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Having waited patiently for several weeks, I called the insurance company this morning to see where I am in the food chain (pun intended) for surgery approval. After being on hold for 45 minutes they said I had the wrong dept and should call Customer Care. Did that; after 1/2 hour waiting they told me a determination had already been made. When I asked what the outcome was, they said I had to call my doctor for that information. Just the tone she used was so discouraging. I called the doctor's office and of course got the care manager's voice mail. Not knowing is the hardest part of waiting. At this point even a rejection would be preferable to the uncertainty; at least they can then start the process of appealing. From you who have been there, what's the best way to handle a rejection without turning to a triple-dip hot fudge sundae? Maybe I'll get a big surprise but I'm not counting on it. I need a hug.

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Hi...I know how aweful the waiting is. My friend Alice (who lost 100 pounds on Atkins 4 years ago and is now a size 4, btw) gave me the best advice about the whole chaotic process.

This is what she said...

You are now fat megan. Over there in a far off corner is skinny megan. The first thing you have to do is to get fat megan off the chair she's been sitting on...the chair is my comfort zone- everything is nicely in it's place and I can control everything. You've done that- you've made appointments, gotten some good thinking done, and made the decision to go ahead with WLS. But, once you're off the chair, the chaos begins. If you look down, however, there are stepping stones below you, holding you up. As the chaos insues (food issues, family, relationships, doctors appointments, tests, etc.) keep your eye on skinny megan and tell her not to give up...you're coming for her. You don't know where or when the stepping stones will reveal themselves to you, you just gotta believe they are there, waiting for the time you are ready to take the next steps.

I'm not sure if that helps you or not, but it sure helped me feel a little more grounded in everything and to keep my eye on the prize.

The other thing that you may want to do is look into another doctor if you're not happy with the service you're getting at your present one. See this as a great opportunity to start sticking up for yourself and don't get beaten by the system! Fight for your skinny self!!!

Good luck, and keep us posted...

Megan

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Dear Megan,

Thank you so much! That is exactly what I needed right now. I love the analogy!! I've trying to convince myself that even if I'm not approved, I'm going to act as though I have been - and try to follow the program, including Atkins. There IS a skinny me trying to get out and has been struggling to get free for at least 30 years. I'm happy to hear that your friend was able to keep the weight off; success stories are the lifeblood of these forums. Thank you again!!!!!

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Hug, Hug Hug Hug!!!!

Waiting is the hardest part of the process. I started at the wrong surgeons office. Their requirements were more stringent than my insurance company. The docs office was slow, non responsive and tied to a state university. I switched docs and the process roared ahead at a rapid pace. It sounds like you will know something soon. I think what kept my spirits buoyed was I knew that there were other options even if my insurance co said no. I could go to Mexico and have it done, I could take out a loan and have it done, I could appeal etc... Just know that you have lots of options, stay optimistic and everything will happen in good time. THis info is brought to you by the "most impatient person in the universe"!

babs in TX

334/285/180

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I second both of the above comments. I was denied. It would have been better if I had been approved, of course. But I just told myself that the surgery is less expensive than an inexpensive car and my health is more important than a car. I know I wouldn't worry about a car payment, so why should I worry about a loan payment for surgery? - especially when I am planning to deduct it from my taxes?

Nancy

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Nancy, Babs, Megan -

Thanks for the hugs and encouragement. It is so helpful to get a fresh perspective from others. It seems the majority of us have to wait - and wait - and wait some more just to hear something, or to be able to progress to the next step. It's that instant gratification that has been such a factor for us in the past that makes this waiting period so unbearable. WE WANT IT NOW!!! NOT TOMORROW or NEXT WEEK!!! NOW!! (Do I sound like a spoiled brat?) Hopefully I can tame this tiger and use the waiting period constructively. Thank you again! :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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