresso (both are fantastic) and have just ordered the sampler pac to try the rest before purchasing in bulk...
http://www.bigtrain.com/coffee-protein-drink-mix-powder-fit-frappe-c-143.aspx
My 2nd new brand of protein is Chike... I had never heard of this brand till my meeting this week. I tried the coffee flavor and again it was really good! I ordered the sample pac of this brand also. I really like being able to take a little packet of powder with me rather than mixing up a whole days worth at once. I need to find some kind of little container that holds one serving though, because it is so much cheaper to buy the tub rather than the packets... Anyway, here is the link for Chike.
http://www.chikenutrition.com/buy-chike.html
Third... I know most of you guys know about Unjury. But recently I have made a few friends who had never heard of it. For all of you newbies out there here is an awesome product! Unjury is said to be one of the best forms of protein. One of the best on the market. Its protein has really good absorption into the body. I have been told some of the cheaper proteins don't benefit the body as well as others. I totally get that, most food now a days dose not benefit the body at all so I am sure they cheat on this kind of stuff also...
Anyway, Unjury makes a "non-flavored" powder that you can put in just about anything from soup to pudding, to drinks. I have been adding it to my Crystal Light or Mio drinks. When you add it to a fruity drink it kinda turns it into a cream cycle taste. Not bad when it is giving you 20+ grams of protein in each scoop... I also put some strawberry lemon-aid into a vanilla powder and it was pretty good too..
http://www.unjury.com/store/protein/
I also found this website http://www.bariatricchoice.com/bariatric-protein-shakes-smoothies-drinks-12.html It looks like it has a ton of different high protein options including Nectar (which I have ordered the sample pack but have not tried yet) It might be a cool place to get some extra ideas from.
(And by the way I just started loosing weight again! I dropped 1 pound yesterday. I really believe its because I am drinking more and added more protein)
So, to give you an idea on how I get my protein and liquids in...
In the morning I start out with either a mixed fruit and veggie shake with a scoop of Unjury in it.
Or, I have a coffee drink with either the Big Train or the Chike. Rite there in that morning drink I have just got 20 grams of protein in...
As a snack I will have a cheese stick or cup of Greek yogurt. (6-12 g protein)
Then for lunch I make sure to have some kind of meat, eggs or cheese. All of which are low in carbs. (remember we like low carbs
During the day I will have a "snack" by putting one scoop of protein powder in with a beverage. There is another 20 grams.
For dinner I have been trying to get in some veggies with my meat. So weather I have 1/2 a hamburger patty or a few ounces of fish, I try to get in either salad or another green vegetable.
If I work it good like that, I am over 70 grams of protein. Plus the shakes alone have given me about 30 ounces of water so I only have to concentrate on another 30 through out the day.
To tell you the truth, its the liquids I am still having trouble with. It is really hard to drink that much through out the day. But I am trying...
I hope I was able to help some of you guys...
I know I was really struggling with ideas on how to get enough every day...
Good luck to you all! And let me know what you think of my ideas. Also, If any of you have some products or mix ideas for me please let me know! I am always looking for something new to try.
Later all!!! "HUGS"
Amber
I start my 2 week liquid pre-op diet on Thursday. I'm going to sort of ease myself into the liquid diet starting today. I had a strawberry body fortress shake instead of eggs and meatless sausage for breakfast. (I made mine with unsweetened almond milk and a splash of vanilla creamer - the creamer makes it SO MUCH BETTER), I'm having yogurt and maybe a cheese stick for lunch. And I have some Gardein Turk'y that I'll have for dinner with some asparagus. Then a shake if I'm hungry later.
Since I started my journey, I have been focused on what I had to do to get approved for surgery, not what I had to do to get prepared for surgery. Some of these things go hand in hand - like changing your eating habits, losing a bit of weight, increasing exercise - but I have definitely not focused much on the emotional journey I'm about to go on. I've been more focused on the physical journey and the financial one.
As a result, I had the tiniest of meltdowns at Walmart last night. I was doing "post op prep shopping" and it was like everything I picked up led me to unpleasant thoughts about what I'll be dealing with in just a matter of weeks. It started when I was at home and went online to make purchases from various sites for vitamins, supplements, protein powders, storage containers, etc. I mean, I spent nearly $200 right there simply because I'm definitely a sucker for "buy more, save more" specials. Even though I had a pretty long list going into the store, something about seeing these things pile up was just... overwhelming for about 22 seconds. I spend a good 45 minutes in the "Health" area - picking out gauze, tape, bandaids, ointment, lotions and a lot of other things like Milk of Magnesia, liquid Imodium, fiber gummies, Gas-X strips... just so much stuff. Just in case kinda stuff that I've seen over and over again in these forums that people need. And it's taking me a long time to get these things because I don't use any of these things now. I have a first aid kit that barely gets used... I don't currently get constipated, I don't get gassy, I don't get reflux, I don't get diarrhea... but I'm about to do something to myself, VOLUNTARILY, that will probably give me all of this and more, in combination with each other.
And yet, I read over and over that people suffer through this and don't regret a single thing because it got them to where they want to be.
So all of this went racing through my mind as I was in front of the fiber supplements (the last thing on my list for that section, the top shelf of the cart overflowing with all this stuff). No one was really around, so I sort of let myself go, for just a few seconds. I let out a deep breath and about 4 tears popped out of my eyes and I was done. I took another deep breath, wiped my tears, and picked out some fiber gummies.
Did I come this far to back out? No.
Do I want to stay where I'm at instead of having surgery? No.
So I'm ready to face the emotions. This pre-op fear? Well, I'm as prepared as I can be. There's actually a lot of comfort in that. Expect the best, fear the worst. That fear is making sure I'm darn prepared so I don't have to bother going out and getting what I need when I'm already in trouble!
Things are only going to get better... and better...
At least for a little while. Went out to breakfast with a friend, ordered off of the menu with no substitutions (scrambled eggs with veggies and feta), enjoyed a nice conversation, took small bites, ate slowly, sipped my coffee a couple of times and when I was no longer hungry piled my plates up and pushed them away. I ate about 2/3 of my eggs, 1/4 of my potatoes and half a slice of dry toast. AND I WAS FINE WITH THAT!
Now, that wasn't say that the head hunger voices weren't screaming in the background about wasting food, about how good it tasted, about taking just one more bite. They weren't as loud as they usually are, I just checked and made sure that I wasn't hungry (Satiated), and dismissed them.
There is hope...
So I had 4 appointments yesterday...3 revolving around my sleeve and the other one was my dentist. My appointments were with my nutritionist, fitness trainer (part of my weight loss program), and my sleep specialist.
Good news is I weighed in at 257 pounds! I don't have any complications and it seems I might be able to stop taking my nexium.
Bad news is my premier protein shakes that I have had to drink twice a day have been staining my teeth! Ugh. So I guess I am going to have to switch from my chocolate version to a lighter color when I'm done with the 3 boxes I just bought from costco.
My nutritionist appointment went fairly well. She doesn't have any real concerns. I learned that I have, once again, not been getting enough calories in. I average around 600 calories a day. According to her, others at this stage are already up to 1000 calories. I was concerned and asked her if this is going to affect my metabolism because it has been 3 months, basically, since my body has been in a severe calorie deficit. She recommended that I try real hard to get my calories close to 1000, but no more than 1200 so I don't hit stalls etc.
I think if I could manage to eat that many calories, then I would lose weight more consistently and hit less stalls.
My other appointment with my fitness trainer went well. She was impressed and very supportive about all the steps I am taking to be more active. I expressed a little disappointment with how "slow" my weight loss has been considering all the effort I put in and the first thing she asked me was, "are you getting enough calories?"
So, right now, my calories are my main focus. I don't think I am a slow loser, but I think the weight should be coming off quicker considering my age, bmi, and activity level. I have always, in the past, lost weight fairly quickly so I feel something is just a little bit off.
I am putting every effort into eating more calories. This is a daily struggle for me. I feel the only time I can manage upwards of 800 calories is if I eat slider foods, fried foods, or high sugar foods...all of which I want to try and avoid. I am still figuring all this out and am extremely frustrated!!! I never would have thought that I would be frustrated because I am having difficulty getting enough food!!!
I want to do everything I can to keep the weight coming off at a consistent pace with no stalls. The only issue right now is that I am not eating enough calories to support my intense workouts.
Yesterday, I tried real hard. I basically ate from the time I woke up until I went to bed. As soon as I could eat something...I did. I even let my husband take me to Ruby Tuesday's thinking this could help up my calories. At the end of the day, I did reach 1200 calories, but I felt crappy and overly full. I actually felt extremely tired like I was going to pass out...I think from eating too much. I don't like how I felt yesterday!
