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I'm going down hill, i need some support & advice please.



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hey everyone? how r u doing? i need some advice. since the end of march, 2008, i been going down hill with my success from my lap band surgery. i weighed 165lbs in march and ever since then i been like gaining 1-2 lbs hear and there. i cheat almot every single Day!!! i am being all stupid by cheating but i went through and still going through a bad time cuz in the end of march, my sister in law (My bro's wife) passed away and we still don't know what happened to her yet. she had gotten gastric bypass surgery in nov. 2007 and we had the same doctor and i just saw her a day before she passed away. and we were dieting together and ever since she passed away i haven't really paid too much attention to my diet. i need to get back on track with it. i didn't do all this hard work for nothing. :) I worked so hard and i lost 62lbs all togther since oct. 2007 and i am just going to wind up gaining all the weight back god forbid. can anyone help me get back on track with my diet? can anyone give me so suggestions and advice? please i would really appreciate it a lot! also i have another question. when i am done eating i usually hiccup a lot. does that mean that i am full? and once in a while i eat and drink at the same time. is really bad? cuz i think that it washes down the food. please help me out. thank you

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Sorry to hear about your loss, you have to try to think positive.. I know that my seem hard but if there is one thing with stress it can actually make you gain weight because you give off this chemical.. can't remember what it is called but it works against you. Try not to cheat .. do something else, go for a walk, ride a bike, call a friend.

You do not want to gain back what you lost as this would just put you in a deeper spiral.

We are here for you!! :)

Take care and all the best!

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My condolences to you Karen, your brother and your families on the loss of your sister in law. It sounds like she and you were a great partnership for eachother. Start off with small goals and steps for yourself....eg. for my next meal I will make a healthier food choice and I will chew my food slowly. If you make an unhealthy or easy choice (eg. icecream, milkshake) go easy on yourself and rather than thinking "oh well I have screwed up today so I may as well eat what I want for the rest of the day and start again tomorrow" recommit to choosing a healthier option for the next thing you eat.

Let your family know that you are making this change, ask them for support.

Yes you have gained some weight but you know that you have also lost weight before your sister in law's death. You will be able to get back on track however it is also important to give yourself time to grieve... you may be findng it a little difficult to focus too strictly on your food choices at the moment.

When feeling the urge to cheat, ask yourself.... will eating this get me closer to my goal weight. Is this something I would have eaten if my sister in law was next to me?

Get back on track one baby step at a time and remember to ask for support when you need it, especially at this sad time.

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My condolences to you Karen, your brother and your families on the loss of your sister in law. It sounds like she and you were a great partnership for eachother. Start off with small goals and steps for yourself....eg. for my next meal I will make a healthier food choice and I will chew my food slowly. If you make an unhealthy or easy choice (eg. icecream, milkshake) go easy on yourself and rather than thinking "oh well I have screwed up today so I may as well eat what I want for the rest of the day and start again tomorrow" recommit to choosing a healthier option for the next thing you eat.

Let your family know that you are making this change, ask them for support.

Yes you have gained some weight but you know that you have also lost weight before your sister in law's death. You will be able to get back on track however it is also important to give yourself time to grieve... you may be findng it a little difficult to focus too strictly on your food choices at the moment.

When feeling the urge to cheat, ask yourself.... will eating this get me closer to my goal weight. Is this something I would have eaten if my sister in law was next to me?

Get back on track one baby step at a time and remember to ask for support when you need it, especially at this sad time.

hey every one, thanks for all ur support and advice and thanks mss for everything u told me. i do that all the time. when i cheat 1 day with like ice cream or something and i'm still eating healthy by dinner i'm like ah what the heck i'll cheat for the rest of the day and go back to my diet tomorrow, and i just wind up cheatin day after day which is really bad. i usually cheat with ice cream, or chocolate, or Peanut Butter lol and they are all no good for me. but i read what u wrote and it does make sense and i should be thinking and asking myself is this food gonna get me at my goal weight? i'm gonna think of that every time i feel the urge to cheat. so thank you.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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