Hi Everyone,

A belated Happy New Year to all, there hasn't been much to celebrate around here what with the war and all, but I wanted to report in.

I've been holding steady at 161 or so ever since returning from the States a month ago - something of an accomplishment because it hasn't been the best month with food. Portion control, eating at night, eating too quickly: all these things continue to be problems for me. Plus, I basically work in a glorified kiosk - the reception center of our educational tourism center, where we sell ice cream, including milkshakes, (and guess who is always asked to prepare them because he makes the best ones?), and home baked cheesecake, apple pie, and chocolate chip cookies. Ironic, huh. I pull a night shift at least once a week, so from 4:00 to 11:00, it's me and every child's sweetest dream come back to haunt me.

Lots of spitting, lots of pb's, I'll spare everyone the details. An empty bottle on car and bus trips is now a must for me, as is not eating or drinking before any sort of public engagement. I need to think more about proper nutrition. I know I'm not getting enough fruit or vegetables because I hardly ever eat them anymore - they don't stay down. Time to chart my food on Fitday for a week and pay more attention to what people around here are eating.

I concluded eight years of therapy this month. I never would've gotten to the point where I was ready to consider this operation had it not been for my therapist. I know that the way I wrapped things up with her was very gratifying for her - and for me, too.

My parents are here from the States for two months, living out the worst of the New York winter here in the desert. It's sad to see my dad the way he is, but my Mom feels up to the task of caring for him. My kids are delighted to see them, and many people here know them - this is their eight trip in as many years.

In general, I'm just trying to take things as they come and appreciate life for what it's worth. Trying not to let the past and future contaminate the present, enjoying the sense of calm which I find comes with that.

Hey - whatever problems I'm having with food, it's alot nicer to have them at this weight than at, oh, say, 286. It's hard to get that depressed when you are this good looking.

Talk to you soon,

Edited January 20, 200917 yr by bandpal

Bandpal I think what you are experiencing is probably pretty normal. I'm pretty tight and find myself not always taking my time when I eat.

I have seen the news reports about the war. I pray that you and your family remain safe.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Just remember how far you have come.

Happy New Year Bandpal and everyone else. I have been PBing quite a bit myself due to eating too fast and too much at times. My body says no but my head can't seem to. I really need to get a happy balance on this. I can still eat lots, including fruit so I need more fill but what I need most is to slow down and make better food choices.

Congrats on the therapy... what an achievement!! I started seeing someone just before xmas to help me with some of my issues... she seems pretty good so far.

Enjoy your time with your parents, those last years are very precious and once they're gone we can't get them back. I have lost both my parents and some days it's very hard not to be sad.

Take care and I look forward to the day I can say I am at goal or close to it.

Hi everyone!

Sades, I'm with you on missing my parents. My mom passed 3 1/2 years ago and my dad a year after that. During the year between their deaths, I gained 50 pounds. More than I ever gained in such a short period of time. I still miss them terribly.

Bandpal, cherish this time with your's.

I had an emergency unfill last Saturday. Even though I was only filling 1/8 at a time, the last one a week ago was a little too much. I had the worst stuck experience ever on Friday. 4 hours stuck on mashed potatoes! I only had 3 bites and was stuck. It was Hell! Now I'm back down to 7cc's and it's comfortable. Hope I can still lose weight like this. It's going to take more focus and effort on my part.

It is hard without them and I did the same with the weight.

I've had some episodes but nothing as bad as you. I have 6.5cc so I think 7cc for me may be the way to go. It really is about saying no to certain foods and keeping up with the exercise. My next fill is the middle of next month so really need to be careful before that.

Good luck all.