Today, I wasn't hungry ALL DAY. I drank most of my meals. So I am sort of at a loss. If I stuff myself just to get my calories in, but am not hungry the whole next day, then what?
All in all, I don't want to stuff myself. I want to just eat normally when I'm hungry. I guess I just need to find higher calorie foods or make them. I am extremely dedicated in upping my calories because I truly feel that my weight loss will be better and more consistent.
Oh and I am definitely losing some hair. No one can tell, but me because I have soooo much hair! My brush has extra hair in it, my rubberbands, and the hair catcher has extra hair. I hope it doesn't get too bad, but it was still worth getting my sleeve.
...the kind in the old saying: swimming serenely on the surface and paddling like a lunatic underneath.
Actually, I've been doing fairly well ever since I got back on board with my band (3/8). The additional fills have made a difference and at 9.25cc, I've decided to consider myself I the green zone. I stay not hungry for about 4 hrs after a meal. I never experience stuck episodes or PBs, thank goodness, but I am a pretty conscientious chewer, which is good because my bite size varies depending on the texture of the food I'm eating. I make sure to get my minimum 50g of protein per day and I keep track of my calories, but other than that I don't stress abut counting anything else (fat or carbs). I still eat "bad" foods occasionally (like chips) but only in moderation, in premeasured servings, and I always count the calories and try to make sure that at the end of the week I average out around 1200 calories per day. I can eat bread, rice, pasta, asparagus, steak ... there is nothing I have ever tried to eat that I was unable to eat. I also don't ever feel like my band "stops" me from eating. My portions are usually 1 cup at a time, sometimes 1.5 cups, but I never feel stuffed after eating or that my band is telling me to stop. My mind tells me to stop because it remembers the rules given to me by my doctor.
In reality, I'm learning to be okay with that. Part of me wonders if I'm missing some vital part of the bandster experience by not having a band that bosses me around, but I think this way is honestly probably less painful. I also hope that it is teaching me more than if I had a vocal band. This way, I know that what I'm doing is a choice and since I'm going to have to do this for the rest of my life if I want to lose and maintain a loss, getting into the habit of choosing right is probably a good thing in the long term. Sure, there are times when I wish I was one of those people whose band made them forget about food completely. When I read about someone who never has cravings any more, or who forgets to eat, or who loses interest in food--even really yummy food--after a few bites, I wish that were me, but I'm doing okay with the me I've got, so I get over it.
The bottom line is that I am losing weight. Not huge quantities and not as fast as I would like, but since I would LIKE to be losing 10lbs per week, I'm focusing on being realistic instead. My 1-2 lb per week loss (really does usually fall around 1.5!) is exactly on track. All I need to do is to remember to stay the course and I will get where I want to be eventually. Better to get there slowly than to stay where I am.
So, like the duck, I just keep paddling.
Well, it had been a good 24 hours!!!
1. Yesterday I found out that my revision surgery will be on June 10th!!! (Bye- bye to this broken lap-band!)
2. I tried a sample of the Chike protein iced coffee. DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!
What a way to start the weekend!!!!!!!!!!
To make a long story short. I had lapband in 2008, lost 90 lbs within a year and now have gained back 30 lbs. The band is no longer working for me. If I get a fill, I have problems, no fill= I eat more. I checked with my insurance, they cover WLS but only 50% after my deductible has been met, which it has. I've had my consult and he order my EDG, motility study and gallbladder ultrasound. Everything came back good for sleeve revision versus RNY. My insurance will not require me to go through the 6 month diet history and psych eval, etc because I am seeking revision. The problem is getting through to my advocate. I did not go to seminar again and for some reason, getting through to my coordinator/advocate has been an issue. I have let two messages but no return phone call. The good thing is I have an appointment scheduled with the nutritionist (scheduled prior to finding about no diet history needed). The nutritionist is in the same office as the advocate, so hopefully I can get some questions answered and tell her what the insurance company said. The only thing is I have a real good medical necessity letter. I will just pray they give me a good one and I am approved. I meet the requirements (BMI over 35 with 1 problem- joint issues plus I now have an auto-immune disease which was diagnosed last year. From what I've read, the lapband does not work well for that type of disease. It's just depressing to think about getting back up to 278 and my highest ever was 321. Currently, I weigh 221 which is depressing enough. I can not wear any of my clothes and it has been rough. I never thought I would be need my size 18 and 20s again but I do and I do not have them. I gave them all away making a vow to myself not to ever get that size again. But the lapband only worked for me for a few years. It would be nice to have surgery by June... We shall see. If I do not get a return call from my coordinator before my appointment with the nutritionist, I will get my questions answered then,
Moving right along! Went and got my EKG, chest X-ray, and h.pylori tests done yesterday. The offices were right across the hall from each other, so Efficient Me got in and out in 45 minutes (don't tell my work! I took the whole afternoon off!)
