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Life is difficult. When you accept that, you're on your way to growing up. But it still sucks while you're going thru it. I'm glad everyone's posting about their difficulties. Writing is one of the best ways to get what's stuffed inside you out rather than stuffing the pain down harder with food. Relying on your higher power is also very helpful. I find that keeping myself on a fairly high dose of Vitamin D is also helpful.

I've been writing a lot in my blog lately about the relationship between compulsive overeating and ADHD. I'd be really interested in seeing if anyone else has made that connection. Check out my blog at:

IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

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Janet~

You are so right about others and their eating habits around you. I guess I have not been around that many people who are not eating healthy since my surgery. My whole family, parents and husband, have adopted the new lifestyle. My Nelson could care less if he ate. Day of his dentist, I said only some apple juice this morning, no eating and he said "yippeee". LOL. But I too find I have an intolerance to seeing people gorge around me. At restaurants it almost makes me sick. Perhaps it is because I know I was on that side of the fence before.

Yeah, we have no dental insurance! it sux. It just appalls me that a group of physicians have such shitty insurance! They had an exclusion for my band surgery and no dental. Get this... we have a $6000 family deductible! It's ridiculous.

Where are you going in Canada? We are leaving for Quebec on the 20th!!! My DH, DS and I are going for a week. It's our 8th wedding anniv. on the 21st and we just wanted to do something different. I have never been to Canada and am looking forward to it. We are staying at a place that has lofts with full kitchens. I really don't want to rely on restaurants like I did in Charleston. It made me feel horrible.. emotionally and physically. I just cannot handle the way they cook things, even nice restaurants the veggies are covered with oil. So we will eat out once a day and then have something in the apt the others. Eating out used to be such an enjoyment before the band. Now I find ways to NOT eat out..LOL.

Meredith~

Hope you are feeling better today. Like Janet said, we do all have fat days. One thing I did that REALLY REALLY helped me... is I took a photo before surgery, one 45 days later and then one 3 months later. Whenever I feel like I don't look like I have lost any... i pull them out. It really helps straighten out the mind FU@&. I have no shame nor modesty. I will attach them to this posting. Lord have mercy if they ever make it to the paparazzi..LOL... i will never have a political career! HAH. Seriously though, let us know what the doctor says tomorrow. It may be a seroma. I know mine was larger on one side and harder... felt like a baby's head! When I looked down I looked pregnant! It WILL get better, I promise!

ok guys, rents left this morning. Short but sweet trip. So much cleaning to do. We walked this morning ~ 2 miles, DS, DH and me. And then I wanted to ride my bike. Accidentally ripped out the part of the tire where you put air in! New tire purchase tomorrow!:)

BTW, down one more pound today!!! hip hip.... horayyyyy

I wish I had taken a photo at 312#. Unfortunately i only have one at 304.

First pic, 2-20-09 pre-op, 304 lbs

2nd, 4-17-09, 45 days post op, 272 lbs (- 30 lbs)

3rd, 6-30-09, 4 mo. post op, 250 lbs (-62)

4th 2-20-09

rth 6-30-09

Laura~ THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!! I'm going to take pics of me as soon as the BF gets home!!!! What a great way to do this. Might I add, you are the incredible shrinking woman! Hell, I might even put them on my refridgerator door if I ever am feeling out of control. Like you, no shame, no modesty! Especially after all of those people have seen me on the operating table totally naked and unconcious! I really cannot thank you enough. Also, I am about the same age as your niece, I really understand what she is going through and I think that everyone has their limit of just how fat they will get until it's almost too late. (IDK if I worded that well, but hopefully you get my drift).

Janet~ Only until Friday do I have to be on liquids, then mushies for 2 weeks while continuing to have 2 of my Boosts per day.

Did anyone else feel scared about food? I kind of am. Also, it already repulses me to see the amount of food that people eat and knowing that that was once me. SICK. I think that I am going to see a therapist about food addiction. Yesterday when I was feeling upset, I really wanted to cheat and EAT. I did not, but I can see how one day I could break.

Have a beautiful Sunday!

~Meredith

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Laura~ THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!! I'm going to take pics of me as soon as the BF gets home!!!! What a great way to do this. Might I add, you are the incredible shrinking woman! Hell, I might even put them on my refridgerator door if I ever am feeling out of control. Like you, no shame, no modesty! Especially after all of those people have seen me on the operating table totally naked and unconcious! I really cannot thank you enough. Also, I am about the same age as your niece, I really understand what she is going through and I think that everyone has their limit of just how fat they will get until it's almost too late. (IDK if I worded that well, but hopefully you get my drift).

Did anyone else feel scared about food? ~Meredith

"Hell, I might even put them on my refridgerator door if I ever am feeling out of control." I had to laugh... when I first read it, I thought you were going to put MY pics on YOUR fridge! LOL. I am glad they/it helped. I recommend it to anyone losing weight. Also do measurements. Not sure if your dr. did them initially? But do your neck, arms, chest, abdomen, hips, thigh. It really is cool to see the inches come off even when the lbs slow down.

And your wording is so true regarding my niece. It's so tough to see her and know that, other than being here for her, there is nothing I can do really. That is one of the things that always frustrated ME the most about myself. I had a health related degree, had enough time to exercise and eat healthy, and could afford a gym membership... so what kept me from taking the reins of my health?! I KNEW what to do.. just couldn't DO IT. And now as I get deeper in this band journey, I realize that so much (most) of the problem is in my head! As Janet once said... if they could band our heads we'd be set!

Scared about food? hmmmm.. Not so much scared about food per se, but scared that eating regular food would cause me to stop losing or gain weight. In the beginning I had very little restriction and once the swelling wore off it was will power until about fill #2. Did they prefill your band at all? It wasn't until hard solid Protein and several fills before I had my first stuck. One thing you should do Meredith, (if you aren't already) is keep track of everything you eat/drink. Either on paper or online. Which band did you get? Realize comes with a code to use their website which I love.

You are doing great! Keep it up! WTG!!!

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Well, my son did not get called back for Biggest Loser. I think he was relieved because it is for 14 weeks and workouts are 6-10hrs a day. I know he will get back on a plan. You have to have been inspired after watching all the super morbid obese stand in line for Biggest Loser.

Okay, peeps, I will be busy this week. I will check back in after my DH gets home from having gastric bypass. Keep him in your prayers!

HUGS and LOVE to all!

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Well, my son did not get called back for Biggest Loser. I think he was relieved because it is for 14 weeks and workouts are 6-10hrs a day. I know he will get back on a plan. You have to have been inspired after watching all the super morbid obese stand in line for Biggest Loser.

Okay, peeps, I will be busy this week. I will check back in after my DH gets home from having gastric bypass. Keep him in your prayers!

HUGS and LOVE to all!

Charlene~ Sorry your son did not make it for BL. Perhaps this will be the time for him to see his dr and get some fills. Kinda like a new start, especially with your DH having surgery and starting fresh!

I will certainly keep your DH in my prayers. We will anxiously await your news.

Laura

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Laura~ You are funny! If you would like, I could put your pictures on the fridge too!!! LOL In regards to food, my band is not prefilled at all, and I have the standard 10cc lapband. All of my liquid is just going right through! I get the will power thing already. Yes, they did measure me and when my best friend got married last september and boy oh boy! Good thing we ordered them online so no one else had to see my size or measurements! And, like you, I also knew exactly what to do but couldn't DO IT.

Charlene~ I tried out for BL last season. I really don't understand how they can select just a few people from the HUGE groups that go. Hopefully your son can get back to the dr and has become more motivated. I will be praying for your husband. Please let us know how everything goes!

~Meredith

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Good morning! I survived a camping weekend with no bear stories! I was pretty nervous the first night and a little less so the 2nd. We had an awesome time, it was wonderful getting away just DH & I and get to recharge our batteries. Though I think I came back more tired than when I left.

Laura, awesome pics! You can really see the difference.

Arlene, best wishes to DH for his surgery this week. Also, sorry your son didn't make Biggest Loser, I used to dream of making that show. Then when I watched it woudl get so mad at the few contestants that didn't take it serious. I think it was Janelle or something like that this year, here thousands try out and then to have one make it that didn't take it serious made me mad. LOL I'd always pick a contestant at the beginning of the show that was closest to either my weight or age and then root for them all season. I got way into that show.

Janet, bummer about the boss and the anniversary thing. DH's 32nd anniversary went unnoticed too. I think companies anymore just aren't used to having long term employees anymore, so sad.

Meredith, hope your drainage is getting better. Soon you get mushies! YIPEE!! Scrambled eggs and refried Beans never tasted so good when I got them.

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Hi All~ Just got back from the Surgeon. He said that I am still very swollen and still have a lot of Fluid in there. He took the scab off and pushed on either side of the incision HARD! A lot of Fluid came out. He said that there is zero sign of infection and that it looks really really good. He was surprised about how well it looked actually! I told him good thing I have OCD! It now is open and kinda deep. I have to take a cotton swab soaked in 1/2 Water and 1/2 peroxide and rub it inside, then neosporin, then gauze. Geez Lousise! I asked him when he thought it would heal, apparently this is going to take 2-3 more weeks. Sorry, kinda gross, I know. Still paranoid and will be until this is closed up. 3 pounds down this week though, so thats good.

Also, I had no idea where my port was! What I thought was my port, was not! Its below the incision further down on my tummy than I thought. Interesting.

Charlene~ Thinking about your husband, hope everything is going well!

Long~ Glad you're back girlfriend! And really happy that there were no bear incidences!

Off to class! I despise summer classes!

~Meredith

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Hi All~ Just got back from the Surgeon. He said that I am still very swollen and still have a lot of Fluid in there. He took the scab off and pushed on either side of the incision HARD! A lot of Fluid came out. He said that there is zero sign of infection and that it looks really really good. He was surprised about how well it looked actually! I told him good thing I have OCD! It now is open and kinda deep. I have to take a cotton swab soaked in 1/2 Water and 1/2 peroxide and rub it inside, then neosporin, then gauze. Geez Lousise! I asked him when he thought it would heal, apparently this is going to take 2-3 more weeks. Sorry, kinda gross, I know. Still paranoid and will be until this is closed up. 3 pounds down this week though, so thats good.

Also, I had no idea where my port was! What I thought was my port, was not! Its below the incision further down on my tummy than I thought. Interesting.

Charlene~ Thinking about your husband, hope everything is going well!

Long~ Glad you're back girlfriend! And really happy that there were no bear incidences!

Off to class! I despise summer classes!

~Meredith

I called my Dr office today and spoke to the nurse I saw Fri. she claimed she answered all my questions on Fri. she was mean and judgmental . She told me maybe I should reconsider surgery , What nerve! Anyways I got my official approval letter from my insurance and I got my med clearance . :thumbdown::thumbup:Thanks to everyone who responded to my questions.

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Janet~

You are so right about others and their eating habits around you. I guess I have not been around that many people who are not eating healthy since my surgery. My whole family, parents and husband, have adopted the new lifestyle. My Nelson could care less if he ate. Day of his dentist, I said only some apple juice this morning, no eating and he said "yippeee". LOL. But I too find I have an intolerance to seeing people gorge around me. At restaurants it almost makes me sick. Perhaps it is because I know I was on that side of the fence before.

Yeah, we have no dental insurance! it sux. It just appalls me that a group of physicians have such shitty insurance! They had an exclusion for my band surgery and no dental. Get this... we have a $6000 family deductible! It's ridiculous.

Where are you going in Canada? We are leaving for Quebec on the 20th!!! My DH, DS and I are going for a week. It's our 8th wedding anniv. on the 21st and we just wanted to do something different. I have never been to Canada and am looking forward to it. We are staying at a place that has lofts with full kitchens. I really don't want to rely on restaurants like I did in Charleston. It made me feel horrible.. emotionally and physically. I just cannot handle the way they cook things, even nice restaurants the veggies are covered with oil. So we will eat out once a day and then have something in the apt the others. Eating out used to be such an enjoyment before the band. Now I find ways to NOT eat out..LOL.

Meredith~

Hope you are feeling better today. Like Janet said, we do all have fat days. One thing I did that REALLY REALLY helped me... is I took a photo before surgery, one 45 days later and then one 3 months later. Whenever I feel like I don't look like I have lost any... i pull them out. It really helps straighten out the mind FU@&. I have no shame nor modesty. I will attach them to this posting. Lord have mercy if they ever make it to the paparazzi..LOL... i will never have a political career! HAH. Seriously though, let us know what the doctor says tomorrow. It may be a seroma. I know mine was larger on one side and harder... felt like a baby's head! When I looked down I looked pregnant! It WILL get better, I promise!

ok guys, rents left this morning. Short but sweet trip. So much cleaning to do. We walked this morning ~ 2 miles, DS, DH and me. And then I wanted to ride my bike. Accidentally ripped out the part of the tire where you put air in! New tire purchase tomorrow!:biggrin:

BTW, down one more pound today!!! hip hip.... horayyyyy

I wish I had taken a photo at 312#. Unfortunately i only have one at 304.

First pic, 2-20-09 pre-op, 304 lbs

2nd, 4-17-09, 45 days post op, 272 lbs (- 30 lbs)

3rd, 6-30-09, 4 mo. post op, 250 lbs (-62)

4th 2-20-09

rth 6-30-09

DOING GREAT LAURA !!!! Love the pic's

Ya I can't beleive you have such crappy insurance - I get 500 for healthy $1000 ded & Dental 1500 of coverage...

But each yr we keep losing something..

Laura~ THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!! I'm going to take pics of me as soon as the BF gets home!!!! What a great way to do this. Might I add, you are the incredible shrinking woman! Hell, I might even put them on my refridgerator door if I ever am feeling out of control. Like you, no shame, no modesty! Especially after all of those people have seen me on the operating table totally naked and unconcious! I really cannot thank you enough. Also, I am about the same age as your niece, I really understand what she is going through and I think that everyone has their limit of just how fat they will get until it's almost too late. (IDK if I worded that well, but hopefully you get my drift).

Janet~ Only until Friday do I have to be on liquids, then mushies for 2 weeks while continuing to have 2 of my Boosts per day.

Did anyone else feel scared about food? I kind of am. Also, it already repulses me to see the amount of food that people eat and knowing that that was once me. SICK. I think that I am going to see a therapist about food addiction. Yesterday when I was feeling upset, I really wanted to cheat and EAT. I did not, but I can see how one day I could break.

Have a beautiful Sunday!

~Meredith

Yep food still scares me..... I will be 2 yrs out on Friday the 17ths and I am still scared that I will go back to my old eating ways.

Yesterday GS had made a mirco wave burritto - they are that crappy good kind of food - I had a bite then another one - then threw the damn thing away - I wanted to eat it - but it's like 350 cal for a tiny burritto.

So yes I haven't lost my taste for unhealthy food - I miss it at time especially when I am down or tired..

IMHO I think to a degree this is going to be a life long battle- but Meredith you have age on your side - the way I look at it I wasted alot of years telling myself I was ok being fat..

I feel too good to go back and that's what stops me 98% of the time

Well, my son did not get called back for Biggest Loser. I think he was relieved because it is for 14 weeks and workouts are 6-10hrs a day. I know he will get back on a plan. You have to have been inspired after watching all the super morbid obese stand in line for Biggest Loser.

Okay, peeps, I will be busy this week. I will check back in after my DH gets home from having gastric bypass. Keep him in your prayers!

HUGS and LOVE to all!

Hugs & prayers for a safe surgery and speedy recovery - are you going to WW ??

Good morning! I survived a camping weekend with no bear stories! I was pretty nervous the first night and a little less so the 2nd. We had an awesome time, it was wonderful getting away just DH & I and get to recharge our batteries. Though I think I came back more tired than when I left.

Laura, awesome pics! You can really see the difference.

Arlene, best wishes to DH for his surgery this week. Also, sorry your son didn't make Biggest Loser, I used to dream of making that show. Then when I watched it woudl get so mad at the few contestants that didn't take it serious. I think it was Janelle or something like that this year, here thousands try out and then to have one make it that didn't take it serious made me mad. LOL I'd always pick a contestant at the beginning of the show that was closest to either my weight or age and then root for them all season. I got way into that show.

Janet, bummer about the boss and the anniversary thing. DH's 32nd anniversary went unnoticed too. I think companies anymore just aren't used to having long term employees anymore, so sad.

Meredith, hope your drainage is getting better. Soon you get mushies! YIPEE!! Scrambled eggs and refried Beans never tasted so good when I got them.

Glad the bears didn't get you :0)

Hi All~ Just got back from the Surgeon. He said that I am still very swollen and still have a lot of Fluid in there. He took the scab off and pushed on either side of the incision HARD! A lot of Fluid came out. He said that there is zero sign of infection and that it looks really really good. He was surprised about how well it looked actually! I told him good thing I have OCD! It now is open and kinda deep. I have to take a cotton swab soaked in 1/2 Water and 1/2 peroxide and rub it inside, then neosporin, then gauze. Geez Lousise! I asked him when he thought it would heal, apparently this is going to take 2-3 more weeks. Sorry, kinda gross, I know. Still paranoid and will be until this is closed up. 3 pounds down this week though, so thats good.

Also, I had no idea where my port was! What I thought was my port, was not! Its below the incision further down on my tummy than I thought. Interesting.

Charlene~ Thinking about your husband, hope everything is going well!

Long~ Glad you're back girlfriend! And really happy that there were no bear incidences!

Off to class! I despise summer classes!

~Meredith

Glad no infection - Laura had the same thing - you will be ok

Hugs

I called my Dr office today and spoke to the nurse I saw Fri. she claimed she answered all my questions on Fri. she was mean and judgmental . She told me maybe I should reconsider surgery , What nerve! Anyways I got my official approval letter from my insurance and I got my med clearance . :thumbdown::thumbup:Thanks to everyone who responded to my questions.

Bugs - Congrats on your approval - ya some doc offices are crappy - I'm lucky to have a great doc..

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Laura

I'm going to Nottawasaga - Ontario Canada - it's about an hour outside Toronto (that's the airport I'm flying into)

We are going to some Elvis Festival on 7/24 street dance thingie...

I don't know where I am going execpt to my friend Candice's house :0) in Canada :0)

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Well, my son did not get called back for Biggest Loser. I think he was relieved because it is for 14 weeks and workouts are 6-10hrs a day. I know he will get back on a plan. You have to have been inspired after watching all the super morbid obese stand in line for Biggest Loser.

Okay, peeps, I will be busy this week. I will check back in after my DH gets home from having gastric bypass. Keep him in your prayers!

HUGS and LOVE to all!

Your DH will be in my thoughts,....i've had the bypass, and it was THE answer for me. It was not easy in my case, because of all the damage from the band, but it WAS the ultimate solution. It's a little more diffcult of a "ride" than the band, but for many people, it is a much better solution. Give him my best!:thumbdown:

HH

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Your DH will be in my thoughts,....i've had the bypass, and it was THE answer for me. It was not easy in my case, because of all the damage from the band, but it WAS the ultimate solution. It's a little more diffcult of a "ride" than the band, but for many people, it is a much better solution. Give him my best!:rolleyes:

HH

Props HH - That was very nice :0)

I have a couple of friends with bypass and they have done very well too..

To each their own and I think for some that bypass is a better opinion.

My doc had you fill out a questionnaire about your eating habits and then he suggested what would be best for the individual.

As we all know no WSL is the magic cure to our issues with food..

Right now I want to eat with abandonment and not worry about how many calories I am consuming.. I can eat around my band if I choose to - but alas - I can't and I know this mentally - but if I want to keep the healhtier body that I have today - I can't and even though I hate the saying - nothing taste as good as thin feels (cuz it's not really true)

I can say right now nothing is going to taste as good as the new found energy that I have since losing 112 lbs .

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Hi, I'm here.....that's about the extent of it, though..... Gall bladder surgery at 11:00 am on Thurs... Full 10 inch horizontal incision on my right side under my port... things went okay until my blood pressure dropped off to 43/34.................so back to surgery at 4:00 pm....2 units of blood and wow...... back to that whipped little kitten stage for me AGAIN..... Had to have another unit of blood on Saturday, but came home yesterday.. Can't do anything for a month... at least my band is intact and still full to 7.2 cc's..... Sorry, I don't have the energy to read and catch up on everyone right now... Try to do that soon... Just checking in... TTYL............ Julie

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Props HH - That was very nice :0)

I have a couple of friends with bypass and they have done very well too..

To each their own and I think for some that bypass is a better opinion.

My doc had you fill out a questionnaire about your eating habits and then he suggested what would be best for the individual.

As we all know no WSL is the magic cure to our issues with food..

Right now I want to eat with abandonment and not worry about how many calories I am consuming.. I can eat around my band if I choose to - but alas - I can't and I know this mentally - but if I want to keep the healhtier body that I have today - I can't and even though I hate the saying - nothing taste as good as thin feels (cuz it's not really true)

I can say right now nothing is going to taste as good as the new found energy that I have since losing 112 lbs .

It has been interesting to me as I have gone through this process to note how MANY doctors do NOT give their patients the questionaire that yours did. So many of them seem to "push" one particular procedure over another, regardless of how well it might be suited for the patient. It took me a long, long time to understand all of the differences, and realize that malabsorbtion is, in fact, what it was that I needed, and not restriction. I think that this is where much of the failure and suffering in WLS springs from; choosing the wrong procedure for your particular eating disorder.

As an "industry", I think Bariatric medicine has a LONG ways to go in being able to effectively educate their patients (and their doctors, in many cases) on how to choose the procedure that will work the BEST for the individual.

"I can say right now nothing is going to taste as good as the new found energy that I have since losing 112 lbs"

A wonderful quote indeed. I have heard it stated as:

"nothing could possibly taste as good as I feel when i'm healthy!"

:rolleyes:

HH

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