Due to the timing of my surgery (day before T-giving), DH and I decided to tell his mom. I didn't want to, but we really need her help with the kids. And since we won't really be doing anything for T-giving, it was going to be obvious.

He told her - I don't want to talk to her about it. She was actually pretty supportive...but also said she hoped I already had an appointment with a counselor so I could "understand how being thin was going to feel". I was already planning to see someone, but who is she to say I will *need* a counselor to understand how it feels to be thin? :drool:

Then a friend from out-of-town was supposed to be visiting the weekend before. I'll be on my pre-op liquid diet, so I told her. We are very close - I was just in her wedding - and we've done WW together many times. I need to lose in the neighborhood of 200 lbs, she needs to lose 30. She was shocked - "Wow, I'm surprised" was actually her response. Then she went on to tell me that she knows how I feel, because she stopped working out and gained 5 lbs in 2 months. And that she's never full. And blah blah blah...Never once did she say anything even close to "I'm happy for you"

or "I support you". It stung.

This is why I am not telling anyone else. My parents, DH, my MIL, and two friends now know. I don't expect people to jump up and down for me, but a "I support you and your decision to take control" would be nice.

Amy

You need to remember that you are doing this for you and don't need anybody to reinforce your decision to get healthy.

Don't have any expectations of anybody and you wont be disappointed. You already have your husbands support, why would you need support from anybody else?

Exactly. I don't *need* anyone else's support, but it would be nice to have the support of my good friends and family. But I obviously can't expect it.

Amy

In my tactless way this is what I am trying to tell you.

If you have expectations of people, they will let you down all the time.

You are doing the right thing and depending on your level of commitment you will see fantastic results.

If you need support, send me a message and I will be all over it!

Donna

I really believe that suppot is VERY important. My dr. had me sign a paper stating whether I did or didn't have adequate family support. I also decided to get professional one on one help for awhile to help the rough times. I also plan to attend the support group meetings that they have monthly. It is REALLY nice to get family and freinds to be there BUT when not PLEASE look elsewhere. I pray the best for you in your journey.

Sherry

Thanks, Donna!

It wasn't tactless. You are right. And that's what I was saying without saying. I had debated how many people to tell, and based on the reactions I got, it helped me to realize that my expectations and reality were going to differ and I don't need to be disappointed over that when I have a very supportive husband, a wonderfully supportive best friend (who's also stick-thin), and the best parents in the world who are paying for my surgery without any expectations, only hope for me. I don't NEED anyone else.

Congrats on your loss! I am always inspired when I come here and see such fantastic results.

Amy

Thanks for the post. I am not going to tell anyone else! I totally agree with you....and we have the same band date. The day before Thanksgiving is my date too! No turkey and stuffing for me this year!

Thanks, Donna!

It wasn't tactless. You are right. And that's what I was saying without saying. I had debated how many people to tell, and based on the reactions I got, it helped me to realize that my expectations and reality were going to differ and I don't need to be disappointed over that when I have a very supportive husband, a wonderfully supportive best friend (who's also stick-thin), and the best parents in the world who are paying for my surgery without any expectations, only hope for me. I don't NEED anyone else.

Congrats on your loss! I am always inspired when I come here and see such fantastic results.

Amy

You are very welcome!

The band works great when used properly. The more you exercise the quicker you will lose in my experience.

Work hard and you will see the rewards,

Donna

I also really limited who I told about the surgery. Support is not created equal, and not everyone knows how to be supportive. I need people that know, to be my cheerleaders, not making boneheaded comments.

Don't take it personally. I consider this people, "normal" when it comes to weight issues and food. They really have no idea what we have gone through in our lives because of food and being overweight.

I try to look at it like I would have no idea what it's like to be addicted gambling! I gamble sometimes, but when I lose more than $50, I'm done! I don't keep on gambling. When they have 2 cookies, they are "done". When I have 2 cookies, I'm just getting started. The old me anyway! I am just trying to say that they have no clue what we are going through. I had to literally ask my friends and family to be supportive of my decision no matter what they personally think. And so, so good. Good luck & blessings,

Michelle