Ok, so I’ve got to get back into the swing of things.

I don’t know how the rest of you “tenacious tens” are doing, but I am not doing like I expected to be. I’ve only lost 14 lbs since October. Now, keep in mind that I have been unfilled since march. I did not gain anything during my unfill YEAH FOR ME, but I did not lose either. Now I have a fill, and I’ve found that I’m having trouble following the rules.

So I am going to get on here and post everyday and tell you what I have done, and what I haven’t.

First, these are my goals. I do not eat very healthy at all, and I do not exercise. So for this next week, my goal is to eat one piece of fruit and one vegetable (at least) per day and to exercise at least twice. Little, I know, but I’m pretty much starting over.

So, yesterday I scarfed down a whole 1700 calories. This only 2 days after a fill (I was filled Saturday). I’m decently tight, if I eat solid food, but instead I drank sweet tea, had ice cream and ate chips. So….now you know where I am starting. Today’s weight is 209, I will weigh again next Tuesday.

Ok, so here is my guilt so far. I went an purchased a dr.pepper because I’m so darn tired!!!! This after I drank 20 ounces of coffee and took b12. well, I can’t handle the soda, so I gave it away YEAH!!!!. I haven’t had breakfast yet, so I will post again later today.

Please join me. I’m going to share all and see if it helps, emotions, etc.

I will admit I have been going through a lot of emotional stuff lately with the miscarriage and everything else. I’m taking a lot of new medicine’s, and I seem to not want to ween from the pain pills like I should. This is a struggle when you are trying not to eat.

So, anyone else who feels the need to straighten up or stay straight, please join me.

My goal for today is 800 calories and at least 40 grams of protein (this will increase over time, I hope).

check-in from yesterday: 117 calories (465 minus days activities) and 18g Protein. i was sick yesterday and couldnt keep much down most the day. barely even fluids, it was was not fun. i was so thirsty but even sipping Water would make me vomit. there is a bug going around and i think i have it! i feel a little better today, but taking it slow. being sick yesterday has irritated my belly like no other and i am super tight today. even small sips of water take time going through.

bandster-hope you are doing ok. you sounded like bad shape.

i'm back at work now, feeling better. i don't know why they won't recommend putting a tube in my ear to decrease my ear infections. i get one in my right ear about ever 3 months.

goodness want..i sure hope you feel better, i know how that goes. it sucks being sick, but i think it sucks double when you have the band. try to eat ice chips. that always works with me because no matter how small i try to sip if i'm thirsty, i'm sip a lot more than i want too.

so far today i have had 160 calories and 2 grams of Protein. not doing too good today. i'm also having migraines..one right now is making the right eye not see, so if i close my left eye i cannot see the words i am typing unless i try to use my peripheral vision. I HAVE HORRIBLE MIGRAINES.

ok, i've not been able to eat all weekend. apparently (sp?) i caught some virus. so, i'm not going to dwell on that, but...i've been drinking my calories definately. most of them came back up...but ..

my scale is broken. i'm not sure if i will get a new on by tuesday or not. my 7 year old decided to turn his bathtub into a whirlpool the other day (while he was taking a shower) and after a flood, the scale no longer works ). i need a new battery i think.

here are some quotes for the days: (since i missed so many)

so my diet has not been the greatest, but i've exercised 2 times over the weekend. i got the walking video. i like it. harder than i thought.

want..how are you doing? i sure hope you are feeling better.

"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do."

Voltaire

"Recognize that life is what you get when you're born ... living is what you do with it."

Jim Allen

"Just because you're a supernatural, unstoppable, manifesting machine, doesn't mean you can't ask for help. A lot of help. And fully expect to receive it."

Mike Dooley

"Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them."

John Updike

ugh, i had a hell of a weekend. so friday i posted how i wasnt feeling well and couldnt keep Water down. friday evening it continued to get worse and i had the worst heartburn i have ever had in my life. nothing i took or did helped it. by friday night i was ready to go to the hospital. i thought something was seriously wrong. i hurt into my back and shoulders, and omg, i cant even explain how bad it hurt!

sat i couldnt drink anything. nothing. could barely swallow my own spit. sunday was the same way. sunday we were helping hay so that means outside in the hot hot weather all day. i would take a drink of water, just hold it in my mouth and then spit it out. sunday evening i felt so ill. i was lighthead and couldnt focus. during the night i woke up gaggin on Fluid. almost like i had vomitted in my sleep. that happened twice and then i vomitted some black pastey stuff. it was gross!

so yesterday i called the doc. he had me come in for an emergency visit. they did a complete unfill and i have to stay unfilled for a month, then go back. he said that being so close to goal i had my band perty tight. but i also had not taken any sort of antacid or anything. he thinks that i just had a build up of acid and it irritated things to the point that even though i had started taking stuff it was just too late.

i felt almost instant relief when he pulled the fluid. i could drink right away. it was still a weird feeling though.

so now my goal is to really really be on top of it this next month. i dont want to gain any weight back! i am going to continue to eat and measure my food just like i was. record my calories, workout. basically try to forget that i am empty

omg want...that is horrible. i'm can relate to being sick, but not like that. i haven't been able to keep anything down in almost a week now.

i'm so glad you are feeling better. i bet you were very dehydrated. ok, we'll keep this up and that should help you. i had an unfill and i didn't gain anythign when i did.

i lost 8 1/2 pounds since last tuesday. i have not been able to eat. it should slow significantly when i start eating again. i'm now down to 199.0 WHEW HEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how are you feeling want???

quote of the day:

"The successful man is the average man, focused."

Source Unknown

way to go banster! 8 1/2 lbs! thats awesome. but why cant you eat? is your band too tight? are you still sick? i hope you are feeling better. i know i am! well, sort of...

i am being so flipping stupid. eating crap i shouldnt! this week has just been crazy with the county fair going on. we are super busy, running all the time and dont get home until late. then my son's lamb was dq'ed from the fair. it caused a bunch of drama and i have been worked up and upset and furious for days. i wanted to kick some people's butt's for making my baby cry! jerks!

anyway, we havent been getting home until late and we eat in town at the fair and i have been making bad decisions with a capital "B"! and then i go home and cry because i am being so stupid. i started doing the whole, well, i screwed up today so i might as keep going and just start over tomorrow. why the hell am i doing this? i thought i was past that. i thought i had this head crap under somewhat of control.

i have to get my head back under control before i end up gaining a ton before i can get refilled! i mean how stupid can i be? after losing what i have and coming so far, why am i gonna screw it up for a month and then just have that much more to lose once i get filled again.

today's goal is to keep my self in check. i brought string cheese and yogurt to work. i have my Water and crystal light and my lemon juice and my gum. i can do this.

one of the only people who know i had this done keeps telling me to just think like i am filled stlil. think to myself....oh god, i dont even want to try that because last time it got stuck... or something along those lines. i kinda half assed that, but then was like, omg-i havent eat bla bla bla for almost a year now. and i just wanna taste.... yeah well, that would be all well and good if one bite is where it stopped!

hope you are feeling better and able to eat something bandster!

i'm eating now.

stop blaming yourself and calm down. It will help you eat a more sensible diet. before each bite ask yourself if it is worth it. sometime's it will be. most of the time it won't. eat what you are craving, just don't eat a lot.

and although you could use this as an excuse, try not to, but remember, if you could've controlled all of this on your own, you would not have needed the band. the more you beat yourself up the worse it is going to be. keep coming here and venting.

ok, i'm not giving up on this:

i do not know how much i weight cuz, my scale is broken...lol.

so, goals for this week: exercise 3 !!! times. increase Water and only allow myself "other" drink once per day. (except coffee). track calories again.

come on want!!! let's do this. i'm finally not nauseated or throwing up. it's nice to eat and not throw up...i thought i was just going to stay that way for a while.

want, don't let yourself beat yourself down. you can do this, we can do this together. you will get your fill back soon.

bandster-sorry i have kinda been mia. its been a crazy couple days at work with it being end of the month and trying to get books closed and statements done. things should calm down no the end of the week. i hope so anyways.

tomorrow we are taking the kids to an amuzement park. and we are going ot the Water park that is there too. i am so excited! for the first time in i cant remember when, i am excited to go to the water park! i could not find a new swim suit in town so my dearest hubby who i just love stopped on his way home in another town and took it upon himself to find me one. he was so cute and sweet, calling me asking questions. so he gets home with 2 new suits, and ya know what? i like them both! and they both look good and fit good! one is a size 12 and the other is a 16. weird huh? the 16 is made of this super-duper hold your gut in material. holy crap, its hard to get on! but it looks good! he is not known for being supportive of me so this whole swimsuit thing is just blowing me away. he told me he just wants me to be comfortable and able to have fun and not be worrying about it.

i am doing better eating without a fill. went kinda nuts-o there for a few days...but am better the last few. thank goodness! still cant wait to get the fill back and start losing again.

hope you are doing well bandster.

i am doing fine. i seem to be sabotaging myself. i got down to 198 and now i'm back up to 200. i've been eating like crap. being perfectly honest though this is the week before my period, and i tend to do this. it's funny i just went two weeks without wanting anything sweet, i would prepare ice cream and then put it away, didn't want anything (except coke's...my weakness). then...all the sudden....i want sweets and chips and dip...and caffeine....

and my lower back feels like it is literally splitting apart. during my miscarriage when i had the d & c, that was overdue and after i already had severe infection, ...they ended up doing 2 additional surgeries at the same time....anyways....there was this staple lodged in my pelvis from a previous surgery...my lower back never hurt before, and now that they removed it...it is killing me!!!!

..i'm sure it is just a coincidence...........it's probably cramps..but it sucks nonetheless..

i am going to this new gym this week..don't think curves is going to do it for me...i want to try an elliptical.

quote of the day:

"Your power is proportional to your ability to relax."

David Allen

I had my surgery on 10/8/07 and I have lost about 30lbs. I get really frustrated because I don't eat nearly as much as I did before the surgery. But I have realized some of the things that I am doing wrong. For instance I use to drink diet moutain dew before the surgery. I need caffine so I changed to ice tea and add Splenda but I have noticed that when I add the sweetner my stomach starts growling soon after. I need to give that up. I feel fuller longer in the mornings if I have a protein drink. Also I need to drink more water.

I have been stuck at the 30lb mark now for a month. I do know how everyone feels. I still think about what am I going to try and eat for the next meal. I am discouraged and when I feel like I have no control I eat. I can use some support as well. I would love to blog daily with all of you. I am looking forward to hearing what everyone has to say. Have a great evening :w00t:!!!!!

WELCOME THANKFUL!!! We would be glad to have you join us for this blog.

i haven't been tracking my calories, but i have been following my one a day sweet drink rule. this is my "PMS" week, so i usually eat everything in sight....especially cheese dip, cheese in a can.......choco milk...onion dip....dairy dairy dairy..lol

i haven't exercised yet because i have been really busy. i should have went monday night..it was the only night that i didn't have anything to do.

tonight i'm going to try to do something before i take my son to his nanea's.

when i weighed on tuesday i still weighed 198..so if i can make it through this week without gaining too much, i'll be happy.

i've got to break this sweet drink habit..it's killing me. i can go all day and the only thing sweet i will have is the drink. ..and i hate the idea of drinking that artificial stuff.

ok, want how are you doing?

what about you thankful, are you exercising and logging your food? congrats on the 30lbs by the way!

quote of the day: (i like this one a lot)

"Much of the stress that people feel doesn't come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started."

David Allen

"Getting Things Done"

i am having a horrible day, and i'm definately emotionally eating..my dh is being a butt...and i'm being one too..neither of us are sleeping good. he works 3-11 so, i can't sleep because he's not there, and then he comes in and i wake up because i'm a light sleeper, then he sleeps on the couch because he can't go to sleep if i already am asleep..then i get mad....

ugh..i've got to get some sleep.

thankful- welcome! congrats on your 30lbs weight loss. thats great. do you or have you tried logging your calories? i was amazed when i started doing that. what i thought wasnt much, and it wasnt as much as i ate before, still held a large amount of calories! and all the "not much" things added up. you might try that. thedailyplate.com is the one i use. you can log your exercise as well. you might try that?

bandster-- did you get some sleep? i sleep so much better when my dh is home too. he works a week on and a week off. you would think after 4 years of this i would be used to it, and i guess i kind of am, but i still sleep better when he is home.

i have been doing just a crap job of eating well! i have to get things under control or i am going to be sorry.

oh! i have to share my nsv! so we took the kids to the Water park and i was ok! not worried about how i looked in my suit all the time. of course a few times i started to freak a little, you know, when the barbies walked by with their itsy bitsie bikinis on. or when my dh described this girl with "you know, the big tits that just walked by"....nice! and there i stand with my little girls carefully rolled up and stuffed into my suit. damn woman! but by and by it was a great day. i felt great. it was amazing to be feel that way. first time in forever!