Who has the craziest Parents?

vinesqueen · July 27, 2005

I sure wish I could just walk away from my mother. Just walk away. Never look back, but I can't. This is more about the principle of the thing, not that I'm greedy. It may read that way, but oh well. I fully expect my mother to spend every cent she has, but that's her right. Like I said, it's the principle of the thing.

My mother has re-done her will. Both brothers get a trust fund. Both brothers are long time losers. Both sisters get trust funds and get to split my mother's jewlery.

I get nothing. She informed me that I've been cut out of the will because "I don't need anything." No, "I want you to have this for sentimental reasons." No "I'm proud of what you've accomplished."

My mother's had dozens of operations, and I've been at her side for ever one. I've sat the vigiles, I've made sure she had everything she needed at the hospitals, bla bla bla.

Brothers & younger sister? never anywhere to be found.

I really shoudn't be surprised I suppose. I did take legal action against them in the 70's to make them stop hitting us, to make them buy us food. I guess I get my fair come-upance.

Sometimes I wish I could have thrown her down the stairs just once, like she did to me. Simetimes I wish I could hit her hard enough to make her bleed from the welts.

Why can't I just get say good-bye to this mean old woman and just walk away? Why do I keep hurting myself with her?

Somedays it really sucks to be me.

DeLarla · July 27, 2005

Why? Because you are better than her. You have every right to feel the way you do. My mother is a millionaire. She taunts me, as if I'm going to play her games. She wants control, so she dangles property under my nose like a carrot. She wants me to run a family business. She actually sent us (me, sister & 2 brothers) a letter saying we were each being watched, spied on, to see who deserves to be in her will.

On a separate end of the planet is my father. He used to tell me how well he's taking care of me once he's gone, that I'd never have to worry. However, things have changed because both of these parents demand respect from me while treating me like I'm an idiot.

I nearly killed myself in college to get straight As. I wasn't in competition with anybody but myself. I needed to prove that I wasn't the loser they think I am. I ended up on the front page of the paper with the highest GPA at CCSN. I walked across the stage feeling like the proudest person in the world, only to find out that my family accused me of "pretending I was going to school."

Vine, I don't expect any of their money either, but we were all promised $500 for any A we earned and an additional $500 for any law class we took regardless of the grade. I was promised money for getting my real estate license. I did all of those things, but I'm not about to remind anyone that I have written contracts promising me the money. However, I was so tired of the rumors they spread about me, that I had all my awards, diplomas, certificates, letters from the Dean, etc., photocopied. I sent them to my Grandmother, who shared them with the rest of the bunch.

It took five years after graduation to get a congratulation from anyone because they thought I was lying.

I don't need or want a dime from them, but I understand your need for recognition. Oh yes, that I understand deep down through my soul.

Meanwhile, my brother who grows pot in my elderly-anti-drug-grandmother's house, steals, lies, swindles, cheats (has been arrested, involved in YOU NAME IT) is almost a millionaire. He's a year older than me but only had one honest job 20 years ago (worked 2 years in a factory.) The rest of his life he's swindled a fortune from my family. He was named Executor of my uncle's will. My uncle left us each a good sum, but my brother kept it all. We still have a lawsuit pending. But, even though he made Gramma cry for stealing all that money, he still conned another piece of property out of her. Guess who will inherit the whole shebang? Let HIM have it.

leatha_g · July 28, 2005

Count me in the alcoholic/codependant family. I was raised in beer joints, witnessed bar fights, got caught in the middle of fights, thought 'jail' must have been a fun place cause that's where my dad spent his time when he wasn't at the bar. My mother was such a sick codependant that she had no time for us emotionally. "Children are to be seen and not heard' was the motto we were raised by. My father was extremely moody, brooding and violent when he drank, so we all pretty much curled up in the embryo position when the 'fun' started to end. I have NO good memories of any family holiday - mostly the money was spent on jail fines or booze and they always ended with my father and his brothers fighting amongst each other. Interestingly, my dad didn't physically abuse me as much as my mother wound up doing, but he was very hard on my oldest brother who was not his birth son which hurt me just as bad as if he'd hit me.

Mostly, they both held high standards for us kids. We were to do exactly as we were told, have perfect manners, not talk back and never ever dispute their word.

I can't say either of them were 'crazy', but they were two extremely messed up people, both who had been abused and neglected in their own childhoods. For a long time, I tried to think they did the best they could with what they had to work with, but only since I've become an adult has it become apparent to me what a truly terrible situation we were forced to live in and that it wasn't 'normal' for lots of people to live that way. I never realized how desperately poor we were and how truly deprived we were as children. Not because we couldn't have had better, but because our parents didn't strive to make things better for us. Alcohol was the big thing in our dad's life and controlling/enabling the men in her life was our mother's main focus. We were basically just accidents - mouths to be fed, never encouraged to be our own people or ever expect anything out of our lives except to take care of ourselves and not make waves. Forget things like self esteem, group activities, no Girl Scouts, no cheerleading, no slumber parties, never draw attention to our home or ask anything 'maternal or paternal' from either of them... We merely existed - me becoming the invisible, self reliant one..

In many ways, it's to my advantage. I don't rely on anyone. I CAN take care of myself, but that can end up a very lonely situation too...

Don't talk, don't trust, don't feel...no wonder you learn to 'stuff' it all inside..

wannabskinny2 · July 28, 2005

Wow! You ladies deserve more than medals. I thought I had it bad...my mom has multiple personality disorder so I never knew what was going on. She either hated me ot loved me to death. We didn't find out about her problem until I was about 22 or 23 but when we did find out it was like oooooo! We always did call her crazy...we have proof now! LOL!