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My "know it all" husband....



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I was going to post this in unsupportive spouse but he is actually TOO supportive, well if there is such a thing. I was talking to him last night about the fact that I am really scared to fail the band.(I haven't been banded yet) Well he made the comment "I'll make sure you don't fail" I thought "Aww well thanks baby", until he made his next comment. "I will keep a food log for you, for thing you can and can't have and make sure you do your excersise everyday" He is military and is very strict when it comes to certian things. I am affraid he is going to start being a drill sergeant. And if I do fail then I am affraid he will hold it against me and resent me for it. This is the only thing i am scared of. I love my hubby very much but he can be very judgmental. He does support my decision but I think he might expect me to lose all my 105 lbs I need to lose over night.... You know what I mean. I try to explain everything but he thinks he knows it all....

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Maybe if you tell him that while you definitely want/need his support, to a large extent this is YOUR journey. After all, he can't be w/you all the time, this is time for you (me too!) to truly become responsible for our own well-being. You're the one playing this game - he needs to be your number one cheerleader!!

Best of luck to you!!

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I know what you mean, those soldiers...we love 'em but they are a little hard core in the exercise department. I work with the military, all day, 60 hrs a week. I have gotten similar comments. "You can march with us tomrrow morning" or "we'll have you start with 20 situps and work your way up". I appreciate the motivation but I'm obese and I have 10 years on most of them. I can't do more than 1 situp now let alone 20. I guess the best advise I could give you is to arm yourself with some ammunition from your nutritionist and trainer. When he offers to do your food log say "Oh thank you but my nutritionist already has a log and specifically asked me to fill it out daily" or "My trainer wants we to start out slow so I don't cause injury" Let the professionals advise be the polite way to say "no thank you".

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explainl to him that if you don't learn to do it yourself...for yourself...including making your own mistakes to learn from, that you will fail. "what will i learn honey if you do it all for me"?

tell him to fight his battle (protecting the U.S.) and you'll fight yours.

good luck !!

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explainl to him that if you don't learn to do it yourself...for yourself...including making your own mistakes to learn from, that you will fail. "what will i learn honey if you do it all for me"?

tell him to fight his battle (protecting the U.S.) and you'll fight yours.

good luck !!

I think this is a wonderful idea.. let him know that you support him while he is fighting his battle (protecting the US), but you can't do the fighting for him. Tell him that is the same thing that you need from him. You are starting out of a war against your obesity, you need him to be supporting you, not fighting it for you.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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