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Confession of an emotional eater/food addict
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I only have mild restriction but if I eat the wrong food or eat too quickly, I get stuck. I have noticed quite a few times that I can be walking around with this terribly uncomfortable feeling of being stuck and I'm thinking about what I can eat next. What?! Am I insane?! I'm stuck because I'm engaging in some bad habit (such as soft bread or rice, eating too fast, eating after I am full) and I can't wait to eat the next fattening, artery clogging, sloth making mouthful. Before the band, I didn't really think that I was an emotional eater. Going through the process of approval made me consider certain things. The psych doctor asked me if I hid my eating. No, of coarse not. Then I realized that I wait til my husband leaves before I have that bowl of ice cream etc. I noticed that if I questioned myself about if I should eat something that sometimes I would hurry up and eat it as if I was afraid I would talk myself out of it. When I got mad I would eat. When I don't want to think, I eat. Its harder to think about uncomfortable things when you are shoving food into your mouth. I have a lot of uncomfortable things to think about. Things from the past that don't matter to anyone but sure hold me back. Insecure feelngs of not being good enough. Now I just lost my job and my daughter won't let me see my newborn grandson because of some stupid insignificant fight we had. I thought about going to see a counselor to share some of this but I know that I will cry and then I will feel ashamed and weak for crying. It aint easy being green. I was beginning to have some pride about my exercise efforts since my lap band. Now I realize this huge area I need to work on that is probably more important than exercise. I know this probably seems indulgent to be taking up space but I thought there might be other people out there who haven't admitted to themselves that theres more of a problem than eating too much and exercising too little.