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Guest Leslie2Lose

Ya'll I'm having a rough time mentally. I hate people who get on here a whine, but I am whining today. I ate crap all weekend (yes I know better!). I planned on running this morning - I slept in. I really need to go the the gym tonight, but promissed my nephew I'd go to his football game. I feel like if I do for me that I'm letting my family down. My girls begged me yesterday to take them to his game yesterday...I'm torn between me and them.

I yelled at DH and the kids all weekend too. It's like I have PMS x 10. I need to get refocused (I've been saying that for a month now). I know I'll feel better if I exercise. I haven't eaten so much junk since before being banded (and it was all yesterday). I'm not too tight - I just couldn't walk away. Help!?!?

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Leslie... its time to take care of YOURSELF and in doing so you will take care of your family. Honour your committment to your girls tonight by taking them to the game, but then once you're home, spend some time moving for yourself. It'll probably be too late to go outside for a run or to the gym, but get down on the floor and do some crunches, stretches, etc. Then don't committ to them for tomorrow... committ to yourself. You know the answer to what you need... as Nike ads say "Just Do It". But in the meanwhile, don't beat yourself up. S#/t happens, but the band is there for life and will save you from this. So let it go.

I know exactly what you're going through... trying to find the balance between yourself and your family (and work). Its never going to be easy, but putting guilt in there will always unbalance things even more.

Don't do the guilt thing... it never ends well!

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Leslie, it is ok. Everything is OK.

I am reading your post as everyone else is and thinking I did that, or I am right with you. We are with you in your feelings of balance and struggle to always be in control. Like Kathy says; Shit happens; deal with it an then move on. next month you will be telling one of us the samething As a matter of fact 2 weekends ago I was in the same boat. I ate like crap - way too much and bad choices, I had not exercised in about two weeks- I felt terrible.

Kathybad (who is really Kathy Good) motivated me to get off my butt and do something - anything. While you are at the game walk around a little, do some crunches or run up and down your basement steps. Then tomorrow post to us what you did. Guess what if you don't do anything- we will still luv ya!!

By the way - Kathy is that a picture of your daughter or is that a hotter version of yourself!! Nice picture girl.

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leslie, kathy gave almost the same advise i was going to but i'll take it a step further. be SELFISH, 30-40mins a day is not too much of your family to allow for yourself...for your better health - mentally & physically.

i'm just an overrall nicer person if i can "work out" my issues - clears my head.:embaressed_smile:

thanks renewed & georgia girl.....i did reward myself with a running outfit for my Oct 4th 5k. PINK - i'm so not a pink colored girl, but i bought a pink & black addidas shorts/tank/jacket. DH laughed that it was a sporting event not a fashion show, and i'm not that type either but i wanted something cute - period.

took it a bit easy today - ran 20min / walk 10min / elliptical 30min..shins hurt a tad from running outside yesterday...

hope everyone is having a good monday!!

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Guest Leslie2Lose

Thanks ya'll. Thanks for your support and understanding. I'm definately torn, but know I have to do this for me. I put everyone else ahead of me for years - and look where it got me - 275 pounds. Miserable.

I'm commited to refocus and get back on track. I love you guys! If it weren't for this board I'm sure I would have given up a long time ago. And Lynn you are right - Kathy needs to change her name to KathyGood :-)

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Leslie!!

I will be at the y bright and early in the morning. I slept in this morning too and then i have goofed off tonight and not made it there, so we can both get back at it in the morning. I need someone to hold me accountable and you do too so we have to do this together. We deserve it!!! Call me if you need to talk!

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HAHAHAHA.... Kathy Good sounds funny to me! I happy to provide any advice I can (don't always follow it myself!), I just say what I feel. As for the "Bad" name... here's a few reasons for it:

1. My favourite holiday is Halloween. I like the candy, but love the "darker persona" part of it!!!

2. My name "Kathlene" comes from "Pure One"... NOT!!!!!

3. I always was drawn to the "bad boys", couldn't find much interest in good guys.

4. Best of all.... I married a Bad Boy.... he's so bad, his name (which I took) is "Badeski" aka "BAD"

So there you have it... origin of my name "Kathybad"... oh but I do like to be bad!

Lynn... thanks for the comment on my new pic! Taken yesterday! What you didn't see in the picture is the nice big piece of cake I had too! We were celebrating our Daughter's 1st anniversary of her adoption!

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Leslie and Jeannie~ Ya'll can do it!!! We gotta get ready for that 5k in October!

Kathy~ I agree with everyone else....you are Kathygood, lol! Seriously, you've been very supportive and I'm glad to have you as a running buddy. BTW, I love your new avatar pic!!

