female only Viagra in his suitcase before trip

[Cathrine Ray 0]

I had something sorta like this happen to me many moons ago.... Go with your gut.. It is hard to do. Hang in there. You really know down deep.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Wow! Is he willing to take that test?

[Chris61 0]

What happens if he does not wish to take that test? What if the test comes back with non conclusive information? What if he pass with no problems than what are you going to do?

Chris

[aubrie 6]

where would you go to have a test of this nature done? who would do it?

[gabi311b 0]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I understand tests like this are on the expensive side. There are people that will do them but again it's you get what you pay for. The level of equipment and such differs drastically.

I say go with your gut...I've been cheated on before and at one point tried to regain the trust and ended up just getting hurt again. Never again will I make that mistake! You are worth more than that!!!

[Mizzoupoodle 0]

The polygraph is give by lots of places. We would probably use Pacific Polygraphs. They do a voice polygraph that is 98% accurate and is used by the CIA, the FBI and lots of other reptuable places including insurance agencies of all things!! It is done over the phone and takes 15 minutes.

He has a choice whether or not he takes the polygraph. Please understand that if the viagra in his suitcase was the only thing that was an issue in our marriage I might not be so insistent. He travels for work and I need peace of mind. I am trying to be prepared for whatever the results of the polygraph are, regardless. I'm sure it isn't going to be easy.

If he refuses the test, I will have a decision to make.

[mv031161 0]

I havent read all the post responses but I will offer my opinion as a man...

Unless he is staring at himself for hours in front of a mirror with that 4 hour erection or using the pill for you, I can guarantee you he is cheating on you.

No one, I mean No man, wants to have a rocket for that long if you are not going to use it properly with a woman and if he does use it for manual labor, he is one sick puppy! :omg_smile:

I have enjoyed Viagra with my wife and your head (Brain...not the little fellow) hurts and your face burns!!! not a pleasent experience in my experience

[Mizzoupoodle 0]

Mitch, thanks for your opinion. I have been trying to stay objective as I possibly can and it helps to hear opinions from women AND men. My gut has given me a very bad feeling, though, and I guess I think I probably know what the polygraph results will be.

He's said NO to the polygraph. I said think it over for a couple of days. At that point if and when he continues to refuse, I will go with my gut.

[mv031161 0]

Mitch, thanks for your opinion. I have been trying to stay objective as I possibly can and it helps to hear opinions from women AND men. My gut has given me a very bad feeling, though, and I guess I think I probably know what the polygraph results will be.

He's said NO to the polygraph. I said think it over for a couple of days. At that point if and when he continues to refuse, I will go with my gut.

Sorry If I was blunt. I'll give him the benefit of doubt but as I said before, you dont need Viagra for your own pleasure. Sorry to know you are going through this...Somehow I know you had the band done for you first and for him as well. I dont believe in plolygraphs. they can be bypassed. All he has to do is wiggle his toe while he is answering and it will never record. believe me when I tell you this little secret I learned in the service.

I dont know how much fate you have, but a priest or a pastor might be your easier solution. No one will lie at church

Edited September 11, 2008 by mv031161

[Hazel-eyes 0]

I am sorry you are going through this sad situation. I hope it comes to a conclusion soon and you can start refocusing your energy on other things. I hope you find comfort from your lap-band friends. Best wishes...

[CMTurner 0]

Sylvia

Did you ever figure out if he has used any pills when you weren't involved? Do you have insurance that covers your prescriptions? If so, you can ask for a print out of your family prescription fills/refills and see if the tally adds up to how many he has gotten from the pharmacy and how many you as a couple have used. Also good ammo if the numbers are all skewed. Just a thought.

I think if you feel you know he wouldn't pass a polygraph, you probably know what you need to do for yourself. You need to think of you and the children if any are involved (sorry I don't remember if you said there were). If you ever need to talk, I am here for you.

[plain 12]

He's said NO to the polygraph.

I know a little something about polygraphs. They cannot distinguish the "truth" from "a lie". The whole examination is set up to play a huge mind game on the subject. There are a ton of little tricks used. In fact, one of the biggest questions they ask is "have you done any research on polygraphs".

Government agencies and some private companies might use the polygraph (and it is a little more accurate when used in a serial manner, where you can yearly polys), but that doesn't mean that it does what they say it does.

If the polygraph could REALLY tell the difference between a truth and a lie, it'd be used in criminal cases.

[kimaly 57]

I wouldn't have questioned him about them I would have just counted them and not let him know I knew they were there and then counted them again when he got home. then you would have known for sure, I don't think you could lie your way out of taken them. No cheater in then world is worth it children or not. I mean what exsample is that for the kids: it's ok to be a cheater and to lie and it's ok for someone to disrespect you. i think not. Just my opinion. good luck. it's a hard painful road. but i don't think you can have a marrage without trust.

[tapshoes 2]

I wouldn't go the polygraph route - as other posters have indicated it is not the reliable tool we think it is. Think of it this way, if he fails the polygraph - he has betrayed you. If he passes it, does this mean he did not betray you, or just he finagled a way to 'fool' the test? If he fooled the test, then he has betrayed you. If he did not betray you, you still have an underlying trust issue . If he refuses the polygraph, does it mean he has betrayed you? or does it mean, he is hurt at your lack of trust.

Either way you cut it, regardless of the outcome there is an issue of trust. It's a losing situation.

Get counselling for yourslef, start to protect your interests in case you did split (your own bank account, etc), start collecting every possible bit of information, scan documents and back them up on separate discs and store those in a safety deposit box, etc.

[Kathy1991 0]

I say a wife knows where the viagra is. So, no, you are not crazy. You know where he's going on the trip, right? And you know how long he's going to be gone? So, can you do some investigating and figure out what might be going on? If anything. Is it remotely possible that he picked up some of his clothes and the bottle came w/ them unintentionally?

We all want to think the best. You are not crazy. The wife knows about the viagra.

I will be praying for you tonight.

Ks