Since deciding that I needed to have this surgery everywhere I go there are mirrors.. My daughter and I went school shopping and stopped at friendlys for dinner... I walk in and theres a big old gold distorted mirror,, I ordered a salad and left there still hungry.. we went to an applebees and whats on the door?? another silver plated mirror... we split a meal and I still felt guilty..

I am starting to think that I have been in denial about my appearance for a very long time, and am ashamed of myself, and embarrassed that other people have been seeing this. I almost feel like people are looking at me differently then before. I haven't gained weight, but have not lost any in a long time. I also noticed that I never look in full length mirrors even at home,, shoulders up,, and never, ever, nekked!!

I have also begun to notice other overweight people and after watching that pbs show, wonder what their story is and why they are overweight. Everyone has a story as you can read in here, and are judged so horribly for things that are out of our control.. I am struggling every minute of everyday not to eat too much, give in or give up, be physically active somehow and it is exhausting at best. I am terrified that I won't be able to lose the 5% I am going to be required to lose.. and those damn mirrors with that person looking back at me with the double chin and baggy cloths that are trying to hide my belly!! ahhhh It was easier being clueless!!! If I wasn't so worried about my health and being alive to raise my kids I probably would have never noticed how bad I had gotten.

I am praying that I will get my golden letter this week with my appointment schedules so some of this anxiety will settle down..

has anyone else just had a rude awakening??:confused2:

Edited August 3, 200817 yr by wickedme
sp

OMG OMG OMG I know exactly what you mean I see Mirriors everywhere even when it's just my reflection in windows or car doors or god anywhere that there is a reflection I look at my self and think How did I let myself get this bad and then I remember I have issues with food but I always think afterward that I'M ON MY WAY i'm making a choice to do something that will help make me a healthier and skinnier person and one day I will look in the reflection and be like "Hell Yeah Your Hot!" that and I also notice all the people I see that I now realize are morbidly obese it's like I didn't really notice it before but now I wanna walk up to them and be like seriously check out this surgery but until you make this realization yourself, if someone would have said that to me I would have either decked them or hid myself and cried. I just wish more people realize that they could get help to be healthier and not only that but until I started doing research on Lapband I didn't realize how much crap I wasn't doing because of my weight and everything that I was missing out on and I mean my list goes on and on. But yeah I've had this shocking revolation and it's definatly shocking :biggrin: