I'm here to help...

[boos02 0]

Ellen - I'm sending a cyber hug to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Kathy

[Great2BThin 5]

I just read the posts I was behind on and can't remember a thing I read. Blame it on the drugs. I do know I read about Ellen's friend, and Ellen I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Forgvie me for reposting what I posted at the 50's but am really groggy still:

I am home and less one gall bladder! Surgery went well, forgot to ask the dr. why I ended up with 4 incisions instead of 3 but 3 of the 4 he used my band ones so no biggie. He also said my band and port looked great and were in good position. When he went to talk to my husband and in laws after surgery he told DH that I couldn't do housework for 1 yr!! Love it! My MIL got a kick out of and and asked him what procedure he could do on her.

I'm in quite a big of pain at where I presume my gall bladder was, it is like the dull ache I had before surgery but much much more intesified. No gas pains again! Love that! he's good at sucking taht all back out. I'm so tired and groggy but I go to bed for hours and lie there and can't sleep. Just had some Soup and that tasted good.

Thanks again for all the prayers and good wishes!

I'm on the road again.......

[IndioGirl55 32]

Ellen, so sorry about your bf. I know how painful it is to loose someone that you are close to. Time will heal your pain and its okay to grieve. This is a good place to come and talk.

Long, I hope your surgery went well. I was saying a prayer for you to be okay and we will hear from you soon.

Indio, CONGRATULATIONS :tt2: on your normal BMI. I can't imagine what this is like. You have worked very hard and you deserved everything coming your way. Plus, you are a very good mentor to all of us. I hope to be in your shoes some day and be a good mentor. The last few days for me have been kind of off. Last night I had 4 two inch square of pizza. I am hungry and I can't help myself. Next Tuesday, I go to Dr. so I hope he gives me fill this time because I am truly hungry now. Its like the band isn't there. I am trying really hard to be careful on food. On Wednesday I weighed and I stayed the same as last week:confused2:. Thats the first time I did not loose since surgery. I have upped my walking to two times around the park now every other day so am getting in extra miles now. thats hard for me, especially because its so hot. I am sitting here hungry right now and for lunch I had cheese sticks and a medium salad. I am afraid I am going to have trouble when I get filled because I can not quit taking big bites of food and I cant quit guzzling or eating fast. That is the hardest part for me I think that is harder that exercise:cursing: See ya later, Beckyo

Becky - Remember - take the word hope out of your vocabulary and replace it with WILL :w00t: That's the #1 rule on this thread - we will no longer hope or wish or try - we will do !!!

If you think you can't you won't :thumbdown:if you think you can you will...:thumbup:

Ok on the food issue you are in bandster hell - you just gotta eat healthy even though you don't have restriction... Cuz once you do have it - the band isn't going to make your food choices for you - and once you have retriction you can tend to lean towards eating slider foods cuz they are easiter to eat (they don't require the chewing and they slide right thru)

Last nite I had lamb shank and roasted carrots and potatos - I ate Protein first and barely had room for the veggies (I LOVE ROASTED CARROTS) or the tatoes and I find this very frustrating cuz i stil want to taste the food even when I am full.

When you are still hungry after dinner or lunch eat extra veggies - that's what I did - I would eat my dinner and still be hungry - I would have an extra cup of squash (I was eating 2 to 2 1/2 cups of food prior to my 1st fill - they were soft foods) then I would have my sf fudge cicle and sf puddings.. I ate but it wasn't cake cookes bread mash potatoes rice Pasta all smothered in butter... I ate veggies - and sf sweets... You can do this :cool2:

Are you eating with children utensils??? and off a desert/sandwich plate - if you aren't I suggest you get some (kid's sliver). It helps with the bites.

When you forget your band will remind you once you have restriction.. The bite issue isn't that big for me - its' the chewing the meat forever and no gulping Water - I miss that the most - but when I forget and I do - my band reminds me..

You are going to forget about your band at times - but it will give you a little smack and remind you it's there when you don't follow the rules and after a while - tiny bites - sips - chewing become habit - oh ya eating slowly too..

