News flash -- hot ladies make dudes want to be hot too.

I don't know whether to list this as a "duh" or "brilliant!" concept.

scale and objectified images, image the impact it has on some poor guy who's been thinking he's a 2 or 3 on the scale due to his weight. Imagine now that weight is coming off, he's moving "up" the scale ("away" from his partner, perhaps?), and yet he still isn't closing in on that 11 and her 3% bodyfat boyfriend. Does he Celebrate the distance traveled, or mourn the remaining gap?

Is there a solution to this? There are those out there who would call for an end to the 11s in the media, and a greater focus on real people, but I cannot agree. There has to be an unattainable goal to drive people onwards. There have always been (Greek statuary, anyone?). I think one should either fully embrace the madness and work at being that 11, or alternately reject the concept entirely. Self-acceptance through lower standards? Should your next New Years' Resolution be "I will be the best damned 6.5 on the planet"?

Ah, but the very concept of an "11" is that it is unattainable level (10 being the max of the scale). Sure, there are a few in Hollywood who have the genetics to pull it off (look at a bell curve applied to population....there will always be a select few who are stunning.....and a select few that are hideous), but that level of beauty or male fitness (depending on your gender) is simply unattainable to most of us. Your question then, tends to remind me of one of the tenets of Buddhism: Want is the cause of suffering (or something like that...I'm, uh, not a Buddhist, so I can't give the exact quote).

And I'm not so sure I believe the beauty equasion. I've always been a solid 4 (physically) and I've dated my share of 8's before settling down with my wife (easily a 9). I've found that a brilliant personality and some common sense goes a long way towards attracting the opposite sex.

Most 11s got that way with artificial enhancement anyway.

I do think that people are like Water and seek their own level. But that level isn't 100% determined by looks. It's a complex formula of looks, personality and status.

Great post. It makes total sense to me that the ridiculous standard of beauty for both males and females in the media affects men just as it affects women.

By and large people do tend to date others of similar attractiveness. Some people defy that generalisation, but overall it is true.

And I think this body dysmorphia after successful weight loss is incredibly true. I suffer it more now than I ever did fat. I get annoyed at people being incredulous that I would want to lose a bit more weight, I think I'm still fat, truly I do. But one part of me knows for sure I am not seeing what I really look like - both the good and bad points.

But I will NOT go down that plastic surgery path in pursuit of perfection. The rational me knows it doesnt exist. I will NOT put myself through an ever widening search for perfection. I think my chance for that was 20 years ago and I'm trying very hard to settle into my 40's and be a great looking 40 something year old rather than trying to be the 24 I never was.

I definitely think the media has less and less impact on you as you age. Its so ridiculous at 41 to be thinking I could achieve that bikini model figure or that gorgeous skin that I dont respond to it like I once did. It really IS fantasy to me now.

Afterall, look at Pamela Anderson now, hideous, utterly hideous. I'd rather look my age than look like that.

Ah, but the very concept of an "11" is that it is unattainable level (10 being the max of the scale). Sure, there are a few in Hollywood who have the genetics to pull it off (look at a bell curve applied to population....there will always be a select few who are stunning.....and a select few that are hideous), but that level of beauty or male fitness (depending on your gender) is simply unattainable to most of us. Your question then, tends to remind me of one of the tenets of Buddhism: Want is the cause of suffering (or something like that...I'm, uh, not a Buddhist, so I can't give the exact quote).

And I'm not so sure I believe the beauty equasion. I've always been a solid 4 (physically) and I've dated my share of 8's before settling down with my wife (easily a 9). I've found that a brilliant personality and some common sense goes a long way towards attracting the opposite sex.

I agree completely. There are so many other factors involved. I am thankful that we are not so superficial that our lifes happiness depends on working our way up to an 11, lol.

I was also lucky enough to marry a man who fits in the 8/9 category, treats me wonderfully, is intellectually stimulating and loved me when I felt I was barely passing for a 5 at the time, lol. There must have been something there other than my rating on a scale . . . and I am certainly not rich. :thumbup: