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Speaking as a man, I don't think men mature till at least 35 :tongue_smilie:. Now, its easy to look at your picture and see why he finds you attractive, but he isn't thinking long term. My wife and I both went through this. I didn't love her any less, and still found her attractive when she was your weight, but now I know I will have her around a lot longer. At our age, that becomes more important. As for your need to alter yourself, that is just what he is doing at the gym.

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It would be nice if you could make him wear a fat suit for a day. Just because you are confident doesn't mean you want to put your life at risk and that is what obesity does. Maybe he is insecure in being able to keep you when your already such a dynamo. I asked my sig other what he thought about it and he said he loves me not my size. I think the only issue would be if he is one of those guys who are only attracted to bigger women which does happen. Sit down and have a conversation with him. But in the end you have to do whats right for you!
The more I think about it..read you all comments, and how how he is treating me as the date gets closer. I know that he loves me, I think he may be scared of losing me. I use to date an NBA player right before I met him. I also gained about 50lbs or more since we have been togather. I know hes not attracted to big girls ( I have seen pictures of exs). I think he just made me an exception. I just dont know, hopefully it will all work out. I think we will be able to stand this test and if we do this will really let me know that me and him are ment to be togather...I might end up marrying him after all :)

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Speaking as a man, I don't think men mature till at least 35 :). Now, its easy to look at your picture and see why he finds you attractive, but he isn't thinking long term. My wife and I both went through this. I didn't love her any less, and still found her attractive when she was your weight, but now I know I will have her around a lot longer. At our age, that becomes more important. As for your need to alter yourself, that is just what he is doing at the gym.
Thanks so much...I dont think men mature until at least 40...and my dad just turned 42..I still dont think he has it all the way..lol. I am glad you and your wife had the procedure..and you all both look wonderful! I know as we grow older we will grow closer...I want him to be even more proud of me..I want him to be happy there is this sexy girl on his arm that isnt twice his size..( I am literally twice his size...hes like 144 or something) Thanks so much for your comment..

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Maybe he's feeling threatened by you losing weight. Maybe he's afraid that once you've lost your weight that you'll lose interest in him and find a new guy. Or maybe he's someone who doesn't deal with change very well. Sounds to me like he's feeling insecure about it and worried more than he lets on.

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Does this strike you as total hypocrisy? It does me.

Don't know him OR you...but I can't help but wonder if he prefers you fat (for HIS ego) and is running this line of BS to keep you that way?

Just my 2 cents, for whatever that's worth!

He could be a "chubby chaser" as well and maybe just finds big girls physically attractive????????

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I am officially approved!!!!!! I am so excited...they moved my surgery date to this coming Tuesday:thumbup:!! I can not wait!!:biggrin::thumbup::smile2:

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Wow, thats fast. Good luck.

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Congrats! Mine is July 16th- i am going to Michigan to have mine done because of being self pay-

so good luck and keep in touch.

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Hey yall..I have a question that isnt about my Skinny ass boyfriend..

Since I opted out of the special program that cost $2500. They said I will have to pay for my own fills and then ask my insurance company for my money? Is this normal?

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Hey yall..I have a question that isnt about my Skinny ass boyfriend..

Since I opted out of the special program that cost $2500. They said I will have to pay for my own fills and then ask my insurance company for my money? Is this normal?

Normal seems to vary a lot with different programs and different insurance carriers. Many people here have said fills cost $200-300, and most people only get a few, for what that is worth.

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My fiancee isn't 'skinny ass' but he is very tall (unlike me, I'm 5'2). He is overweight, but he holds his weight very well and really doesn't look very overweight. Its a different kind of frustration because he can eat whatever and pretty much still look the same, whereas if I eat half a teaspoon of ice cream I gain 5 pounds. However, he is very supportive of my decision to have WLS and has been nothing short of amazing throughout this whole process.

The good thing is, we both have weight to lose, and so now we are able to help each other do it. Also, as I am losing weight, I think he is getting motivated to lose weight as well!

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...oh okay...I was just making sure I wasent the only one..because they were trying to force me to do this program..I didnt know if they were just saying that to f with me..[QUOTE=BillOh;1270067]Normal seems to vary a lot with different programs and different insurance carriers. Many people here have said fills cost $200-300, and most people only get a few, for what that is worth.

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This is so interesting. I wish I could get my husband to talk about what he likes, he is so quiet. If your bf is a loving supporting "soft place to fall" as Dr Phil would say, maybe he does just need to come to terms with your desire to get healthy. Perhaps he is comfortable with you and likes your weight. If I can pretend to know you from the little bit I have read...you seem to put on a good face for everyone. The confident "big girl." Maybe he is confused with your motivation for your surgery. Maybe he wonders if you will still want his 'skinny ass" as a boyfriend when you are a skinny ass yourself!:confused: Best of luck to you both. De-Lean

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Hi!!!

Im back from the "dead" and I swear it has been a task and a half. I have lost 15lbs already...follow your diets!! I am very excited but let me just say..

:cursing:WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THIS SURGERY HURTS LIKE HELL????:thumbup:

I have experianced the worst pain in my life....morphine and percs were my new best friends...That only lasted about 5 days though...and then it seemed as if I couldnt chew enough damn Gas X to save my life!!! ooooo...GOD!! just thinking about it all makes me sad and want to cry!

But the good news is...I am well on my way to a healthy recovery :laugh:. 15lbs down in one week is nothing short of amazing to me! I am excited that since im on full liquids now I can actually feel myself get full off of 8oz of milk!! This was the ansewer for me! I know once I heal and get everything going I am going to be able to exercise and eat right and get this weight off for good!! As of right now I can tell all of you that this surgery is worth it. Lets see what I say in a month though...

As for my Skinny ass boyfriend if anyone cares to know. He never left my side...ever...he was the most and is still the most compassionate person. If I needed meds at 4am he was there, helping me walk, massages, dozens and dozens of roses and 2 "health nut teddy bears" (they are these cute little stuff animals with work out gear on and health facts) I think he was just nervous...but I see now that he reallly truly and always will love me:wub:..even if I am getting a massage and start tooting like its going out of stlyle.

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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