Keep up the walking - it's benefical - it helps with the weigth lost and it helps with the endorphines too.. Stay well hydrated as little sweat aint going to kill you - it's good for you.. :thumbup:

I just read the posts I was behind on and can't remember a thing I read. Blame it on the drugs. I do know I read about Ellen's friend, and Ellen I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Forgvie me for reposting what I posted at the 50's but am really groggy still:

I am home and less one gall bladder! Surgery went well, forgot to ask the dr. why I ended up with 4 incisions instead of 3 but 3 of the 4 he used my band ones so no biggie. He also said my band and port looked great and were in good position. When he went to talk to my husband and in laws after surgery he told DH that I couldn't do housework for 1 yr!! Love it! My MIL got a kick out of and and asked him what procedure he could do on her.

I'm in quite a big of pain at where I presume my gall bladder was, it is like the dull ache I had before surgery but much much more intesified. No gas pains again! Love that! he's good at sucking taht all back out. I'm so tired and groggy but I go to bed for hours and lie there and can't sleep. Just had some Soup and that tasted good.

Thanks again for all the prayers and good wishes!

I'm on the road again.......

Lori - I have been thinking about you all day - Glad you are home and everything is good... Just be glad that they can do it lapthoscopcially now a days - I have a big long scar from when mine was taken 23 yrs ago..

Love the now house work - what a great doc

Rest take your med and we will talk to you tomorrow ..

Ok gang - I will ck back later (CBL) I gotta go watch my Olympic's !!!

Dinner to nite will be the left overs or 4 oz hamburger patty on the grill and some veggies and 1/2 c pasta...

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Ladies....

Happy Saturday...

Lori how are you feeling today??

Well been up since 5 - got the bed made - clothes in the wash and will be off to the gym at 7 when it opens.. Yesterday since I was off - I went and did the stairmaster - thought I would try something new (it's usually the treadmill) omw -i only did level 4 for 30 minutes (something like 46 steps a minute -didn't have my reading glasses on ) it was a work out.

My left leg is weaker than my right and I have some balance issues which have gotten better since working out with the trainer it's getting better and I want to get my muscles in shape so that when I do get older I won't be falling ...

Just cking in - Good food choices - stay hydrated - move... and enjoy your Saturday....

I will CBL:tongue:

[Charlene K 1]

I just read the posts I was behind on and can't remember a thing I read. Blame it on the drugs. I do know I read about Ellen's friend, and Ellen I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Forgvie me for reposting what I posted at the 50's but am really groggy still:

I am home and less one gall bladder! Surgery went well, forgot to ask the dr. why I ended up with 4 incisions instead of 3 but 3 of the 4 he used my band ones so no biggie. He also said my band and port looked great and were in good position. When he went to talk to my husband and in laws after surgery he told DH that I couldn't do housework for 1 yr!! Love it! My MIL got a kick out of and and asked him what procedure he could do on her.

I'm in quite a big of pain at where I presume my gall bladder was, it is like the dull ache I had before surgery but much much more intesified. No gas pains again! Love that! he's good at sucking taht all back out. I'm so tired and groggy but I go to bed for hours and lie there and can't sleep. Just had some Soup and that tasted good.

Thanks again for all the prayers and good wishes!

I'm on the road again.......

So glad you are home . Your were in my prayers. Take it easy. I here housework is really bad after gall bladder surgery. All doctors need to tell husbands that one.....oh , and cooking too!

[Great2BThin 5]

Good morning. Pain is a tad better today. OMG did it hurt last night. So I took 2 pain pills (dosage was one or two every 4 to 6 hours) they helped a little but I couldn't sleep at all. Read the label this morning, sleeplessness is a side effect. So I'm trying to go with just liquid tylenol so I can get some rest in today. Of course I didn't sleep well night before surgery, had to get up at 4am to get to the hospital by 530 and then about an hour or two last night is it. DH says I am getting around and looking so much better than I did after banding but I feel much worse, interesting. he's being great though. He's cooking a turkey today to get it out of the freezer and he loves turkey left overs. he better, it's 20+ pounds nd just the 2 of us and I'm hardly eating anything. 3 of teh 8 lbs I gained yesterday and gone, 5 to go!!

[wiredshut 0]

Thank you all for your good thoughts on the loss of my friend. Today is her memorial service and I am supposed to speak. I've been sitting at the computer for days, trying to put down the right words and they just aren't coming. How do you say good-bye to a best friend? I know when the time comes, the words will, but it's been so hard. I thank you all for your love and support.

Janet, I have a question for you. Your BMI is normal, your size is great, your weight loss is amazing, but most of all your attitude is phenomenal. It's like you're "normal" or even better than that! How did you go from an "eating mindset" to a "living mindset?"

It's 3 weeks out for me, tomorrow and I'm going through an angry stage. Part of this is probably due to Judy's death, but I know that part of it is from the change in being able to eat my feelings away. How do I change my head?

Thank you all again.

Hope today is a better day, Lori.

Love,

Ellen

[IndioGirl55 32]

Thank you all for your good thoughts on the loss of my friend. Today is her memorial service and I am supposed to speak. I've been sitting at the computer for days, trying to put down the right words and they just aren't coming. How do you say good-bye to a best friend? I know when the time comes, the words will, but it's been so hard. I thank you all for your love and support.

Janet, I have a question for you. Your BMI is normal, your size is great, your weight loss is amazing, but most of all your attitude is phenomenal. It's like you're "normal" or even better than that! How did you go from an "eating mindset" to a "living mindset?"

It's 3 weeks out for me, tomorrow and I'm going through an angry stage. Part of this is probably due to Judy's death, but I know that part of it is from the change in being able to eat my feelings away. How do I change my head?

Thank you all again.

Hope today is a better day, Lori.

Love,

Ellen

Ellen

The word will come, I know when my bro died I just got up there and spoke.. Don't ask me what I said - but I did it.

Eating mindset vs Living mindset... I don't know.. Having major surgery.

I was on mushies came home tired from work (food trigger for me) I remember someone telling me in the 50 + thread when I was having my last meal syndrome that I could have white gravy again - Well I put some bacon in the frying pan and watched is cook - I looked at it and said to myself - "Ya Janet that's a mushie (gravy over mashed potatoes) it's ok to eat it - but did you have major surgery (@ 52 this was my 2nd surgery my 1st was gallbladder when I was 30) to continue to eat this way"... I told myself no and threw it out - I don't remember what I ate instead - but something that wasn't loaded with fat.

I think having major surgery was my "ah ha moment" I totally got it that this has to be a lifetime lifestyle change.. It took about 30 yrs for that to finally sink in but I think it has (but just like an addict I have to be very careful and mindful not to let old habits reappear). I had learned to eat healthy in my years of Weight Watcher but I never really got the whole lifetime lifestyle change - I used it as a diet then slowly when back to eating normal - and guess what happened.. I got fat again - cuz normal for me is high fat high sugar and no exercise..

The real test for me will be 2 yrs from now - will I be able to keep up with this change - is this truly a lifetime change for me.. But just like a drug addict - I can't worry if I will be sober tomorrow - I have to concentrate on today - I will worry about tomorrow - tomorrow - I just concentrate on today - one day at a time..

Right now I am on a maintenance which means that I have to add more calories in so that I don't continue to lose weight - This is hard as it is giving myself permission to eat more or higher calorie foods. The diff between us and drug addicts is that they don't have to have a little of their drug to survive - the leave it alone completely - we don't have that opinion we have to eat and food is our drug of choice. So how do I do this... I don't know this is a learning curve for me - I want to go to the gym more so that I make sure that I am burning up those extra calories or I could go to the gym less and then eat less... Well either of those options can cause me to fall off the wagon - I am a tad afraid right now.

Yesterday had a small light mocha frappicino (90 c) 1 cup Beans w/ff cheese (300 c) 24 tortilla chips (130 c) 1 ice cream cone (200) 1/4 c Pasta (100c) butternut squash (50 c) 4 oz hamburger patty (300) 1 pudding (60) popcorn (200) 30 cherries (145) = 1575 calories for the day (approximately since I am no longer keeping a food diary on paper but in my head I still do) plus I went to the gym and walked 3 miles (burned 350 calories) I should be ok but felt like i ate like a pig..

I went to one of those calculator places it say for moderate exercise I should have 1972.5 calories a day to maintain my current weight.. That's alot of calories when you really think about it..

Today I have had an omeltte 2 eggs (out of eggbeaters) 1/2 oz hamburger and 1 oz feta cheese (320 c) so that leaves me about 1600 for the day

All I can say - is that I love the way I feel - I love the way I look (saggy skin and all) and I know if I go back to eating high fat/sugar and quit exercising - I will gain it back and I don't want to do that... I want to enjoy the rest of my life and being fat was too limiting.. I love the energy that I have now..

Yes your anger is due to your friend Judy's death.. Plus we moarn the loss of food too it was comforting... We have to learn a different way to soothe ourselves - it's a very individual thing, but you just gotta find what works for you..

Hugs - time does help the pain - good memories will bring a smile - remember it's not the years in your life but the life in those years

[IndioGirl55 32]

Here is something I read in Ladies Home Journel right now as I wait for pages to load

Artical by Dr Phil - Free yourself from Fear..

We aren't talking about fear of spiders etc but about the stonach turning realization that just about every major decision you've ever made has been to please, appease or somehow meet the needs of everyone - except yourself.

You must decide that it is your turn and that you fear continuing on the same path you have been on more than you fear changing.

This just encapsulated what I was trying to convey in some of my little (well ya long post).. For me this is my time - all my life has been about someone else - for me my 50's are about me and getting this tool has helped me with the changes that need to be made in order to fully live the life that I deserve for however long I have left..

7 Steps to a fearless life

Decice what you really care about

Examine where your are now

Make a life decision

Acknowledge your fears

Challenge irrational fears

Make it happen

Get help

This is the Sept issue of LHJ - Articel good reading - suggest you get the magazine and read it...

Edited August 10, 2008 by IndioGirl55

[wiredshut 0]

Dear Janet,

You are heaven sent; you've given me so much to think about and each statement was more important than the next. I am getting dressed to go to the memorial service and I know that everything will fall into place. So much to think about. I guess I can "grow up," or just "grow," even at my age.

Love,

Ellen

[boos02 0]

Ellen - my thoughts are with you today.

Janet - thanks again for those words of wisdom. Like Ellen, I wonder when the switch will change for me too. I saw surgery as the last attempt for me to make the changes I've wanted to make for 20 years. THANK YOU for being here for us.

Kathy

[IndioGirl55 32]

You guys are making me cry - I am not band godess - I am just a 53 yrs chick who has been overweight since childhood (was thin for about a second 16 to 23) but I am no diff than any of you. I just read alot of self help stuff (not that I have always used it but it has made me very aware of things in my live) I am just a little insightful and have a pretty good understanding of my feelings and am not afarid to share them...

I'm just not arfaird to speak my mind - cuz throughout the years I have found that we really all think the same thoughts - I don't care of you never graduated HS or have a Harvard education - we are all the same basically..

I have suffered being from being fat - I have put others needs before mine, I have suffered abuse at the hands of a man - I have experienced the loss of loved ones in my life (15 when my Mom died). I have been on my own since I was 16 and had my son.. I have worked since I was 19

Life happens we all have crap happend to us - but I am just not one of those pple who play the victim part - I am not oh woe is me - but I was being a victim - I was woe is me when it came to being fat - It's to hard to lose weight - I can't do it alone - who cares you have to love me the person..

Well you know what most of that is crap - except for the part about needed help - I did need help the band was the help I needed - so now it's up to me to do the rest - I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM OF MY FATNESS ANY LONGER...

But thanks ladies for your kind words - and yes even at our age we can continue to grow.. Heck in my brain I still think I am 16 and all that and a bag of chips - it just my body that has betraded me - as they say youth is wasted on the young

[Great2BThin 5]

Janet, you are on a roll today in your inspiring thoughts. Though they were meant for someone else, they spoke volumes to me.

Ellen, thinking of you today.

Well I am 2 days out from surgery. The pain is subsiding some. Still much more pain than I ever had with the band, but then considering I hardly had no pain with the band any pain would be more. I'm only taking liquid Tylenol now though as those darn pain pills kept me awake, fuzzy in the head, and didn't do much anyway. And I've now been sleeping the days away a 3 or 4 hour nap each day after about 11 hours of sleep at night. This too shall pass I am sure. I can hardly eat much. But I have been able to eat some Sonic M & M Blast. that felt so good on my throat, which is sore I take it from the tube. Now with the small amount I'm eating I'm hoping those 8 lbs the hospital gave me disappear!! LOL I got up this morning intending to go to church, I got dressed in a 2X outfit I just bought at the beginning of summer, I can hardly keep the pants on!!! YAHOO!! Never made it to church, just getting ready wore me out.

[IndioGirl55 32]

ok here are some more stuff I was just thinking about as I was cooking - to give you a little more insight on how I am wired or just how to think about things.

