What would happen if I shared with my pre-op psychologist that I might consider taking my life in the future when/if a romantic relationship I'm in ends? Would that get me help, or would it get me black-listed, or both?

I think you should share right away...if not with the preop psych, then with one you go to "on the side". I think it's brave to admit those feelings; you need to get some help to deal with them. Once they are under control (and you aren't alone, you know....there is help out there!) then you'd be more likely to be successful with the band!

Please talk to someone about those feelings; if not a therapist, then your primary doctor, or a religious leader, if that fits your lifestyle and outlook.

I am not sure what your doctor would say or do, but I would hope that any doctor confronted with this issue with one of their patients would not put them through any surgery unless they were emotionally ready. I think it is normal from time to time to have thoughts like this in times of distress, but if you are truely feeling like you might do harm to yourself, you should be honest with your doctor so he can get you the proper care. Me, personally, could not have gone through this lap band surgery about two years ago when I was having problems with my teen daughter, who was addicted to drugs. I was so stressed out and depressed. I chose now to do this surgery because things are now better and I can concentrate on what I need to do to make this surgery work for me. I am sure that this process of losing weight and all the lifestyle changes that come with it are going to cause stress, so it is better to be mentally ready for the surgery IMO. Take Care, and I hope things look up for you....Connie

I don't know what you are going through, but you really need to get some help. If you tell a doctor that, you can get some help. All you have to do is ask. Good luck.

:cursing: I would strongly recommend seeing a psychiatrist as soon as possible. You need to be emotionally stable and chemically balanced before embarking on such a dramatic weight-loss journey. I can only hope that the threat of losing that relationship is not related to your weight. If it is, you seriously need to end it yourself because you deserve FAR MORE than some jerk who has a problem with a couple extra pounds could give you!

I just have trouble comprehending how someone could have suicidal thoughts about the potentiality of a relationship ending. Unless the relationship itself is highly unstable, it seems a little weird to anticipate your personal demise at the unforseen end. I dont know what you're going through, but I can tell you that I never thought I'd learn to sleep on my own, be on my own, or even breathe on my own if my SO left me. We had dated April 30, 2000 until he broke up with me on a Couples Camping Trip (perfect timing, NOT!) June 2, 2005. It took me a year and a half to recover, and probably a full two years to fully recover. I still battle with the residue of the emotional abuse for 4 of those 5 years we dated. I'm talking there were no pet names- he preferred calling me stupid and a dumb*ss. :rolleyes2: Not to mention, he refused to dance at prom, my mother had to PAY for our tickets and his Goodwill "suit" and my corsage, and never celebrated a single Valentines Day. :tt1:

So yeah, I understand emotional abuse. You have GOT to get out of it if that's the case.:laugh:

And if that's not the case, I would also suggest couples therapy because the level of codependency when someone would consider killing themselves if the other left is NOT healthy. AT ALL. :eek:

I hope you get the help you need, to make your life feel worth living.

Dear One:

I'm genuinely concerned for you. It is extremely brave to admit you are having these thoughts, but I ask that you take that courage one step further and talk to your doctor, pastor, even go so far as calling 911 and telling them you are in danger. I agree with others that the banding and emotional issues that surround that may not be the best timing for you right now. Take care of yourself right now and think about surgery later. You are worth more than you know!

Cheryl Elizabeth