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To Tell or Not to Tell???

I have wonderful support from my husband (he was the one who had actually suggested it, even though I'd seen and thought about it before, I just hadn't told him) but I'm not sure about the rest of my family and friends. My parents have been brutal (especially my dad) about my loosing weight since I was an adolescent. My mom lost weight the old fashioned way, going from about 175 to 135 in a year. My parents also own a TaeKwonDo school, which they're constantly trying to get me to come back to. I got all the way to a deputy black belt, but I still never lost weight, even with classes 3-4 times a week and soccer at school. I've been despirate and I feel like this is my last chance. But I still feel that they are going to tell me I'm taking "the easy way out," or am "cheating." As for my friends, a few of them are also overweight, but I know they can't afford this surgery (I got lucky, my insurance covers it). I'm afraid of disapointing my family, jealousy from friends and bitterness on both ends. Plus, my in-laws talk WAY too much, and I don't want to have to explain my choices to my mother-in-law's dietitian friend, or anyone else I hadn't intended to tell.

Anyhow, now that I've outlined my whole history, sorry, any suggestions?

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Hello,

I was banded Jan 3rd and at first I did not want to tell anyone. My boyfriend went with me to the senimar and that helped so much. He now "gets it". I knew my mom would be supportive, and she was. We had a heart to heart, and she understood the emotional side of it all. What I ended up doing was writing a e-mail to the rest of the family "three brothers and families". I explained the band, surgery and pretty much told them that I WAS going to do this. I told them of all the researching I had done,gave them the web site to my Dr which had a video for them to watch. They have watched me struggle with my weight all my life, going up and down.. always gaining it back. I got wonderful support from each and every person.That being said, only you know your family. If you decide not to tell, that is great. You have your husband for support. One thing I will say, is this is not a easy way out. I have worked harder on this band than I have on any other diet. Mostly because I am self pay and I WANT THIS TO BE MY LAST WEIGHT LOSS.

Do it for yourself and your health.

Lois

Hi,

The only person that knows right now is my sister. She is staying with me for the first week. I was banded yesterday. I brought this conversation up with my friend and he seemed to be negative to the idea so I changed the subject. I probably will tell my parents, probably when I see them next. They live out of state, so won't be seeing them for bit. Not sure how they will take it, but due to some of my medical history this is the right choice for me. I'm thankful my sister lives close to take care of me during the beginning of my new journey.

Mke

I tell everyone I meet! Everywhere! In WalMart... at work... the hairdresser... you name it... lol I just cannot contain my enthusiasm and excitement. I have already encouraged over a dozen people to visit my doctor (only after they ask of course).

Also, my reason for not keeping it a secret was because it is normal for people to "talk" if someone loses a lot of weight (especially at my job). I did not want them whispering stuff like: is she on drugs? is she sick? does she have cancer? etc.

I preferred to have them KNOW why I was losing weight, and be encouraging and supportive of my efforts... and they have been :D

I'm not telling anyone, only my husband and daughter know. I had a coworker who was banded, she told everyone, shows them the port, the incision scars, etc. I'm just not that bold. plus after hearing all the negativity regarding her procedure, there is no way i would tell.

this is my decision, for my life, i am somewhat a private person, so i dont want people to know. 15 years ago i worked out, got into bodybuilding and looked great, i was so proud of myself, it was the best i looked in all my life, but then i slipped, and i hated myself for not keeping it up. now for the past 8 years i have been obese, i cant stand to look in the mirror, i'm close to 40 and all my relatives have several health conditions that i am hoping to avoid. i want to be able to breath when i lay down, i don't want to be winded when i walk from my room to the kitchen.

Do what you feel comfortable with, it's okay to tell people, the down side is it can stress you cause sometimes they ask to many question. I told alot of people I was so excited, one of the reasons is for me I knew it would help me stay on track because I knew they would be watching my success. By seeing my sucess I now have 3 people who have had it because I inspired them to do something about their weight. Your always going to have someone who questions your decision, that's okay everyone has a right to their own thoughts. But this is a decision that can improve your health and quality of life. I would encourage anyone to consider the lapband, it's changed my life or rather it gave me my life back.

Hi, I'm struggling with this same decision. I told my closest friend that I'm having it, (she had gastric bypass several years ago) and my mother, who after asking not to, told my brother. My brother totally freaked out and started yelling and screaming at me. He said I was stupid, that it was unhealthy, and that I was going to die. GOOD GRIEF! He's so dramatic! My father knows, as he had lap band 1 1 /2 years ago, and has lost 140 lbs. These are the ONLY people I will tell. OH, of course my husband knows who is extremely the most supportive, important person in my life. These are the ONLY few people that I will tell. I feel like it's not of anyone's business. I too worry about people noticing if I'm out to eat with them, etc... or seeing me eat pretty much nothing. I feel like they will think I took the easy way out. None of them know how hard I struggle to just drop a couple lbs dieting. It was great to read how others feel about this. I don't want the rest of my family knowing, as most are thin and healthy, and I feel they will be too judgemental.

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