I took care of my parents (step-mom & my Dad) for the last 6 months of their lives. My step mom her funeral was 5/15/92 my Dad never got out of the limo at her services he couldn't breath - he ended up in the hospital and stayed there for the last month of his life in ICU (he died 6/15) My Aunt who is a very good Catholic said "why did God make my Dad go through all that pain and surgery and he still let him die" Ya I thought that too but in the next second I thought to myself - God has given me this life challenge to learn from not to pity myself or my loss - this was a learning experience (you gotta understand this being said I was/am a daddy's girl) but I found out that by me taking care of my parents and giving back to them for all that they gave me helped me in my grief at the lost of them.

My Dad taught me that you can't let stuff that happens hold you back from becoming a good person - Ya we all don't have perfect childhoods - but are we going to blame the rest of our lives on one bad experience - not - pull up those bootstraps and move forward.

I use to be a big Oprah fan cuz she is all about the pull up the bootstraps and self help issues (well I was till she spoke out against WLS and saying it's the easy way out - Heck she would be a great canidiate for the lapband) ok back to what I was going to say - you remember all the hoopla about "The Secret" When I watched that show - I said ' that's no secert that's how I already think.. I guess I had missed my chance at makeing a million dollars.. Maybe I should write a book

I say i am not a victim or hate being one - the whole woe is me thing - I got out of a bad relationship where I was abused and I knew that I was better than than - I excelled at my job (I am only a high school grad but took baccalaureate classes for initials behind my named for my job) I bought a house - I may have had a kid at 16 but even at that age I was - I am going to show you kind of person - this isn't going to ruin my life..

I have done well at all those things - but I used food as my comfort reward all those year - I have a lot of addiction issue in my family and have had alot of pple I know be alcoholics or drug addict - Well, I never became one of those - I refused to .. But I was a person with addiction - it was food.. Just like the alcoholics thinks they are better than a druggie a foodie thinks they don't have a problem at all... DENIAL !!!!!

For any of you have dealt with a drug addict or alcoholic - take what you know about those dieasesan apply it to your disease of obesity - Yes obesity is a disease it's just that society doesn't look at it that way..

The band in my methadone - my antibuse - it's my helper..

I have my helper (my band and no I haven't named it) but the rest is up to me - I have to take responsiblity for my actions (eating & exercise) be it doing it properly or not at all...

I have no excuses anymore - I have gotten the help and now its up to me to do the work.. The work involved is mostly mental but we mistake (and I still do today) those head hunger issues as real physical hunger issue - it is something I struggle with right this very second - but I don't give in and if I just can't hold out anylonger - it's something like a sf fudgecicle - popcorn or sf pudding ...

Now when I want to eat - I get on the computer - I play with my dogs - I go in the bathroom and give myself a facial, I will call a friend.. I find something to distract myself...

Ok timer going off - my dinner is going to burn - but just wanted to share some of my random thoughts......

Off the soap box for now :youcandothis: oh ya don't have time to proof - so I hope it makes sense

[IndioGirl55 32]

Janet, you are on a roll today in your inspiring thoughts. Though they were meant for someone else, they spoke volumes to me.

Ellen, thinking of you today.

Well I am 2 days out from surgery. The pain is subsiding some. Still much more pain than I ever had with the band, but then considering I hardly had no pain with the band any pain would be more. I'm only taking liquid Tylenol now though as those darn pain pills kept me awake, fuzzy in the head, and didn't do much anyway. And I've now been sleeping the days away a 3 or 4 hour nap each day after about 11 hours of sleep at night. This too shall pass I am sure. I can hardly eat much. But I have been able to eat some Sonic M & M Blast. that felt so good on my throat, which is sore I take it from the tube. Now with the small amount I'm eating I'm hoping those 8 lbs the hospital gave me disappear!! LOL I got up this morning intending to go to church, I got dressed in a 2X outfit I just bought at the beginning of summer, I can hardly keep the pants on!!! YAHOO!! Never made it to church, just getting ready wore me out.

Lori

The words and thought are for everyone really - as I said in a post I was typing as you were posting this one - we are all the same.

I am glad you are better - ya I hate pain meds too - they make you feel out of sorts and they don't let you sleep well.

Congrats on the 2x falling off that's a great NSV -

and get the tired by the time you got dresses.

Heck I don't have the excuse of surgeyr - I did change out of jammies to house dress and brushed my teeth - but that's all I have done today...