I have had the worst month ever. I was banded on 12-10-2008. I am down 81 lbs. I have had two fills with no restriction still. I have had a very stressful month with personal problems and been sick alot(upper respitory infection and horrendous menstrual cycle). I barely have exercised and I have not been able to stick to eating correctly. First reason is I have no restriction. I dont know what to do to get my surgeon to give me a good fill. I have 3cc in a 11cc band and it has done absolutely nothing for me. I can eat everything and anything with no problem. I can gulp and nothing gets stuck. I am never filled. Out of being depressed from feeling this choice is another failed attempt for me to lose weight I have just not really cared to follow the rules and I know I have gained weight. I go back on Monday for my 3rd fill. I am scared to face what I have done in the past month, I am upset I will get the old 1/2cc fill again and have another month of struggling to get that full feeling that never seems to come. I am ashamed to face my family and friends who have supported me through this and believed this was the answer to me getting my life back and have to tell them I have gained weight back. I am so conflicted and depressed. I just want to crawl in a hole and cry. I can't explain how horrible I feel. Everyone on here seems to have had great success in their lap-band journey and I just don't know why my experience is not what I thought it would be. I know it is a tool and we have to make the right choices. I do try to get my proteins in and not to drink while I eat and all that good stuff but it is not filling me so I do as I have always done and eat more than one helping or turn to junk food to help fill me. I still believe deep down that I will get to that spot of good restriction but the longer it takes with these little fills the more chance I have of staying with my old eating habits. I ma going to face the music and try to get back to what is right I just pray my surgeon gives me likee 2 or 3cc's to help get me restriction and have the tool actually do its job while i do my part too.

thats for the support but i don't deserve all this credit I should have clarified that I lost 48 lbs prior to surgery during my qulaifying period and pre op diet. I lost 10 lbs my 1st weigh in 2 weeks after surgery and 16 my second weigh in when I got my first fill and 7 lbs my last weigh in when I got my 2nd fill. So I really have only lost 31 lbs since surgery. SO you can see my frustration. I am just so scared of gaining the weight back because I can fall back into my old eating habiyts so easily, due to the fact I have no reaction from the surgery. I almost welcome getting sick to teach me when to stop because obviously if I were able to know when to stop I never would og got up to 479 lbs and needed the surgery. I just need some physical indicatiors to tell me to stop or it is enough or this is not the best thing to eat.

You do deserve credit. You lost 48 pounds before surgery... you did it, no one else.

I got banded 3 days after you and have lost almost the same as you have since being banded. It is not easy. I have struggled with depression and lots of personal stuff as well. But no one promised me that it was going to be easy. You are going to have bad days. This is normal. Please stop being so hard on you. You are doing it. Some people have an easier time then others. I had lost very little weight until recently getting another fill and I think this time it is closer to that sweet spot people refer to. My last fill was only ½ cc and I thought to myself “what a waste of time and money. All of this for ½ of a cc???” But it was just enough to put me over that hump. It got me to a point where I feel the restriction and the fullness that people describe. So stop psyching yourself out. Keep trying and stop stressing over it so much. I can say this because I have had to swallow my own medicine recently and do the same thing. It will all work out. But it is work and you have to keep going. You have come so far!! Please add me if you need someone to talk to. I really do understand how hard this is. It has not been an easy road for me either. Take care and keep in touch.

-steph

thanks for all the support. It helped not be so hard on myself. I went to my appointment yesterday and admitted all the bad things I had done in the last month. I stressed I need some restriction. I gained 5 lbs which is not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I still believe in this choice . I am just anxious to get to the part where I am getting full on the healthy foods with out having to have more than one helping and adding in junk food just to get full. I know there are many successes with this and I know my day is coming. Patience has never been my strong suit but hopefully with this last fill I will start to feel this restriction. My doctor suspects that I lost maybe a cc of fill due to air pockets and stuff so he added 2cc to my band so if he is wrong about me losing fluid then I am at 5cc if he is right then I am between 4-5cc in there. On mushies today real hard to gauge by that since they don't really fill you . In a week and a half if I still have no restriction then he will add more and not make me wait a month. Onward & upward. Keeping my head up.

Congratulations on the fill. Good luck!

thanks for all the support. It helped not be so hard on myself. I went to my appointment yesterday and admitted all the bad things I had done in the last month. I stressed I need some restriction. I gained 5 lbs which is not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I still believe in this choice . I am just anxious to get to the part where I am getting full on the healthy foods with out having to have more than one helping and adding in junk food just to get full. I know there are many successes with this and I know my day is coming. Patience has never been my strong suit but hopefully with this last fill I will start to feel this restriction. My doctor suspects that I lost maybe a cc of fill due to air pockets and stuff so he added 2cc to my band so if he is wrong about me losing Fluid then I am at 5cc if he is right then I am between 4-5cc in there. On mushies today real hard to gauge by that since they don't really fill you . In a week and a half if I still have no restriction then he will add more and not make me wait a month. Onward & upward. Keeping my head up.

Great news, Anne-Marie!!! You're doing fantastic!