Had my first visit with the surgeon today and he advised me and my husband to go with gastric bypass despite the fact that we had already decided to go with the band. He said we would lose more weight with bypass and that the lap band was like using a tiny hammer to hit a big problem, it doesn't make much of a difference.

I had decided long ago never to get bypass because I've heard of so many people who got sick after bypass. I've looked at before and after photos and almost all of them just look sick to me. The doctor ultimately said it was my body and the decision was mine but he basically tried to convince me that most people do very well, most dont get sick, and the risks and complications are minimal. He also said that the proceedures doctors use have evolved and improved over even just over the last 5 years and it's much better now.

Now I'm all confused, frustrated, and upset because I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut my insides all up and not be able to reverse it if I get sick. I know of people who have been on their death beds off and on since they had bypass, and some who have died. I haven't heard of a lot of this with the band and all the before/after photos people look healthier after. But insurance will pay for all but maybe $500 for bypass but it will not cover over $5000 for the band. When you put me and my husband together that's $10,000 spent on bands and we don't have that kind of money so we're talking a lot of debt. $10,000 versus $1,000... amazing what an extra zero will do.

So confused. :sad: :confused:

A high BMI doesn't mean you need bypass. And I'm not being petulant either. Personality types and medical issues play into it more than starting weight. If you love sweets and can't give 'em up, for example, the dumping syndrome effect of bypass may be better for you, even if you "only" need to lose 80 pounds.

So research is good and asking your surgeon why is good. Higher BMI is NOT a good reason though. I'm glad you both are going to ask, and think it over, and pick the right surgery for you. It isn't easy, but then so many worthwhile things AREN'T easy, are they?

Hey if you can sing like Frank you can call me a broad (or a dame for that matter) ANY time.

Amen! Come on HH give it a try

I just want to thank you all for your advice. I decided to sleep on it and see how I felt in the next day. I don't really think that the doctor had ulterior motives, I have no reason to suspect it, but of course you never know. So far all the staff I have spoken with at the office were very nice, patient, and answered all the questions we had and the doctors there have done lots of both types of surgeries. I will ask why he recommeded the bypass for us but I believe it's because of our very high BMI - mine is 58 and my husband's is I think something like 45. I respect his opinion as a doctor and I didn't want him to "tell me what I wanted to hear", I just wasn't expecting what he said - I thought one surgery was just about as good as the next and it didn't make a difference weight-loss wise. So needless to say his recommendation really caught me off guard and made me question my decision. He did say that it was my body and my decision and he would give me which ever option I decided on.

So I slept on it and I have thought about it and right now the way I'm feeling is that I just am not comfortable with the bypass, and if I don't feel a peace about it then it must not be for me. I am one to follow my gut instincts and I am rarely wrong. (Except for when my gut tells me to get the LARGE fries :wub: )

In the mean time I'm going to work on losing the 30 lbs he recommended and plan for having the REALIZE BAND put in.

SO... hopefully I won't regret the decision down the road and won't find myself questioning myself again! Thanks everyone for your support. You guys are great! :thumbup:

Regardless of what you decide, be aware that there are a bunch of people here who care about you, and will be there to support you any way we can. I think it's wonderful that you are going into this together. You'll be able to support each other, and that is KEY to your success, regardless of which procedure you choose.

Your plan is good; regardless of what you end up choosing, you WILL be asked to begin losing some weight prior to surgery. So, yes, begin that NOW, and start making the changes that you'll need to make for the wonderful life that awaits you both.

HH

What's WRONG with me today? I'm being too nice. I need to find an orphanage to burn or something.

HH you and RM need to get a room!

But in my gracious opinion I don't think people who are scared or nervous about gastric bypass will every change their mind no matter what a doctor says. It was very difficult to give my daughter permission, well she was 18 but still to have her gastric bypass and she was over 350 lbs and six feet tall.

It's much harder to allow someone you love to have something that drastic but I knew that's what she really wanted and she felt would be her only way to successfully lose weight and change her life for the better. It also made it silly for me not to choose RNY after not being successful with my lap band when I was too scared to have RNY in the first place.

Good luck with your decision and whatever WLS you and your husband choose, I know it's not easy, Nancy:thumbup:

One of the best gifts we give ourselves is to trust our internal instincts. My grandmother used to say, "If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't."

Stick with your gut! :thumbup: