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I think "wife" is Latin for "brat." :rolleyes:

I don't know about in Latin, but wives is the Spanish word for handcuffs. I'm not joking. :biggrin:

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I have not told everyone about my surgery. I had not planned to keep it a secret, but I began to tire of frields and family expressing their negative views about it. Comments like, "We love you the way you are. You don't need to take such a drastic measure as this. What it something happens in the process?" Some people have said that I should just muster up the will power to do it on my own. "Just don't eat as much! Cut down your portions!" they would say. Well, I'm 58 years old, and if I could have done it on my own I would have by now!!!! I wish everyone much success, as I pray I will. Take care.

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lesliewelsh: I'm also 58 and from Pennsylvania - what area are you from? There aren't many of us (age wise) on these boards although there is a special age forum. We are battling slowing metabolism, menopause and a whole host of other problems of the aging body. But willpower doesn't work. It's like holding your breath - you can only do it so long.

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Hi Leslie and Cleo's Mom!

I am from Rhode Island but did live in Pennsylvania for a while...had my daughters at Riddle Memorial Hospital in Media Township back in 1974 and 1975!

I've noticed that we "Menopause Mommas" are definitely in the minority!

Hey - we should start a forum for "MENOPAUSE MOMMAS"!!!

Take care...

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I decided not to share information about surgery with other people to avoid this issue of people watching my every bite. My husband, brother and a couple of close friends know. Even within this group, my husband gives me "the look" from time to time and I get some questions.

I am happy that I don't have to explain myself all the time . . . after all, I did this to be normal and normal isn't having people watch your every bite.

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I don't know about in Latin, but wives is the Spanish word for handcuffs. I'm not joking. :rolleyes:

Oh wow, that's pretty dang funny -- and ironic! :biggrin:

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That is the reason only 2 people know that I had WLS. I didn't want to go through that all the time. If people ask me how I am losing weight, I tell them, eating less, and exercising more. Which is true, but my band is my private business.:rose:

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My husband gives me no support

Big hugs!!!!! Don't give up on him yet... men have a funny way of suddenly surprising you. Mine is not one to come out and pat anyone on the back, in fact, he mostly is a teaser... but then out of the blue there are little things he does that lets me know he really is proud of me. Maybe yours just doesn't know how to express it either. :tongue2:

In any case, just wanted to send you some hugs. :tt2:

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I also tell them, this band is for life...."do you really think I won't ever eat anything just because it tastes good for the rest of my life?"

I think so many people forget that point... this is not about this moment in time...it's about a lifetime. I like this statement. Thanks, Jaffa Steve! :tongue2:

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Big hugs!!!!! Don't give up on him yet... men have a funny way of suddenly surprising you. Mine is not one to come out and pat anyone on the back, in fact, he mostly is a teaser... but then out of the blue there are little things he does that lets me know he really is proud of me. Maybe yours just doesn't know how to express it either. :thumbup:

In any case, just wanted to send you some hugs. :thumbup:

Thanks! He has actually not been too bad this week. I got a fill yesterday and I expected him to be mad that I didn't eat much today, but he didn't say anything. I also told him I didn't want any candy for valentines day because of the sugar. But he surprised me and bought sugar free!

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I so identify with that and it is extremely frustrating. I know it is important to have support of your family and friends to be successful. I get it from every angle. Everyone has an opinion of how I should eat, what I should eat and what I should not eat. My nutritionist is not even as strict as some of my friends and family . Then I do feel like a failure if I do fall off a bit. I have one friend telling me I have to be perfect in my eating, my mother wants me to not obsess about not being able to eat the things I like, my other friend doesnt want me to put anything in my mouth that I shouldn't, my boss wants me to call him the minute I get out of my weigh ins to hear the progress. I am very fortunate to have a lot of support and people who want to see me succeed but I have to be able to make these changes gradually and at my own pace and not feel guilty or that I have failed myself and everyone else in my life.

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Nobody in real life has ever said to me, should you be eating that?.

But what DOES drive me seriously insane is the assumption that high Protein low carb is it and a bit (yep, I'm whacking that old chestnut again). I know I should just shut up and stay out of it but I can always be drawn into an argument about this and I always get riled. I absolutely HATE the assumption that I dont know what I'm doing, that I dont know how to make healthy choices or I'm some sort of idiot who believes the big bad consipiracy about the healthy food pyramid. I hate that people think they're so *right* becuase they can point to this study or that, some study that was not randomised, some study in which the high Protein eaters lost more than the high carbers but conveniently ignoring the fact that neither group lost more than 10lb in 2 years and that losing weight will always improve your lipid profiles anyway and the fact that none of these studies have looked at what happens when you do something like Atkins for 20 years after your weight loss has stopped. I hate that they then say that the food pyramid has made us fat and diseased when what people really eat is nothing LIKE what the food pyramid suggests.

I personally dont care if someone wants to eat high protein and low carb, I might not think its a good way to eat, but I cant deny many lose weight way easier and faster this way. But they then become born again converts and have to tell me that I am eating wrong and that makes my blood boil when I too have lost 100 lb, kept it off for 18 months and improved my lipid profile, blood rpessure etc.

Lol, sorry for the rant.

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Wow it is very interesting to read everyone's response. I can totally relate. I have worked at differant places over the last 5 years and at each place, if I was 'dieting' or whatever the response is varied. Some would ask you every five seconds how much you lost or what are you eating--blah blah..

Right now where I work, I have noticed an interesting thing:

When I eat a very little and far more healthy, my co-workers who are all smaller than me are pounding down french fries, burgers and soda. I see them kind of be a little embarrassed about the type of food they are eating and the volume!! LOL (I would rather have this situation then the former)

No one where I work is snotty about the eating thing. Any catty-ness would come from a couple gals who are just your typical cats. But luckily those gals 'diet' and closet eat - so they don't have the guts to say anything to me.:tt2:

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I have really noticed how my coworkers eat, too. None of them know I have the band. They will all sit down with a lot of fast food, and I will think man, that's an awful lot of food for one person to eat. But them I remember, I used to eat that much and more!

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I did strickly Atkins before the band at one time. I didn't lose a pound. Why? Because I was totally unable to control my portion sizes. I could eat the so called low carb stuff and avoid everything else, but I could eat so much of it that it still added up.

Boy was I a perfect candidate for the band. I do try to keep my carbs to 100 now though. It just make me less hungry and less cravings. But that is just me, I think for some people it means nothing to have a lot of carbs. It really depends on your genetics.

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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