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God.....Lapband.....Boats



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Thanks for all the wonderful replies. I have accepted my "friends" anger as her own issue and not mine! She has 150lbs to loose, and maybe she is experiencing fear and jealousy about being the "only" fat one in a group when we go some where......... there is comfort in being with another "fat" person. I have long timed learned that the only person in this world that can make me unhappy......is ME! I cannot control someone elses emotions........but I CAN control how i react to these emotions. But i also know, that i need to distance myself from negative people...... and I hope and pray that she finds her path to better health...... my direction is heading toward the lapband!

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I loved this thread... I recently went out this weekend with friends and they noticed i'm looking a little thinner because I"M STARVING myself to get the 26 lbs off before surgery. Anyways one of my male friends said you look good keep up the good work... I heard you were considering surgery!!! Please reconsider look in the mirror you have such a beautiful face!! I almost SCREAMED !! Thank you but do u realize I haven't seen my private parts in years ! Do you know I can barley fit in an airplane seat and I travel for my job.. Did you know I have to tell my kids I can't fit in a rollercoaster seat so they have to go themselves. People who have never struggled will never understand but those who truly love me have been exreamly supportive and all the wonderful people on this site make each day easier. Good Luck in your journey.:thumbup:

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Thank you for posting this. I really like it. I've been praying all along "Lord, if this be a good thing, then help me get approved". I was approved on Friday and now have a surgery date for August 20th. I do believe it is my life boat.

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I'm so sorry your friend was like that with you. I'm sure that hurt. I'm sure some people, for whatever reason, "just don't get it" about a lot of things.

I'm at the very beginning of all this. I'm so glad I found this site ! My first meeting is Aug 12 and I can't wait ! I have only told a few people from my church what I'm looking into, but I knew they would be there for me, I knew they would support me. I've been through a lot medically and other ways since 2000 and my church has seen me through it.

Please don't let her attitude affect you. You are doing what you know you need to do for yourself. God can heal...yes, but God has also given us doctors who can do these awesome procedures for us !

It makes us healthier and we all know that's good !!!! :biggrin2:

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being a christian myself and coming from a christian family with a father who is a minister. i have found that it is the "christians" who are always the most neg, nasty, and mean about anything that seems odd or strange or that they simply do not understand. it is a sad fact that there are people out there who just dont get it. i have a sister who at first told me she thought i was cheating but then she changed her mind when she saw how hard it was from the day of surgery to today. a whole whopping 8 days!! now she calls me and sees how i am doing and we are good. i have another sis who when i told i was thinking about it her reaction was to tell me she didnt think it was in my best medical interest:rolleyes2: bc she did a diet and lost like 70 pounds and i did the diet and lost nothing so i obviously didnt do the diet right:blink: she still doesnt know i have had the surgery bc i dont need that right now. i am the youngest of 9 children so i only have 2 siblings in my generation all the others are OLD!!!! (no offense anyone:biggrin:)

so i just think they dont get it.

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Thank you for sharing your story. So many of us have gone through the same experience that you have with your friend. If you have made peace with you choice, then that is all that matters.

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Thanks for all the wonderful replies. I have accepted my "friends" anger as her own issue and not mine! She has 150lbs to loose, and maybe she is experiencing fear and jealousy about being the "only" fat one in a group when we go some where......... there is comfort in being with another "fat" person. I have long timed learned that the only person in this world that can make me unhappy......is ME! I cannot control someone elses emotions........but I CAN control how i react to these emotions. But i also know, that i need to distance myself from negative people...... and I hope and pray that she finds her path to better health...... my direction is heading toward the lapband!

Sandlily, then I congratulate you on a wise choice. When the time comes when you have lost a good amount of weight, invite your friend to lunch, and show her how wonderful you feel, maybe she will then think about having the Lap Band. She may have read about it and been afraid of ding it. She may just be jealous that you have done it before herself.

I would bring along a few brochures about it and give them to her. She may at that time just be waiting for that little "push" to look into it herself. Best of luck and I love your attitude. Take care.:thumbup::thumbup:

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Thank you for the post.. I questioned what the response would be when some of the people at our church found out.. I would normally ask for their prayers when I have the surgery but am debating on that right now because of the type of response that you are getting.. also comments about putting faith in god to help me be strong and have willpower.. I have done that and am still doing that, and will have to continue to do that for the rest of my life. You take miracles where you can get them. I am afraid for my life and of it being cut short because of my health.

You are obviously really hurt by your friends support and mayby hoping she would be a source of strength for you. I would collect my thoughts and approach her again and tell her you were really hurt by her response and see where it was coming from. More often then not people speak without thinking that words can hurt. I am using my own advice at the moment,, after taking sometime to regroup from the sting..

Hope you can work it out!

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Trust me, I do know what you mean about people who just don't understand. I have 2 siblings like that and they are 15 years older than me, but you sure can't tell it. I had a very serious medical procedure done in 2005 and they still can't believe my life is better. What do they think had the surgery for.....DUH ! I heard that from a reliable family member, not directly from them. If I would have heard it directly from them, they might have regretted it : )

I'm sorry you're running into that, people can be such rude idiots sometimes. But.....the important thing is you know you have done the right thing, you know it is going to be awesome what the band can do for you ! I don't think too many of us decide to to this on a whim, without trying other things, without really thinking about it. Just know you have lots of friends and support here and as people see the change in you they just might change too, but don't wait on them !!!! Just be yourself and do this for you. :thumbup:

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I have found that it is better not to discuss banding with friends and family, as like you I have found people both defensive and aggressive. You do your thing. Life is not a dress rehearsal and you only have one chance to be who and what you want to be. God loves you and if this issue is important to you it is important also to him. He is on your side, not against you. Whatever issues your friend has, let them remain with her. But remember, you don't have to catch every brick that is thrown

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Thank you but do u realize I haven't seen my private parts in years ! Do you know I can barley fit in an airplane seat and I travel for my job.. Did you know I have to tell my kids I can't fit in a rollercoaster seat so they have to go themselves. People who have never struggled will never understand :thumbup:
I had to check and see if I wrote this as everything you said I could have (and have) said.

Anyway to the O.P. You're friend was certainly not acting Christian and its definatly not a cop out.

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i'm sorry your friend is being so down about your choice. I hope she can realize this is your gift from God to helpyou loose the weight. What does she say to people with pace makers and birth control.......oh God will help your heart, oh God wont let you get pregnant he'll help..

No God gave us free will to make choices and decisions and gave the brilliant doctors and scientist the ability to pro long our lives and help protect us and live a healthier life style...

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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