Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Moderator and Privacy Issues on LBT



Recommended Posts

Well, I was one of the ones that chose to speak up (even though I knew I'd get knocked down) and sure enough, it didn't take one of the other members long to begin lashing out at me. So instead of allowing myself to become angry and lash back out at her, I decided to just delete that thread and let it die. I certainly didn't want to add to the ever building mayhem that was LBT last week.

I do owe everyone an apology for saying that it was all a pile of horse shit. I shouldn't have started things off that way, I suppose that it was just the way that I felt about it all at the time. So please, accept my humblest of apologies for saying that.

I was also one of the ones that decided to leave. I was tired of the way that things were going, and tired of this place being the melodrama that it was. I feel that I have enough drama in a day in the tantrums that my beloved son seems to love to throw as of late. Trust me, that's enough to deal with all on its own.

This place had been my resting spot. It was the one place that I could come to for support, advice, to laugh, to cry, and to just kick back and relax. When it ceased being that for me I had to make the hard decision to let it go.

I missed so many people in this last week that I actually called my mom telling her how bummed out I was about it all. Don't get me wrong - LBT is not my life. I have a wonderful husband and son who consume the major parts of my day (as well as trying my best to keep the house in somewhat working order and clean). But still - LBT is a "part" of my life. I have people who I care about and adore here. And yes, they HAVE become a part of my life as well. And that's why I got so darned sad over it all. I hated seeing a lot of those people being hurt by the chaos too.

I do wish to come back to offer my support to those who still desire it. I long to feel the connection to those here whom I still adore. I miss feeling the support that I once felt from those same individuals. And I do want to see this place become whole again.

My hope is that this place will become even better than what it was a few weeks ago. And I know that if everyone pulls together, we can make LBT an even better place than it was before we found it.

Now I'll quit my speech, and let someone else take the floor, er and microphone.

Love & Peace, ~Kelly

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Amen Darcy and Becky. And Becky thanks so much for having the courage and integrity to speak plainly.

Nancy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Becky, I not only stand behind what you've said, I stand beside you as well. I was leary of speaking my true feelings due to the lack of longevity on this site and for fear of being rejected by friends of others.

Penni, you started and closed two threads referring to private messaging you. Since you're a moderator, I don't feel those threads should have been closed. In the second one, you stated you'd learned a lot. I for one, again, since you're a moderator, would truly be interested to know what you've learned. Maybe if you share that information here, we can all learn from it.

I do think you realize you've made some unfavorable remarks and it appears you've toned things down. Good luck to all involved, which is each and every member.

Thank you for the opportunity to speak freely without being judged.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alex, I just reread your announcement and you stated, "how you suggest we fix the moderator and privacy issue on LBT.", before I could answer this or give any suggestions, I would like to know exactly what rights do the moderators have that we as members do not. Is it true they can read our private messages, while they're being written and after they've been sent? From what I understand threads can be deleted, locked, or edited. When you have time, please clarify their exact position AND what it guide lines you have given the moderators and if you think they are abiding by those guidelines. I almost forgot to mention, for the most part I applaud the moderators for devoting their endless hours to this site. This site WILL heal.

Thanks again for LBT.

If I'm not mistaken moderators can NOT read PRIVATE messages. The moderators are currently working on LBT guidelines and they'll be published shortly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

HarleyNana: I learned to be more compassionate, have a thicker skin, be patient, and that no matter how much I want things to change overnight it won't. Things will get better with time (I am referring to the LBT issues in the past). I only closed the one thread that I started asking for opinion PM's. I opened it long enough to say thank you for the PM's I did receive and then closed it again because I didn't want the thread to head in a negative way. If someone wants to respond, please send me a PM. Thank you for asking me what I have learned.