All 3 tests were uneventful. The chest xray involved stripping from the waist up and wearing a stylish paper gown. The guy tech was a cutie! One pic while I faced a white board, and one pic while I faced the side with my arms up.
The EKG -- remove shirt only, kept bra on. Before hand, the female tech asked "are you wearing a regular bra?" and I said yes, so she said ok to leave it on. But I can't help but wonder what is a not regular bra inasmuch as what kind of bra would I be wearing if it wasn't ok to leave it on? LOL. But I digress......she had me lie on a table (too short! My toes were on a cart at the end of the table!) and then she stuck stickers all over my front. Then she attached these wires with clampy-things to each of the stickers. Then she asked me to lay still and breathe deeply for like a minute, maybe two. Then she unhooked the wires, peeled of the stickers, and I was good to go. Then I went and got my blood drawn for h. pylori and my thyroid panel. Yes! Moving right along!
Also am beginning to figure out accommodations and car while we are on Oahu for the week around surgery. And lining up sending my dog to "camp" for that week
My RN emailed me to ask if I've gone to any of the local support group meetings.....I have to say that I've decided NOT to go. Several reasons. I live on an island, and it is a very small-town atmosphere. I have chosen not to shout from the rooftops about my surgery. I have a friend/ coworker who had WLS several years ago, and she is excellent support for me. Additionally, she went to the support group meeting -- once --- and someone there, who clearly didn't value privacy the way my friend does, went and told a bunch of my friend's in-laws who she had chosen not to tell. Then she was bombarded with phone calls. Not cool. VST has been and will be, I believe, just the right amount of support for me with a greater collection of people experienced with the sleeve than what I could find here in an in-person meeting. Diversity rocks, ya? And... I know myself well enough to know that if I get into an in-person support group environment, I could easily try to help everyone but myself. Denial is easier with distractions! Yes, I think VST is just the right amount of support giving and receiving..... at least for now. I would never say never, but this is how it seems best to me for now....
So I started having increasing right side pains that would come and go. Didn't really pay much attention to it until getting ready for bed a few nights ago I was struck with such intense pain I was crying like a baby. It went from my right side to my chest to between my shoulder blades. I'm not a fan of my local ER the best one and the one my wls surgeon is at is 25 miles away (30mins if traffic is good) but I was willing to go local. My first thought was "omg ill feel better if I throw up!" We'll that didn't take long for that to happen but since I hadn't eaten in about 2 hrs I just dry heaved (ouch!) as soon as I convenced my husband lets go I'm dying it disappeared! So he then thought I was crazy. Called my doctor in the morning and a few test later my gallbladder is the culprit. Now yes it was an option to remove with wls surgery but my stupid ins wouldn't cover it because there wasn't a problem with it so now I have to have it out their paying. So Monday it is and I'm so ready because these sporadic attacks hurt!
I have been out all day and saw much earlier or yesterday a question about hair loss. At my monthly support group tonight was the rep from Bariatric Advantage. Her name is, Pat, I think. Pat had bypass surgery 10 years ago. She still looks great. About 4 years ago she started to lose her hair. She had a blood test and her Ferritin showed up very low, around 2 and she said it should be around 40ish. She had to have some medical things done to her but her hair is very healthy now. So she said if you have hair loss get tested for this Ferritin. She also said you have to keep up with your annual blood work because people that have WLS do lose some vitamins and minerals and don't know it.
Have a great evening everyone.
Arlene
I'm literally almost crying reading this. Mostly because I'mon this pre-op diet and these last two days have been difficult... but also because I needed this! Thank you! Congrats! And a BIG congrats on quitting smoking a second time! It was hard enough to do it once... So - when I say BIG congrats... I mean BIIIIIG congrats! ❤️
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