When I told a "friend" about my desire to look into the Lapband as a tool, She became very angry with me! and almost hateful. She said, i was copping out! along with other hurtful things. She is a ministry major in college. Well I actually began to doubt my thought process, I mean i've prayed about this and all, as I do rely on my Faith for daily decisions..... well a story i heard in Church years ago came to me..... and I wrote it in my Lapband Journal at Home....... i'd like to share the entire entry with you,

~ one day a great flood hit a small town, A man was able to climb onto the roof of his house, the flood Water rose higher and higher.... the man prayed "dear Lord, save me from this flood." twenty minutes later a boy in a Row boat came past, and told the man to get into the boat. The man refused saying "no thank you, I asked God, and I trust that He will save me." The young boy sadly shook his head and left. The water rose higher still, until it was level with the roof. A family came by in a motor boat, again the man refused to get in stating again that God would save him. Finally with the man holding tightly to the chimney, with the water up to his neck, A helicopter came by, dropped a ladder, and told the man to climb on.. once again the man refused. Moments later he was swept away to his death. When he got to Heaven and met with God, He asked God with Anger in his voice .. "God, I trusted you, why didn't you save me?" God looked deeply into his eyes, and said "...... i sent you two boats and a helicopter what more did you want?" ~

Yeah God could make me thinner and healthier over night, I've prayed to God about my weight. I so wish he would just "take it off" for me. God doesn't always work that way, Sometimes He sends boats and helicopters, or sometimes He sends Surgeons and Lapbands!!!!

You should let your friend know that Lap-Band is not a instant weight loss program. It is a tool to help you and is hard work. Nothing you get from the Band is just handed to you. I don't think your friend is being a good friend at all. Also to treat you like that is not what God's teachings taught her. She is being a hypocrite. Stay strong and ask God to forgive her.

friends don't treat friends that way, and honestly it doesn't sound overly Christian of her.

I think she needs to be more open to you and I hope she comes around, b/c we all need the support.

thank you for sharing your story.

friends don't treat friends that way, and honestly it doesn't sound overly Christian of her.

I think she needs to be more open to you and I hope she comes around, b/c we all need the support.

thank you for sharing your story.

Oh My goodness if she was any sorta friend she would be accepting what you want it is not like you would not have done research and if she wants to be neg you don't need that kind of person in your life as a real friend would not do that to you.....

Yeah I know how you feel about your friend....mine totally abandoned me and has not spoken to me since I had surgery on 4/28....we had a 20 + year friendship I was brokenhearted but I am pretty much over it now!!! I think in my case it just boiled down to plain old jealousy:angry_smile:.

Sandibly, I understand your feelings too. I finally revealed my surgery to another friend of mine one week after surgery. He told me it was an expensive cop out. Then proceeded to tell me how he had lost 40 lbs with just diet alone. Good for him, but apparently MY body doesn't work that way. I was gonna cry and just hang up, but instead, I told him that the only people who call it a "cop out" were people who had NO CLUE all the hard work that it involved and that he should truly research it in his spare time. That hushed him up and I changed the subject.

Well I feel strongly that the Lapband has been an answer to years of prayers. I have finally found a way to lose the weight, like I have been praying for. I believe that God inspires people to invent things, including surgeries. Sorry you had a bad experience with this friend.

Sandibly,

I loved your story. Thanks for sharing. I have had similar comments from friends and family, but they are seeing that it isn't all that easy for me. Sometimes, I don't know if it is from them really thinking it is an easy way out or if it is just the thought of what they feel they would be depriving themselves if the shoe were on the other foot. Maybe it is a social thing for some as well.

Many celebrations, fun times with the girls/guys, work meetings, etc...most often center around food. Now that we are more conscious with the band way of life, we aren't apt to indulge as others would and it makes them feel self conscious about themselves or we no longer seem as fun to them.

I use to go on lunch dates with my girlfriends or we would get together and have dinner and drinks, but now I don't get invited as much, because they figure I can't eat anything anyway. It try not to let it bother me because I suppose it helps both sides. They can't hurt me by tempting me to eat foods I don't need to be eating and they can in turn enjoy their meals without feeling self conscious about their own bad eating habits.

I do have one co-worker who had gastric bypass and she initially did very well. She was starting to get off track, but now since I have been banded, we keep each other on track, so she has been a blessing to me.

Nothing about this lifestyle is easy and I believe we are all brave people for enduring and persevering through all the negativity. God Bless you and best wishes to you and everyone else.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

It really upsets me when people say it is a cop out. A cop out of what??????? Agony? Dieting the "old fashion" way is pure agony. Its as if people don't think you deserve to lose weight unless you torture and deprive yourself food. Why? Why does it have to be that way? Why don't we deserve to lose weight just like everyone else??? After years and years of diet after diet and failure after failure, you would think people would be excited for us that have found this new tool. It just totally amazes me that people are so insensitive and judgmental that they can't see the agony that the weight puts us through. Good luck and know that although God could take the weight off right now, WE are the ones who put it on.....shoving food into our mouths....we should be the ones to take it off.....

Bottom line is that you need to do what is right for you irregardless of what one misguided friend says. I just had my band put in a couple of days ago and it's far from a "cop out." It's practically been a full time job measuring food, preparing food, drinking Protein shakes, drinking Water, taking Vitamins and staying active.

I know many people out there will have a negative opinion of what I have done. It sure hurts, but being obese for as long as I have been has hurt me way more.

How sad that someone who is supposed to be a "Christian" has such meanness in her heart. She should look inward as to why she treated you this way. I agree God helped someone to invent this procedure and make it available to people who really need this. My 7 month journey to Lap Banding (will be banded on Thursday) was as hard as any diet I have ever been on. It's no cop out at all. It will take guts to go through with everything. Is this "friend" of yours a heavy person or a very very thin one? Sometimes either one can be jealous of you and your choice to be healthy and thinner.

Best of Luck

Pati

I absolutely love this. Thank you for posting this! I'm so glad I found it. What an amazing analogy.

Your attitude is wonderful! Even the best believers sometimes have blind spots. Charity "never faileth," but we can and do let charity down frequently. Sounds like your friend needs a friend. Maybe you are her rowboat to help save her from a misperception regarding the scope second of the two greatest commandments. I sure hope that rowboat (or heliocopter) is there for me when I forget!

wow - I can't believe some people. I have a neighbour that I won't tell because I believe she will view it as copping out also. She just lost 20lbs and keeps talking about it....well if I only had 20lbs to lose then perhaps I would try her diet!!!!! Copping out it is not - the pain of surgery, the measuring, the lifestyle change and for me the financial part is not something to take lightly. Hang in there and keep coming here for support.

So many people have health problems. And there are so many ways to deal with them. If I had a heart problem and a pacemaker would fix it, would I refuse? Like in your story I believe that God gives us tools to help us along our way. We can't expect huge miracles for problems that could be solved with a tool, hard work and faith. When my husband and I were discussing me getting the lapband, he said "I don't think that God would have someone make a tool and then not have us use it". I pray that you will have guidance at this time of decisions!!!

Thanks for all the wonderful replies. I have accepted my "friends" anger as her own issue and not mine! She has 150lbs to loose, and maybe she is experiencing fear and jealousy about being the "only" fat one in a group when we go some where......... there is comfort in being with another "fat" person. I have long timed learned that the only person in this world that can make me unhappy......is ME! I cannot control someone elses emotions........but I CAN control how i react to these emotions. But i also know, that i need to distance myself from negative people...... and I hope and pray that she finds her path to better health...... my direction is heading toward the lapband!