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What would happen if I shared with my pre-op psychologist that I might consider taking my life in the future when/if a romantic relationship I'm in ends? Would that get me help, or would it get me black-listed, or both?

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I think you should share right away...if not with the preop psych, then with one you go to "on the side". I think it's brave to admit those feelings; you need to get some help to deal with them. Once they are under control (and you aren't alone, you know....there is help out there!) then you'd be more likely to be successful with the band!

Please talk to someone about those feelings; if not a therapist, then your primary doctor, or a religious leader, if that fits your lifestyle and outlook.

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I am not sure what your doctor would say or do, but I would hope that any doctor confronted with this issue with one of their patients would not put them through any surgery unless they were emotionally ready. I think it is normal from time to time to have thoughts like this in times of distress, but if you are truely feeling like you might do harm to yourself, you should be honest with your doctor so he can get you the proper care. Me, personally, could not have gone through this lap band surgery about two years ago when I was having problems with my teen daughter, who was addicted to drugs. I was so stressed out and depressed. I chose now to do this surgery because things are now better and I can concentrate on what I need to do to make this surgery work for me. I am sure that this process of losing weight and all the lifestyle changes that come with it are going to cause stress, so it is better to be mentally ready for the surgery IMO. Take Care, and I hope things look up for you....Connie

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I don't know what you are going through, but you really need to get some help. If you tell a doctor that, you can get some help. All you have to do is ask. Good luck.

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:cursing: I would strongly recommend seeing a psychiatrist as soon as possible. You need to be emotionally stable and chemically balanced before embarking on such a dramatic weight-loss journey. I can only hope that the threat of losing that relationship is not related to your weight. If it is, you seriously need to end it yourself because you deserve FAR MORE than some jerk who has a problem with a couple extra pounds could give you!

:lol: I just have trouble comprehending how someone could have suicidal thoughts about the potentiality of a relationship ending. Unless the relationship itself is highly unstable, it seems a little weird to anticipate your personal demise at the unforseen end. I dont know what you're going through, but I can tell you that I never thought I'd learn to sleep on my own, be on my own, or even breathe on my own if my SO left me. We had dated April 30, 2000 until he broke up with me on a Couples Camping Trip (perfect timing, NOT!) June 2, 2005. It took me a year and a half to recover, and probably a full two years to fully recover. I still battle with the residue of the emotional abuse for 4 of those 5 years we dated. I'm talking there were no pet names- he preferred calling me stupid and a dumb*ss. :rolleyes2: Not to mention, he refused to dance at prom, my mother had to PAY for our tickets and his Goodwill "suit" and my corsage, and never celebrated a single Valentines Day. :tt1:

So yeah, I understand emotional abuse. You have GOT to get out of it if that's the case.:laugh:

And if that's not the case, I would also suggest couples therapy because the level of codependency when someone would consider killing themselves if the other left is NOT healthy. AT ALL. :eek:

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Dear One:

I'm genuinely concerned for you. It is extremely brave to admit you are having these thoughts, but I ask that you take that courage one step further and talk to your doctor, pastor, even go so far as calling 911 and telling them you are in danger. I agree with others that the banding and emotional issues that surround that may not be the best timing for you right now. Take care of yourself right now and think about surgery later. You are worth more than you know!

Cheryl Elizabeth

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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