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Stupid people and their stupid opinions



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Jana:

I have to tell you that I can totally sympathize. I had decided not to tell anyone except for a select few. Then I learned that if you tell your mother that automatically voids your wish. This is means that she can tell anyone as long she says, "But don't tell anyone." I gave up and now I just let anyone know...I figure it it my life and while I don't need to hear the negative feedback, I can take it knowing that I am going to show them all!

You're right... God love our mothers, but, they just cant help but dish with their sisters and anyone else they know....lol....We will be alright. In fact God LOVE everyone of us. To hell with the naysaying bastards!!:ohmy:

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I went through the same thing of people telling me I was taking the easy way out and that ridiculous question of "Did you try diets?" Now on the flip side, people tell me I look good and coworkers who didn't know I had the surgery are asking what I am doing to lose weight. I proudly tell people I have had lapband surgery. You are making a GREAT choice and you won't regret it!!!!!!:ohmy:

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I guess I took an "in-between" approach to telling people. Other than family and close friends, I didn't tell anyone BEFORE the surgery. I was nervous enough as it was - and frankly, I was afraid it would fail just like every other diet. However, I didn't want to be dishonest - so I promised myself that if anyone asked - I would tell the truth. A few weeks after surgery - it started to show. Now, at 50 lbs gone - people are noticing left and right. So, of course they say, "Wow, what are you doing?", and I say, "Well, I had lap band surgery in February, and it is helping me to eat less and be full longer. I'm really happy with it so far - thanks for noticing my hard work!"

I have NEVER had anyone make a negative comment after that - and I've probably told 100 people at this point. Who will say something unkind when it is obvious that it has WORKED!! Yay!

I do think it is the obligation of lap band patients to educate others. Remember - most naysayers either 1) Don't know what they are talking about and need our help to learn, or 2) Are confusing lap band with gastric bypass, or 3) Are fat themselves and are jealous that we are "leaving the club".

So hold your head up high - bask in the support of those who really love you, and patiently educate those who need your help.

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When I visted my mother in Feb. she said that I need to do something about my weight (admitted yo-yo dieter). So when I called her and said I am taking the first step for a better life I get the lecture about are you sure you want to go this route. Why don't you try to diet (remember yo-yo), sigh.

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Great story, I wonder if that phys. asst. had a weight problem????? I would have turned and stuck my tongue out at her and did a nener nener LOL. But behind the doctors back heh heh She was just jealous I bet.

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Becca, love your you tube blog you look great......keep it up. Your an inspiration to this 60 year old. Looking forward to seeing "less" of you. but more of you on the blog.

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I haven't been banded yet, but when I saw my folks a few weeks ago, I started dropping hints about changes I plan to make. Like cutting down on portions, eating protein/veggies first, exercising, etc. That way, when the time comes, I'm doing the work (but I'll have the help of the lapband) :thumbup:

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I wanted to say that I have been one of the blessed ones that has gotten nothing but support from those that I have told about my decision. I guess I should say that 2 people asked me if I was going to do this for my boyfriend. I told them nope! It was for me!!! The ladies in my office are being more than kind to me in helping me stick to my dietary restrictions. It has been a very positive time for me. I am truly blesesd to have all of this happening for me.

I hope for you the same.

Nancy:rolleyes2:

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I am sorry about people saying such things. I was talking with my Dr. today about support and who I have told. Only two people I have told and thats going to be it. My BFF and my hubby. She said that was wise to do. People can be very judgemental and hurtfull without even trying to be. It is a personal medical situation and sometimes people just don't need to know. A lot of people get that jealousy thing going on too. I am realizing more and more this is the place to be for support. These men and women who have been there will help support you. Keep your chin up!!!

Edited by Rebecca1203

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I too am selective of who I tell about the lap band procedure. I am scheduled for May 20th and I am becoming more excited each day. I just told my boss on Monday and he was so supportive. He assured me that he would do whatever he could to help me and whatever I needed he was there for me. (My boss is over weight and he has diabetes and high blood pressure also). He then told me that after my surgery and and recovery, he would look into the lapband himself. He even asked me about the steps I had taken to become approved. He is totally on board with the surgery and I am thankful for his support. Whew!!!

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I'm sorry that you'r having this trouble. Tell Mom and Hubby they aren't helping. I have chosen to only have my husband and 2 close friends/co-workers know. As far as when I have my surgery.. I'm just planning on saying I'm having some outpatient procedure done and be very vague. I just don't want to go thru what you have having to go thru. It's bad enough being fat and having to go thru all that stuff.

Gl to you. I hope to read your journey in the POST op stuff now.

Molly

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OH THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE!!! I had pretty much decided to tell VERY few people. A couple of freinds and family only. My first friend I told on Sunday was fabulously supportive. My husband has been WONDERFULLY supportive (especially as I told him our insurance would not cover it!) My confidence was up! So yesterday I got my surgery date (5/15) and called my sister. She started in on how dangerous it was and that she really could not be happy about it that she had a friend whose sister had gotten very sick ( I think she did gastric bypass!) I was so suprised at her reaction and did not handle it very well - a few tears! But I told her I would send her some articles about it and ask her to please do some research or at least some reading before she passed judgement on my decision.

It really took the wind out of my sails and just reinforced my decision not to tell many people. The trouble is I was really hoping she would help support me when I told my mother. Oh well!

Learned my lesson, huh?

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Wow... y'all are so much nicer than me.

I've envisioned the following conversation:

Them: "Hey, you look great - are you losing weight?"

Me (in a down-trodden tone): "Yeah, about 20 pounds so far."

Them: "That's great! How are you doing it?"

Me: "I have an incurable condition, called a brain cloud. I'd rather not talk about it."

Then after collecting a few fawning apologies - the kind you never get when you tell people that fat jokes and nicknames like "big guy" aren't appreciated - you can let them off the hook. Or not. :rolleyes:

Please keep in mind that I'd never actually do this. Probably. But wouldn't it be fun? Especially to someone who treated you poorly in the past?

(For the record, since I'm new here - this was intended as humor. My sense of humor can charitably be called "dark". I don't think that's going to change as the weight comes off.)

-Dito

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I'm sorry that you'r having this trouble. Tell Mom and Hubby they aren't helping. I have chosen to only have my husband and 2 close friends/co-workers know. As far as when I have my surgery.. I'm just planning on saying I'm having some outpatient procedure done and be very vague. I just don't want to go thru what you have having to go thru. It's bad enough being fat and having to go thru all that stuff.

Gl to you. I hope to read your journey in the POST op stuff now.

Molly

Thanks Molly...and Good luck to you as well!!! You are definitely doing the right thing by keeping it between you and trustworthy non blabbers. See you on the other side GF!!:)

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Hey Dito!

I like the humor. It reminds me of my friend that had a bypass. He went in to his boss's office to talk about the needed time off for his surgery and my friend told his boss that he was having a sex change operation!!! He told me that the look on his boss's face was priceless!!!

Life is too short not to have some giggles every now and then.

Like I have said before, I am one of the blessed ones in that all that I have told and I have told lots of people, I have gotten about 99% positive feedback!!

I have have kidded with a few of my friends and told them that I was having a face lift!! That always gets a chuckle!!

Keep smiling!!

Nancy :)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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