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I'm losing weight - why do I feel down?



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I've lost nearly 70 pounds so far since November 2007. By any measure, that's a success. But I feel down and low about my weight loss. I can't explain it. I exercise, do all the 'right things' but I can't get excited about the weight loss. Is this something others have experienced? Any helpful suggestions welcome.

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Sometimes I get down on how much more I need to lose and not the accomplishments so far. When I'm down I get a new outfit, massage, new haircut, etc. That tends to pick me up. Also, do you or have you had depression in the past? Sometimes that can be the underlying issue.

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Hi Steve, Could it be that you are losing your self identity.? If you have thought of your self as a "portly gentleman" for many years and now you aren't, you might feel a little lost. Crazy as it sounds people see themselves and identify with a lot of unhealthy things Like the smoker, the fat girl, the sickly person, the soldier, etc. When they have to give up their self image, even if they hated it, they grieve for it. Does that make any sense to you?

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Did you think losing weight would fix some other issues or problems in your life?

Seventy pounds is a big amount in a short time, maybe your head hasn't caught up yet.

Sometimes we get so caught up in getting to the end goal, we don't enjoy a few things along the way. Go to the theatre, enjoy a movie, have friends over for dinner. We stop our lives until we reach the perfect "place".

Celebrate the weight loss by doing something you wished you could have done before, but were afraid you couldn;t. Go kayaking or for a hike, something physical that isn't just exercise in the gym.

Maybe someone's answer here will resonate with you. Maybe you just suffer from depression?

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I think it depends most on the reason WHY you are down. Do you feel like it's not enough? If so, look at the milestones you've hit. Calculate your BMI and see what it was and what it is now. Things like being past the halfway point help me too.

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Me Me Me<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

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I've never been under the delusion that losing weight would solve all my problems but there quite a few areas that I thought it would improve.<o:p></o:p>

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I was hoping my sex drive would pick back up and it hasn't. I was hoping shopping for clothes would be more enjoyable and it's more stressful than ever now. I was hoping exercise would get easier and wouldn't require so much extra motivation and that definitely hasn't happened. I was hoping to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin and that also hasn't happened. I've lost 95lbs and I don't feel much different than I did at 300lbs. I guess I was really in denial about how big I had gotten.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I keep saying that I'm going to start therapy but I'm really going to put the wheels in motion soon.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p></o:p>

I hope you feel better soon.<o:p></o:p>

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I went thru the same thing.

Your body has been decomposing, dying literally. Your body is panicing that you are trying to kill it. So happy? NOT!

Saddness, the blues, depression...whatever you want to call it.

I had that until I reached my goal and went to maintenance.

Now my body has evened out, and I find myself not as sad.

just hang in and hang on!

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I do suffer from depression - had it for the last 15 years or so. But my depression doesn't mean I can't enjoy some things, and my weight loss has been one of my biggest achievements in recent years. I have had several NSVs - including today, putting a medium size T shirt on. My family are very supportive and are so pleased and proud of me. I just don't seem able to join them.

A friend said to me the other day that he was jealous of me for my weight loss. That had the effect of me questioning whether or not my weight loss was a good thing. Part of me says 'OF COURSE!', but I'm not confident about that all of the time.

When I was in my 20s I was a runner and 147 pounds. I loved myself at that weight, but my depression put paid to that. I know I'll never return to that person, but I wish I could enjoy the fact I'm succeeding.

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Now that I am losing, I mourn the years I wasted being fat and I sometimes dwell on how I could have done this to my body, now that skin is haning on my arms on legs. I feel like it was a form of self mutilation, even though I don't feel it was intentional.

Like the Crystal meth users I see on TV shows that lose all their teeth or the alcoholic that has damaged their liver and then go into recovery.

But I don't dwell on that long.. what's done is done. I can only try to fix it the best I can now and enjoy what life I have left now!

so you can't run anymore, can you go for long walks instead? The pro baseball player has to quit sometime,too. Most of us cannot do what we did forever. I can't have a baby anymore either.

Maybe you're just mourning the loss of your youth?

I think it's the rare person that is laid to rest weighing the same they did in their youth.

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Steve I just been banded. Have spent manys year latly depressed and never had a reason to be. I think sometimes we lose who we. Try to find your self again you are there some where. We are all getting older and cant do many of the things we felt were inportant. I ride motorcycles so does all my fam thats who I id with now. You come a long way in a short time. you got folks who care around you. Find the new you. Good luck

Hess

banded 2/28

down 28 lbs this am

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Great job on losing so well. I'm wondering if your afraid you'll just gain it back. Kind of like, I've done this before and gained it back so what will be different this time. I think depression is a very complex emotion. So many feelings and experiences. Maybe with time you can trust yourself to be happy again.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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