Hello. On May 6th I found out that I was pregnant. (We had been trying). May 13th I lost the baby. I know that it's not the fault of the band...I have been having trouble not turning to food in this time of Grief. That would have been what I would have done without the band. All I want to do is eat...eat and eat and eat until it doesn't hurt anymore, but I know I can't. Has anyone else misscarried after having the lap band? How did you cope? What helped you. By the way I am 22 and they told me after I had my son that I may not be able to get pregnant again and that if I did I would most likely misscarry or be high risk. My heart is broken...I am tired of hearing; you're young, you can try again...I don't want to try again...I want my baby...this baby! Anyways, Thank you for reading...

The thing is...when I got pregnant with my son I was around 215...when I found out I was pregnant this last time I was around 190...it's so crazy. I have so much horrible things going on right now. Thank you all so much for your stories and support :smile: Lord knows I need it!

When I had my son I had pre eclampsia pretty bad. At 32 weeks I had a placental abruption and it tore a pretty good sized hole in my uterus.

Oh my gosh I have goosebumps, that is VERY scary! Thank you so much for sharing, you have helped me understand a little better. You seem really well educated in everything that happened, thats good. You definitely are extremely high risk. Do you see a perinatologist rather than (or in addition to) an Ob/Gyn? Obviously I don't know anything about your clotting disorders and high risk is not my forte, but I have heard of moms with certain clotting disorders taking heparin/Lovonox shots during pregnancy (maybe during conception too). Like I said you seem really educated so this may be old news to you. And all the information in the world does not change what your going through right now, and I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to let you know that when your ready, there may be more information out there that can help. I'll be thinking of you and your family.-Kristal

Yeah they told me I would most likely need to be on Heparin during my next pregnancy and probably quite a bit of bed rest. It was so scary. I had used up all my clotting factor when the placenta abrupted so my son and I were bleeding to death. He took 7 units and I took 4 units of blood. I haven't seen a perinatologist...I'm not even sure what that is :smile: lol

I'm so glad you and your son made it through that! A perinatalogist is a doctor that specializes in high risk pregnancies. My hospital does not have a perinatalogist, but our doctors refer their high risk patient to a Perinatalogy clinic in Milwaukee.

My heart breask for you as I read your posts.

I had a miscarraige at 7 1/2 weeks five years ago last month. There were no words that comforted me. The best thing anyone said to me (which was still of little help) was, "That really sucks!" Simple and somewhat crude, but they were the best words anyone said to me. I think I just really appreciated someone not trying to make me feel better because that wasn't going to happen. This friend just wanted to express her condolences, and I appreciated that.

After five years, I wish I could tell you that time has healed the wound completely, but it hasn't. I don't think it ever will. As someone else said, it is harder around the time our baby would have been born and when we lost Bailee.

We did name our baby, and that has been one coping strategy that has helped. Since we didn't know the sex, we chose a unisex name, Bailee (spelled with "lee" instead of "ley" because Lee is a family name).

We also have a garden in the back of our house that we call Bailee's garden. My mother-in-law tends that (she lives with us) as her means of coping with the loss of her only grandchild.

One more thing we do is each Christmas we pick out an ornament together and have it engraved "We love you, Bailee 5/26/04."

I have heard of other things such as writing a letter to your child and sending it off in a helium balloon and other things, but we have done what seemed best for us.

There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better, but I thought I would share some of the things we do to help us cope. Otherwise, I'll leave you with these parting words of wisdom, "That really sucks!"

Hugs, thoughts, and prayers...Amy

Thank you so much...it does suck, so bad. I still think about our baby...what if it was the girl we always wanted or another handsome boy that would have looked just like my husband...so many questions...Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I think we may try some of those things. :tongue_smilie: