We have now officially created that much-needed Family and Friends Support Group! If you have people around you who are curious about what life will be like with a "bandster," this is the place to be. Concerned about your bandster's health? Worried if you'll ever see the inside of a restaurant again once you have a lap band partner/spouse? Do you have a million questions about the whole medical thing? I'm right there with you! My partner was banded just last Monday, June 23rd, and I'm learning that this is about my own process as well as hers. Come join the discussion!

BadgerMom

"Feel the fear, and do it anyway."

Glad you finally made this, it will be very informative for bandsters relatives.

This is great to have. I have had the lapband, and my boyfriend has been feeling insecure at times. He asked if there were support groups for partners.

Do you have insecure feelings about your partner losing weight?

Celticheart

Yes, sometimes I do, but it's really all about her health, and when I see her so pleased to drop a size, it's worth it. Not to mention that I think she looks better to me. I think that the lapband process, for me, is a process that the two of us are involved in, not just her, so it's actually brought us together in some ways. I was able to build her recumbent exercise bike for her, and I was very selective about the restaurant we went to for our anniversary so she had lots of good and healthy menu choices.

The long and short of it is that if the relationship is going to change, it will change whether you lose weight or not. If you have a strong, supportive partnership, dropping a few sizes isn't going to shake it, nor will staying fat keep it together.

I think this is a "guy thing" - the idea that if a woman loses weight and feel good about herself and looks better that she'll bail on the relationship. Sure, if the guy is a total slob who has told her that she's so ugly that she should be grateful because he's the only person who would ever be willing to put up with her, that nonsense will probably come to a halt, but that kind of abuse should never have been going on in the first place, no matter what size the partners are.

Have your SO join the Friends and Family discussion. It's ok for him to have his feelings, and maybe we can offer some support.

Best of luck,

BadgerMom

I'm so glad you started this Forum.

My partner is supportive and wants to help. She is concerned about how life will change after I get banded. What will meals be like? She will feel like she is not being supportive if she eats regular foods and foods I can't eat and portions sizes I can no longer eat.

I'm being banded not her and we both eat healthy diets, not perfect and as so many I eat way too much.

Being just the two of us making meals will result in having tons of left overs and as everyone knows eating the same old thing for a week is not very fun.

How do you deal or handle this?

Thanks in advance for any advice, comments or recommendations.

My wife to be was banded january of this year but she has been struggling to eat the proper foods and i have been struggling her with leaving surgar alone and me with helping her eat right instead of suggesting things for her to eat i just give her what she wants canany one suggest ways that we both can get back on the band wagon i really want so see her suceed with this