Penni, you started and closed two threads referring to private messaging you. Since you're a moderator, I don't feel those threads should have been closed. In the second one, you stated you'd learned a lot. I for one, again, since you're a moderator, would truly be interested to know what you've learned. Maybe if you share that information here, we can all learn from it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi All,

I mostly lurk on this site but if ever there was a time to post it seems now is a good one.

I have no idea as to what went on here lately, but what I do know is I have learned so much from all of you. I have been so inspired by so many here.

I have quietly shared in your triumphs and sorrows and prayed for you well being. I would hate for whatever happened to ruin such an amazing site like this. It is truly a godsend to me and others who are looking into, trying to get or have gotten the band.

I hope I can continue to learn from all of you. And maybe now its time for me to start sharing more about my journey with all of you.

Thanks for sharing, caring, encouraging and supporting us all on this weight loss journey.

Amy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alex and Penni thank you both for answering my questions, it means a lot to me, as does this site.

Alex, I think it's pretty obvious we are all so grateful to have LBT, so we are able to voice our thoughts, our concerns, and share our opinions. Thanks for not getting frustrated with us and shutting down LBT.

PS... congratulations on your weight loss as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your punishment for this outburst is that we're going to ignore it. Deal with it.

Geezer Sue

Self-appointed Queen of LBT

Everyone's got good stuff, enough

I'm sick of this shit, censor me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sue, maybe you really should be the official Queen of LBT. :) Granted, this would take the board into a whole new and bizarre realm, but at least it would get us out of this mess! ;)

Nancy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh - one more little comment.

If ever, in the moderators' wisdom, a post is deleted, a note should be left in its place stating that the post was deleted by the moderators. That way the person who got deleted knows it was deleted on purpose, and they can contact the moderators for more information if they are unclear as to why their post disappeared.

I think post deletion should only be used in the most extreme circumstances, with agreement by all moderators. If a post is deleted by anyone save the user who created it, every moderator should know about it and be able to defend the decision if asked by the user.

No moderator should be deleting posts on their own personal whim, IMHO. The fact that a post was deleted should not be a secret.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Donali's suggestion sounds good to me. And I still think that anyone should be allowed to delete his/her own posts without interference.

Alex B., thank you so much for starting and maintaining this site. You have created a lifeline for a lot of people. Sorry it's been such a pain lately. And thanks to all moderators for performing a truly thankless job; I wouldn't want your responsibility.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh - one more little comment.

If ever, in the moderators' wisdom, a post is deleted, a note should be left in its place stating that the post was deleted by the moderators. That way the person who got deleted knows it was deleted on purpose, and they can contact the moderators for more information if they are unclear as to why their post disappeared.

I think post deletion should only be used in the most extreme circumstances, with agreement by all moderators. If a post is deleted by anyone save the user who created it, every moderator should know about it and be able to defend the decision if asked by the user.

No moderator should be deleting posts on their own personal whim, IMHO. The fact that a post was deleted should not be a secret.

This is how I guess I assumed it was before?...I agree wholeheartedly!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Definitely agree with Donali (do I sound like Rainman???)

Just one other thing - I personally would like to know IF any member here HAS used another alias and posted here as another person - I don't want to be inflammatory but I would like to know if this has occured - disagreeing with someone's opinion is one thing, but falsifying a whole identity, and deliberately fooling people is another - if anyone who has done this, we should all be made aware of it, in my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sure there were some people who did use other names trying to deciet other members and were trying to scare other members with their threatening PM"s But then I'm sure there were members who used other screen names for safety reasons, in fear of certain members. Either way it is a done deal, we all need to wait for Alex's new guidlines, then move on and put this entire mess past us or this board will never be the same!

Do you realize how stressed out most of us have been over this mess , I speak for myself here when I say it has affected my weight loss and eating habits the last week and a half , anyone else? This is not why we come here!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Darrylkeelf

        dating site just for sex in florissant- https://allwarrior.xyz/?dj7sZN

      3. Darrylkeelf

        dating site just for sex in florissant- https://allwarrior.xyz/?dj7sZN

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×