Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Making Peace with Skin



Recommended Posts

Hi people.

I'm closer to goal than not, but I have an issue that I'm hoping your combined experiences can help me with.

It's about my skin. I need to make peace with the sagging, drooping skin that I'm living in and which is only going to get worse until I get to goal and have plastic surgery.

The thing is as a SMO woman weighing in at over 300+ I could strut nude in front of the One I Love but as someone who has lost over 100 pounds the I can no longer strut.

It's like I'm focusing on the negative (so far the only one) of losing weight and not the positives. But it's huge and I know I need to make peace with it because I'm a solid year or more away from PS. And this discontent has me making really poor, deliberately bad choices. At least I've been able to make that connection.

Any way, any help you give, tips or ideas about living happily in this body while I become thinner and healthier would be appreciated.

TIA.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Get thee to the lingerie department, and experiment with different things that you wouldn't consider before. I found a wonderful nightie that's sexy but still gives me a little "lift". I bought two! :lol: The right undergarments and nighties can make all the difference in the world.

Tami

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dont know, and I know I dont have much of a problem. But its aging too, isnt it? I am really struggling to come to terms with the fact that I feel and look so great now, but that I've wasted all my 30's being fat. I could have looked REALLY great before I started to sag and get wrinkles and sun damage etc etc. I feel so regretful that I allowed myself to get fat and like now I have this teeny tiny brief window to be an attractive sexy woman.

Which is crap. I see people in their 40's, 50's and 60's ALL the time who look absolutely fabulous, its way more to do with confidence and having style than it is with how firm your stomach is.

And even those people who you *think* are all that probably dont look that terrific naked. Hardly anyone does.

PS will make a big difference to you but I think we have to realise there's physical decline that's going to happen anyway and we all have to come to terms with that whether we've been MO or not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have this teeny tiny brief window to be an attractive sexy woman.

Dang, Jacqui, I'm 48, and I plan on at least another ten years...of course, that's *with* new boobs and butt, :redface:

Tami

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well.. just keep in mind you're getting PS. My insurance won't cover it, and I can't get the funding for it.. so I am going to have to deal with the saggy skin the rest of my life.. or unless I hit the lottery (which I don't play hah).

Keep your eye on the prize? :rolleyes2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Laura,

That's really what I need to do. Eye on the prize and not allowing momentary imagery get in the way of my long term goals.

My insurance will cover the paniculectomy (sp) but the rest is going to be paid by me. It's only money or some such thing.

Thanks,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hehe, just money. Maybe I'll take my tax stimulation thing to the bank and save up to have PS one day after I've had kids and blah blah.

But knowing you are doing the PS, anytime you see your skin and get upset about it, just think "In xxx amount of time, it'll be gone!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh Juli-

I am so with you. I find myself thinking about my skin all the time. After losing 120 its getting bad. I was worried about my belly, but it is my arms and thighs that are the worst. I really don't want to get PS and probably won't unless there is a health issue, but damn-now that I am looking good, I have the skin of an 80 year old. It really sucks!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

At least it's not fat. :rolleyes2:

The world can see when you're fat, they can't see when your skin is saggy.. THAT's what I tell myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can anyone who has been at or near goal for a long time say whether the sagging improves over time? I know that we can expect some extensive sagging when we first lose the weight, but wouldn't that improve after a couple of years, if only a little bit? I would think that the skin would gradually shrink back, once it's not being stretched out any more. I'm hoping so anyway - my plan is to hopefully hit goal in 12-18mths, maintain that for at least another year, and then see how much work I need doing. I know I'm gonna need the boobs done and probably the tummy but I was kinda hoping the arms and legs, etc would recover at least a little. I know it won't be the skin of a 20yo but is there any hope at all?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Juli:

I know exactly what you mean. Sure, I look better now than when I was fat, but I still look horrible when I'm naked.

I was divorced three plus years ago, and I hadn't thought about dating until I lost weight. Now I have lost 100 pounds and I know that I'll never feel comfortable in front of anyone in the nude with this belly fat hanging down and the tops of my legs are ridiculous too. So, like you I have that carrot hanging down in front of me for plastic surgery. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get any of it covered by insurance, so I'll be spending my retirement money. Oh well, what's a couple of more years when I've already been waiting this long.

Good luck to you and keep your eye on the prize!

Sue

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sue

Your stats are impressive. You must be very motivated indeed!

I'm looking at trying to get to 190 by my band anniversary which is a stretch goal, considering that's 17 pounds in 6 weeks!!! But I've been hanging out at this weight for a while so I'm going to focus and get it done.

Also, I'm hoping seeing the renewed success on the scales will help me feel better about the skin issue.

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought that I would give you an account of my own experience with skin and weight loss. I have always had great skin (I am so pale that I have always spent my summers indoors and this is now paying off) and I was one of those band folks who started off with a lower BMI. Within ten months I lost 50lbs which meant that I achieved my goal weight. This was truly fabulous but I was unpleasantly surprised by the damage that this weight loss did do to my skin tone. I had always looked years younger than I really am and suddenly I found myself looking kind of crepey and stringy but able to wear nice clothes thanks to the weight loss.

I was able to solve the face issue by undergoing through a face lift. This was an expensive and horribly painful stunt but it, along with my weight loss success, has left me looking pretty bluddy good.

What I am now left with, however, is old lady skin on my upper arms and my thighs. This really did surprise me. You see, I am one of those women who gains her fat on her torso. I never did get chunky in the arms and legs but, nevertheless, here I am, stuck with crepey skin on my upper arms and thighs. Fully dressed I look just fine. Stick me in a bathing suit and none of my parts match, eh. I got a 40 something face, wrists, hands and calves, and a 70 something set of thighs and upper arms. Of course my skin collapse could have been due to my age; I am an old fart and nobody gets a free ride forever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Band4EJ

I had a lower BMI and I was also surprised at the weird look of the skin on my upper arms and thighs after reaching goal. I lost the same amount of weight once before (in my late 30's) and my skin looked great. This time I am 47 years old and my skin looks crepey and weird, especially in sunlight. I expected my belly to look bad because my stomach was so huge, but I didn't expect my arms and legs to look like this! I talked to a personal trainer and she said you can "fill up" some of the droopy skin with muscle. I know that isn't possible for everybody...for some it either has to be acceptance of plastic surgery...but it might make a difference for some folks to take on some squats and bicep curls:willy_nilly:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My doctor said that legs and thighs can often be filled out with muscle, but that the stretched out belly skin often requires surgery. I have hope that my arms will look normal, but with confirmation from my lap band surgeon that they belly will not go away I have signed up for PS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×