Fat people in movies

[Gone4Now 4]

I agree that it's a hard choice to make when marketing propaganda throws one thing at you, and the media is throwing something totally different. A weight watchers commercial, then a Sonic ad...It does seem that there are two factions with one common denominator: The money. :tt2:

I guess I'm on the fence, leaning toward healthy. I DO think fat people are attractive. I know I'm prettier than my size 7 friend who's bones stick out of her pelvis area. (We thought it was the security tag on a dress she was trying on...NOT pretty.)

But.

Attractive and healthy are different. If your bone structure is big, or you're taller, then it's not the pounds. You know what your fat content vs. muscle content is on your body.

I was always big - my mother was always big. I could run circles around all my friends...then I had a kid....then I got a little bigger, now I'm older and still in good "health" but I can FEEL IT. My bones hurt, I get tired - I'm almost 33, and I feel older than some 53 year olds I know.

My mother? She was always so strong. I looked up to her. She moved furniture, would just GO GO GO. But, then it hit her, too. Now she has health problems. High blood pressure, gout - things I have no doubt were brought on by her weight. Her sister is only a few years younger than her and still very active and very fit. She's 100 pounds less, too. She does have one health issue - she's struggling with hearing loss.

I'm NOT saying it's not attractive. I am saying it's not healthy. It can't be. Right now you may be healthy, but later on it will hit you. Hell, I didn't even get the surgery based on any co-morbid diseases - just my BMI. The nurse went through the questionnaire...and at the end said: You don't have ANY of these issues? NOPE. I'm HEALTHY. For now.

I do agree that just because you're fat you shouldn't think you're ugly. But, I agree with Wheetsin that we shouldn't say "it's OK - be fat - no worries." I think healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle is what should be promoted - not a weight or size.

But, movies make fun of fat people - we shouldn't promote that either. That's not the way to guide peolple to a healthier lifestyle. That brings shame and with shame comes more eating...If you are fat, you can still love yourself. But, if you love yourself, don't you want to be healthy?

I keep looking at the picture of the Gossip chick and can't help but think that if I saw that look on a skinny girl, I wouldn't like it either. It's not because she's fat, but because she's not presenting herself like she has self-esteem. She's presenting herself like she's taking a stance of defiance. "I dare you to make fun of me. I'll kick your ass." It's a defense mechanism (IMO) to ward off people making fun of her because of her weight.

Carmen (last name) from Ghost Whisperer, Mo'nique, Queen Latifa - from what I've seen of these ladies they ARE comfortable with who they are and have great self-esteem. They present themselves well, and promote self-love while also promoting healthy.

I LOVED the Fat is Beautiful phase that America went through. It meant I could justify getting larger. But, when it was MY back that hurt, MY breath that I couldn't catch...I realized it wasn't so healthy for me.

[brandyII 9]

Readysteadygo,

You are wise beyond your years and that's a compliment! Some people will never reach that level of understanding no matter how old they are. Your parents raised you well and that's important because being raised by fat haters raises children who hate themselves if they are fat and even if they aren't they can still hate their bodies. Unfortunately I was raised by a fat hating mother. Loving your body no matter what size will make for a happier life no matter if you are thin or fat! brandyII.

[brandyII 9]

Gloucester,

Just curious, when did America go through the "fat is beautiful" phase, I must have missed it! Seriously though, brandyII.

[brandyII 9]

Readysteadygo,

You have to see the original Hairspray by John Waters with Divine and Ricki Lake, it was pretty crazy. John Waters has always had fat people in his movies and they're considered cult films. I still don't like John Travolta in the movie Hairspray, he just seemed so weird to me, they should have used a real fat man! Not that John is a twig but I guess I just like the original movie better.

Anyway I agree with you whether or not people with WLS or considering having WLS agree with that point of view of loving oneself no matter what size they are is so important. Trust me this is coming from someone who thought her world would begin when she lost weight when she was 20 and then gained it all back again. It can be quite detrimental to your health, sanity-wise! brandyII

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Gloucoster (sorry spelling) I see what your saying. I gues I find that defiant look in her eye beautiful because I idenify with it. I have had to fight for acceptance for so long for being bigger, for being gay, for being different in a town full of cowboys and gossips that I guess it's become a way of thinking.

Being Healthy is very important or I wouldn't be here on this website because I wouldn't have ever considered WLS.

BrandyII- thanks for your comments. I appreciate you. I did see the original Hairspray when I was much younger before I ever knew who John Waters or Ricki Lake were. I love musicals. I was in Minnie Faye in Hello Dolly once. hehe.

[brandyII 9]

Readysgo,

Sorry I didn't mean to assume you weren't aware of John Waters I guess I was dating myself and figured you might not have seen his movies. My daughters have because of me. My favorite is "Polyester" with Divine. I think he did "Cry Baby" too with Johnny Depp, that was pretty good, did you see that one? I'm one of those great moms who introduced my kids to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" because I was a teen when it came back into theaters and became such a big deal in the late 70s.

I saw Hello Dolly on stage when I was pretty young so I really only remember it by the movie. but my eldest daughter is about 2 years younger than you and she did community theater for a while and really enjoyed that. It wasn't as political as high school theater, do you know what I mean? I'm sure you do. She's very into musicals still and always has the latest soundtrack to whatever is out! It's good to have passions like that.

I also know that through "drama club" kids tend to fit in where they may have not before. I was like that when I was in high school and that's when I made my best friends and felt the best about myself. I was pretty lucky then. Those were the good ole days!

Anyway keep your strong spirit, you are influencing younger and hopefully older people with your voice in many ways! brandyII.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

I have seen crybaby. Thats the cutest.

Have you had a chance to see Sweeney Todd then. It was interesting. Helena Bohem Carter was amazing and Johnny Depp has a really cool voice.

Oh and its ok. I was young enough when I watched the original to have no idea what I was watching. I had never heard of it. It was on some cable network one day when I was home sick from school.

[Gone4Now 4]

Gloucester,

Just curious, when did America go through the "fat is beautiful" phase, I must have missed it! Seriously though, brandyII.

:redface: I really don't even remember the decade! Yikes...I'm losing it.

But, I remember for one brief period - perhaps early 90's???? - that there was a lot of hubbub about how "fat is beautiful". I think some place in CA had rallies...that kind of thing.

It fizzled pretty quickly, though. :hurt:

Actually, all this talking about fit vs. fat got me remembering a girl from high school. She was about my size, but she was on every sports team high school offered. I remember seeing her at a grocery store and she had on her swim team swimming suit and a pair of shorts. I thought, "why can't I do that?" I was never comfy in my skin until after my daughter was born, and then I just didn't care about other people's opinions anymore.

I really do wish that I had the kind of confidence that other girl did back in high school. I certainly do see the need to tell people to love yourself - no matter what.

[brandyII 9]

Ready,

I have not seen Sweeney Todd but of course my daughters were at the midnight showing when it first came out. I'll see it when it's on DVD or when my daughter downloads it, lol. They love Johnny, he's so French and he smokes and he's wicked cool! I was really impressed with him in Cry Baby, I liked his voice a lot. He and Helena B.C. look like they could be brother/sister in Sweeney Todd. She's a great actor too and was good in Howards End, I love my Brit movies.

Oh took my 19 year old to her first weigh in today after a week on the liquid diet and she lost 12 pounds! I can tell she's really happy even though she's not a jumping up and down type of person. She's doing the Gastric bypass so won't be able to join our group but I had to give her a little cheer anyway!!! And we listened to the soundtrack of Hairspray on the way home.

Isn't cable great, what would we do without it! talk to you later Nancy.

[brandyII 9]

Gloucester,

I know exactly what you mean about confidence, that's why I like having plus size roll models in TV etc... it brings us out in the open and says hey world we have lives too and we're not perfect but still we want to enjoy life like everyone else!

I was envious and almost confused when I was younger and saw girls who were my size but they HAD confidence and I felt like it was all drained out of my body. I don't know what it was that gave those girls confidence when we didn't have it. Do you think it was parenting? I think if my mom accepted my weight, and trust me when I look at pictures of myself when I was about 12 I wasn't that big, or not as big as I felt in my "head". It just seemed like I was the odd ball in the family because everyone else was thin except for me and my father but he wasn't overweight until his 30s or 40s. He was pretty ripped as a teen life guard.

Even now when I go home for holidays etc... I'm faced with the fact that everyone is thin and their husbands/wives are thin and beautiful and I'm like "was I born into the right family, maybe switched at birth" or something. I hope one day it gets easier because it causes a lot of head stress even now!

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Ready,

I have not seen Sweeney Todd but of course my daughters were at the midnight showing when it first came out. I'll see it when it's on DVD or when my daughter downloads it, lol. They love Johnny, he's so French and he smokes and he's wicked cool! I was really impressed with him in Cry Baby, I liked his voice a lot. He and Helena B.C. look like they could be brother/sister in Sweeney Todd. She's a great actor too and was good in Howards End, I love my Brit movies.

Oh took my 19 year old to her first weigh in today after a week on the liquid diet and she lost 12 pounds! I can tell she's really happy even though she's not a jumping up and down type of person. She's doing the Gastric bypass so won't be able to join our group but I had to give her a little cheer anyway!!! And we listened to the soundtrack of Hairspray on the way home.

Isn't cable great, what would we do without it! talk to you later Nancy.

Well after the Gastric Bypass she won't be ABLE to jump around for awhile so maybe she should do it now:smile2: Tell her that this complete, but caring, stranger wishes her the best on her diffrent journey. My partner had The gastric Bypass 10 yrs ago and she is still 100 lbs lighter. It saved her life definately.

I don't think I've seen Howard End's. What is that movie about? You should watch Sweeney Todd when you get a chance. Its very entertaining.

[Gone4Now 4]

Brandy...Actually my home life was the opposite. My mother has been fat my whole life. I piss her off because I'll see her college pictures and say, that was YOU? (She gained weight right after college and never went back to that size.)

But, my obesity was ignored. No, honey, you're not fat. I got that all the time from mom, but I sure was made fun of at school.

So, that's where my insecurities came from - other kids.

I asked my daughter if she was ever teased for being overweight and she said: No way! So, a lot has changed, and for that I'm happy.

I just hope I don't become the weight nazi for my daughter.

[brandyII 9]

Ready,

Unless you like Brit movies, you might find Howards End a bit boring. It's stars Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson and Helena B.C. It takes place in the Edwardian era, I think. Let's just say if my husband is watching it with me he's snoring within seconds! Did you like Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility those kinds of films. It's a bit different, different author, not Jane Austin and different time period but still very British and an interesting story. It's hard to explain but see if you can rent it and if you do let me know what you think. I love Emma Thompson so maybe that's why I liked the film, she's one of my favs.

[brandyII 9]

Gloucester,

It's hard to deal with overweight kids, it's not that I wanted mine to be overweight but they are. A lot of my thin sibs ended up having overweight kids too. I know that my kids had it rough at school also, especially my youngest as she's also 6 feet tall so it was twice as hard. I don't remember being teased that much by other kids, I went to Catholic School so that was pretty much frowned upon back then.

I mainly felt it from relatives like I was the black sheep of the familily or something. I've been very up front with my daughter's issues at school though and believe it or not I'm usually a pretty laid back and shy person but if an instance were to happen like all kids getting weighed in front of each other at school and I knew my daughter was freaking about it I'd talk to the teacher. I may have contributed to her problems but I really tried to do the best I could and be supportive and help her with whatever she wanted, needed. We can only do the best we can for our kids and loving them is the first thing. I'm far from perfect but I didn't want them to get that bad feeling from me as I did from my mother you know. I can't change the rest of the world I can only change myself, Nancy.

[Gone4Now 4]

Pride and Prejudice is my all time fav movie. Love it, love it, love it...the A&E version.

Ready,

Unless you like Brit movies, you might find Howards End a bit boring. It's stars Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson and Helena B.C. It takes place in the Edwardian era, I think. Let's just say if my husband is watching it with me he's snoring within seconds! Did you like Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility those kinds of films. It's a bit different, different author, not Jane Austin and different time period but still very British and an interesting story. It's hard to explain but see if you can rent it and if you do let me know what you think. I love Emma Thompson so maybe that's why I liked the film, she's one of my favs.