Okay, Lyn and Kathy, I took your advice and did one run today. I went in there expecting to only be able to do 8 minutes, tops. I am on cloud nine right now because I ran for 12 minutes straight with a speed of 4.5 mph! I exceeded my expectations and I'm soooo excited now! I'll try to up the time each time I run, only if it's a few seconds until I work up to the 5k.

Oh, Leslie and Jeannie. If I'm not mistaken, ya'll were stuck on week 4 too, right? Week 4 was sooooo hard for me. I think I stayed on it for weeks and weeks. If you find you can't get past it (like me), I suggest trying the one run like I did today. I went as long as I could and I'll just up it each time. I'm sooooo glad Lyn and Kathy recommended that because I was getting really discouraged. Good luck with your runs tomorrow!!!

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Georgia... Yee Haw!!!! That's great news. I'm so happy for you! Congrats! And thanks, you're a great running buddy too!

Back in August I applied for a job at 3M that was pretty much the same as what I was doing before... Sr. Marketing Mgr. I found out this morning that I got an interview!!!!! It's not until Oct 8th, but at least I have my foot in the door. 3M is the only other big company in town that does consumer marketing. Their Canadian head office is here. So failing this position, I will either have to move or change careers. So please... everyone pray, cross your fingers, or send good karma my way on Oct. 8th. BTW... that's the day after I run my 5k!

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Congrats on the job interview, Kathy!! I will be praying for you.

Georgia, Way to go on the 12 minute run!!!! That is awesome!!

I am having the hardest time staying focused. I still struggle so much with this all or nothing mentality. I am either all in or all out! I so hate that about myself. Fortunately, since being banded, my all out periods are fewer and definately don't last as long, but I still struggle with it. If you went back and read my posts (don't) I almost sound bipolar. I can be so on one day and so off the next. This is especially frustrating right now. I went to the gyn yesterday and everything is set for my surgery on October 24th. I am having a mons lift, thigh lift, and Tummy Tuck. I am also having my tubes tied. Ok, I want to lose 18 pounds of fat between now and then. The surgery is AWESOME motivation, so why can't I seem to stay on track??? I ate poorly yesterday and didn't exercise. I have had more days like that than not the last week or so. What gives??? I have got to get my head screwed on straight and do this thing!!!

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Guest Leslie2Lose

Renewed - I'm going through the same thing myself. I'm an all or nothing too - which is why I think I quit running for a while. If I couldn't do it (week 4) then I wasn't running at all. Same with my eating - I go all out if I mess up. My whole day (which turned into a weekend) was ruined.

Get up and run! or do your Jillian DVD! I've already called Jeannie and we ARE going to the gym this afternoon. Jump back on. I know if I can do it then you can too! You've come so far girl! You are an inspiration. I know the end it gets much harder - just imagine that bikini you'll be wearing next summer - flatlands here you come.

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Guest Leslie2Lose

Kathy - it sounds like October 5th will prove to be a great day for you. Good luck with your interview!!!

Georgia - I think I'm going to do like you with my run. I'm going to borrow DD's MP3 Player or try to get mine working (maybe DH can fix it) and get my tunes back on. Time them and run and walk and work on building up from there.

J and I are doing an aerobics class tonight. I'm back tomorrow running! I'm going to take it outside I think too. That I think will make a huge difference. It's cooler now in the mornings and maybe I won't get bored.

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Thanks Leslie. I am going to run this evening when my parents get home from work. I can leave the boys at their house long enough to run. I am going to make good eating choices today and drink LOTS of water!!! I too, am using my own music now instead of podrunner.

I started a thread about my plastic surgery. Here is a link if anyone wants to keep up with that part of my journey. http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f12/renewedhope-headed-flatlands-76071/

You guys are truly the best. I love this thread. everyone is so real and so supportive!!

Planing for a better day!!

DH's favorite quote......"Hoping for a bright future without planning for today is like a farmer waiting for a crop having never planted any seed." I don't remember who said that, but it is a great quote. Today, I am going to plant seeds that will sprout tommorow!!!

Thanks ladies!! Make it a great day!!

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Renewed... start talking yourself back into your plan. That's what I tell my DH when he goes down his negative "all or nothing" path. He is so 100% all or nothing... drives me crazy! For him... its all or nothing worry. So when he worries about ridiculous stuff, I tell him to start talking about why he doesn't need to worry. That usually works. So start telling yourself about how running/exercise makes you feel, how it has changed your life, etc, etc... and if you need some reminding... and this is for all of us!

Go to Page 35, post #512 and Go to Page 34, post #500

This is a good reminder of what all this means!

Ok, I've mapped out 5k in the neighborhood... and I'm going to go the route and see how long it takes me. I don't expect to run it all... but want to run at least 30 min of it. My guess is it will take me about 50 min to run/walk the route. I'll report back later!

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