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Do you ever feel like a freak?


Guest momtotheboys

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Guest momtotheboys

I am pre-op and need to lose about 175 lbs. but most of the time I feel like a side show freak. I can hardly walk and take care of daily tasks is becoming harder each day. But the thing that bothers me is the aloneness I feel. I love this board and my other support board. I know you can't really understand until you alk in a persons shoes. But it would be so nice if people had more compassion and less judgemental feelings for the obese. If I had any other kind of handicapping dieases people would look at me in a whole different light. Ok, sorry to vent. Thanks for all the support each and everyone of you give to this board. God bless, Donna(preop Punkin')

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Feeling like a side show freak is one of the reasons why my doctor put me on Zoloft...back in 2002 I needed to lose 200 pounds and over a period of one year I lost 120 pounds on Weight Watchers....then my mother had a heart attack, I got married, and the weight started piling on....now I'm in 2005, my mother died last year (it'll be one-year on tomorrow), still have my hubby, but have gained 100 pounds back that I've lost....

I was placed on Zoloft back in 2003 because I was diagosed with post tramatic stress/depression...I was (and still am) harder on myself than anyone else can be, and when I started gaining weight, well that was the straw that broke the camel's back...

When my mother died in 2004 at age 55, it made me take a LONG look at my life...she was overweight, I'm overweight....I need to do something about this before it gets too late...so I started the process for RNY, my insurance denied me 3 times, then I found out about Dr. Spivak and the Lapband, attended one of his information sessions, and was hooked...the Lapband is for me, but I wasn't about to goto Mexico to have it done (actually my supervisor is Mexican and she told me that if she had the choice she would go with a doctor in the US) so I've taken out a loan, and I'm scheduled for Lapband placement on June 28th...

Praise God!!!

Paulap

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I don't feel like a freak, I am one. Being overweight is just one of my freak problems. I'm too tall (6 ft in heels.) I have huge 11 1/2 feet, so I can't find shoes. I have frizzy hair, an alcoholic father, a paranoid schitzophrenic mother, I'm 100% Polish, never got to have babies, etc. And while everything about me is huge, I have teeny tiny boobs (ha ha on me.)

However, none of those things bother me worse than my anxiety disorder. I could handle all the problems if I could just get some sleep and relax once in awhile. It's not the "being fat" that bothers me as much as the way my brain messes with me. Does that make an ounce of sense?

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Sorry to hear about the boobs. I feel like a freak when I'm around young children. When I walk thru my daughters daycare they look up at me with a look of "don't fall on me"!

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Oh Delarla, do we have that in common, too. I too suffer from anxiety disorder and can't ever sleep. Most nights I only get 3-4 hrs rough sleep. So the being exhausted and trying to raise three kids and have a full time job is a bit overwhelming at times. I have to take Ambien to sleep, but I think I'm getting addicted to the stuff, so I've been trying to go to sleep on my own this week, but it isn't working.

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Well, at least we have our humor! Afraid the kids will think, "don't fall on me" now that's damn funny.

A girl asked me where I got my boots. I told her from the World's Largest Shoe store in Pennsylvania. She said, "don't you mean the Shoe Store for the World's Largest Feet?"

Sometimes all we can do is laugh.

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Estela, and anyone else who has trouble sleeping, have you tried melatonin? That stuff is the bomb. I love it, and now Trader Joe's has chewables!!

I sleep wonderfully now. :)

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Melatonin keeps me awake. I think people with anxiety disorder get reverse actions to a lot of meds, at least I do.

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Ok Jack

Tell us how she cured you in about 30 minutes. Maybe I could hook up with this Jamaican person and get cured also. How could you tell us this big long story and then drop us like that!

Eileen

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I used to feel like a freak, didn't help that my mther and younger sister used to describe me as looking like a circus freak, especially when I was breast feeding. They told me that if I'd ever had another baby that they would have tried to discourage me from breastfeeding the new baby.

Wolves, the lot of them.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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