OK SO SORRY ahead of time for this ...ok so i have an appt with my surgeon for a consultation tomm i'm doing this self pay which is np... my husband has been very supportive up until a week ago where he keeps saying ...r u sure you want to do this? and don't u think there will be so much skin and then ur gonna get into the cycle of plastic surgery and bla bla bla ,,,, then he's like if ur doing it for ur health then ok but imagine not eating what u want and whatever.... he's like i'm going to feel sorry for u ...ughhh my husband has never had a weight problem eats whatever he wants and looks amazing .... i never had a weight problem until after my 3 pregnancy's and now he's like you look amazing just the way you are ....i mean thats nice in a way and it's not in the other that he is no longer supporting me ...i'm not sure what he's going through ! Has anyone had to deal with a spouse doing this? again i'm sorry for ranting on just thought i would ask. thanks

Katie

My husband is the same way. He can eat whatever he wants. He doesn't know what it's like to have a food addiction. Just hang in there and whatever you do, don't let him talk you out of it!

In deferse of we men, may I say that we tend to be proactive rather than reactive and analytical rather than emotionanl. I don't say this to offend you, rather, just to let you know where we are coming from.

He just wants to be certain that you have all the data you need to make in informed decision. Tolerate him.:grouphug:

Carrie,

thanks for replying... i'm not going to let him talk me out of it , but it's like when i'm scared it's nice to have someone be strong for you ...u know? and i think he's just more scared than i am lol i'm not used to him being that way .... looks like ur weightloss is great very happy for you :grouphug: how was it with your husband being able to eat everything and you after the surgery?

it sounds very likely that now that it is getting closer, he is getting scared for you. everyone deals with stress/fear differently. i bet the same questions coming out of his mouth, are the same as the ones you asked yourself in your head when making your decision to have this procedure. it is a sign that he cares and is going through it wth you.

good luck

kat ,i know what u mean ...i have asked myself all these questions and i still am...but i think i have to stop asking questions and just get it done already lol i just wish i wasn't so friecked out!! ughhh lol and yes i think he is just really scared i guess ur right everyone handles things diffrently:smile:

In deferse of we men, may I say that we tend to be proactive rather than reactive and analytical rather than emotionanl. I don't say this to offend you, rather, just to let you know where we are coming from.

*LOL* what a load of baloney!

He is either:

1) truly concerned about your well-being OR.....

2) trying to throw a kink in your plan due to fear and insecurity.

Only you know your husband and can decide which reaction he is having.

I would have a long discussion with him and talk it through. If you have indeed made your decision on having the surgery, then make him aware of your reasons why and proceed.

Just go into it knowing why he is suddenly back-peddling and if it is due to insecurities be ready.......

Good luck..........

*LOL* what a load of baloney!

If you say so.

I would have to agree I think as it becomes more real he is scared of what this will mean for your future. I'm sure first and formost is that he is concerned about you undergoing surgery and what that might do to you, but also as you change physically are you still going to be interested in him or will you be a little to flattered by all the attention you will get with your new hotter body.

It sounds like he loves you very much (my husband also never saw my true size). Men are funny creatures, and we all know they are not about to come out and say they are afraid of something!! (sorry guys reading this but I've been married 15yrs I'm not making this up...LOL).

Try to ger/keep your hubby involved and informed about the process, I think that the best way to ease his mind and gain support is to keep him in the loop.

Good luck I hope that you are able to jump on the road to a hot new you soon!! Happy Skrinking!!

~Monica

gone fishin: just let it roll :thumbup:

we're all in this together, sisters AND brothers

you will do great...when he drives you nuts, just come right back here and vent again.

we'll be here for you :thumbup:

Why not take him with you to the doctor and have him ask questions. You might also see about going to a support group metting and let him here from all the other people that have been banded. Iam almost 2 years out and it is the best thing I have done. I have learned how to cut way back on the amount of food I used to eat at one setting. I also learned to eat slower becuase if you eat fast it might not stay in. Also tell him that you are not looking at plastic surgery etc. for a very long time. This is not something that will happen overnight. It will take a while. If you have any questions just ask.

Chris

If you say so.

All i meant is we're no different. Humans are not exclusively one thing or the other.

thank u all so much for answering back... well just got back from my consultation and my husband went with me ...geez he asked like a million and one questions ...lol for some reason the nurse pract that was there was so against the lapband and they were pro bypass ...so he was like theres noway ur doing that it seems so invasive ...so he's like if u want to do the band go ahead and i'll be with u the whole way ....so hopefully he feels a bit better after asking his questions lol can't wait to see what happends after this :cursing:

Carrie,

thanks for replying... i'm not going to let him talk me out of it , but it's like when i'm scared it's nice to have someone be strong for you ...u know? and i think he's just more scared than i am lol i'm not used to him being that way .... looks like ur weightloss is great very happy for you :cursing: how was it with your husband being able to eat everything and you after the surgery?

Thanks, I feel so much better since I have lost weight. I have so much more energy. My husband is a little better now than he was, but he is very old fashioned and he doesn't think it is natural to have a band. He doesn't understand food addiction at all. He used to think that I should still be able to eat as much as I could before and he would get mad when I didn't. But I have had the band a year, and now he doesn't really say anything. I will admit that it has been very hard to have him be so nonsupportive. I think that's one reason I stay here so much.