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How do you deal with nosey people....



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I wasn't sure where to put this thread but I have a question....How do y'all comeback when someone asks you what you weigh? I can't believe how many people ask me that! They never asked me that before I got my band when I was so out of control but for some reason now they think they have a right to know what I weigh. I've mentioned it before that it embarrasses me to tell people how much weight I've already lost and still be this big so maybe that plays into it. They hear what I've lost and want to know what I weigh now. I just tell them I don't tell anyone what I weigh. But some keep on. A couple have even started playing the "let me guess your weight" game with me. I have to use all my strength not to want to punch their lights out...unless of course they guess a much lower weight than I am. ;-) I'm sure someone else on here has faced the same thing and hopefully can lend me some snappy comebacks!

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You weigh produce :)

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I tell them I haven't lost enough to discuss it yet and would appreciate it if they didn't ask again. If they should persist, I simply ask them what word did they not understand from what I said before? If that still doesn't stop them, I simply say that they're being offensive to me and I don't talk to people who offend me, then I walk away.

Not very snappy, but I try the polite route first and gradually build from there. Three strikes and you're out!

It's really ashame that people are so hung up on the numbers, including myself I have to admit. If it's not weight, it's age or money or how long you have done something wonderful, numbers all numbers, I hate them!!!!

Sorry, off on my own little issue here. Hope this helps, but no matter what, you keep your head high and know that you are a truly wonderful person at any age or at any weight!!! You are beautiful inside and out!!!!!

Cindy

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Another rude question--"How much did the surgery cost?" It took me by surprise a few times, but now I am going to say, "It cost as much as a small car." People are so nosey!

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I can be kind of a smarty so I can just say - 'enough' or ' ask my scale - it quit talking to me'. I'm tired right now of little size 4 people telling me that I don't need to lose any more - but its okay, I'm telling them to let my dr know since he doesn't agree....

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That is a rude question.

I would just look at them and say, nobody knows, not even my family. And leave it as that.

Then when they turn to leave, give em a good swift kick in the ass LOLOL !!! Just kidding folks :)

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Honestly, a friend of mine (and not a really close friend) had the lapband last year. I asked her EVERY SINGLE time I saw her how much she had lost...I was just genuinely happy, excited, and proud for her. I know the struggle it is to take off even 10lbs, more less 20, 30, 50, etc... Sometimes it will depend on who is asking those questions as to how you feel about it. I personally have decided not tell anyone. (at least until -30 or so, or whenever i feel successful enough to justify any criticism) I guess I would just politely say, "Hhmm, my weight has always been a personal issue. I still dont feel comfortable building a conversation around it." That should shut them up, and still sound polite, lol.

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Honestly, I don't know how I would respond to that :/ Luckily it hasn't happened to me, yet. I would probably say, "I dunno, I haven't weighed lately..."

I've had plenty of people ask how much I've lost and I'm more than happy to tell them, but I think my friends know better than to ask what I weigh LOL.

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I think it is a rude question also, goes right along with how much money do you make. I would kind of giggle and say, not even my husband knows because he doesn't. I don't tell anyone my weight. I am getting better at saying to people, that is personal business. I get so sick of nosey co workers, asking me things about reviews etc. I say it in a joking matter, like well it said confidential on the folder.

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I usually ask them something very personal back. I had some co-workers ask me "how much have you lost", I tell them 31lbs. Then they ask "well how much do you weigh now"? I then ask them how much do they make an hour and how much is their mortgage? They have the same stupid expression on their face that I have on mine...then they just walk off. Point taken!!! LOL Some people are just nosey! This particular co-worker is having marriage problems so I asked her is her husband still having that affair, she was pissed and said I was rude and I said that oh I'm sorry are you the only one allowed to be rude today! LOL

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I have to agree and say that is very rude, along with how much do you make and my ever so favorite.. are you pregnant?

Anyway, what I say is this... I got rid of my scale years ago, my Dr. weighs me in and I don't even want to know what I weigh, so he doesn't tell me, he just tells me how much I lost. It's all about losing inches anyway, isn't it? After all I'm losing fat and gaining muscle and we all know that muscle weighs more than fat, right?

People just stare at me and it's funny, because they just look at me with a stupid expression on their face. Sort of what I feel about their ignorant question.

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Another rude question--"How much did the surgery cost?" It took me by surprise a few times, but now I am going to say, "It cost as much as a small car." People are so nosey!
See...I ask that to bandsters all the time and never thought it was rude to ask.

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The few times in my life someone has been rude enough to ask how much I weighed I've usually answered fairly forcefully with something like, "You've GOT TO BE KIDDING. I'd just as soon slit my throat as answer that."

I can't imagine anyone daring to ask a second time.

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I never think those questions are rude either-I didnt want to answer those questions so didnt tell anyone but to me if you tell people you had it done then you are opening yourself up and putting yourself out there to be asked these questions.Its like thinking that someone asking you when you are due when your pregnant is rude-you put it out there so its bound to happen-live and learn I guess.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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