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Making Peace with Skin

Hi people.

I'm closer to goal than not, but I have an issue that I'm hoping your combined experiences can help me with.

It's about my skin. I need to make peace with the sagging, drooping skin that I'm living in and which is only going to get worse until I get to goal and have plastic surgery.

The thing is as a SMO woman weighing in at over 300+ I could strut nude in front of the One I Love but as someone who has lost over 100 pounds the I can no longer strut.

It's like I'm focusing on the negative (so far the only one) of losing weight and not the positives. But it's huge and I know I need to make peace with it because I'm a solid year or more away from PS. And this discontent has me making really poor, deliberately bad choices. At least I've been able to make that connection.

Any way, any help you give, tips or ideas about living happily in this body while I become thinner and healthier would be appreciated.

TIA.

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Get thee to the lingerie department, and experiment with different things that you wouldn't consider before. I found a wonderful nightie that's sexy but still gives me a little "lift". I bought two! :lol: The right undergarments and nighties can make all the difference in the world.

Tami

I dont know, and I know I dont have much of a problem. But its aging too, isnt it? I am really struggling to come to terms with the fact that I feel and look so great now, but that I've wasted all my 30's being fat. I could have looked REALLY great before I started to sag and get wrinkles and sun damage etc etc. I feel so regretful that I allowed myself to get fat and like now I have this teeny tiny brief window to be an attractive sexy woman.

Which is crap. I see people in their 40's, 50's and 60's ALL the time who look absolutely fabulous, its way more to do with confidence and having style than it is with how firm your stomach is.

And even those people who you *think* are all that probably dont look that terrific naked. Hardly anyone does.

PS will make a big difference to you but I think we have to realise there's physical decline that's going to happen anyway and we all have to come to terms with that whether we've been MO or not.

I have this teeny tiny brief window to be an attractive sexy woman.

Dang, Jacqui, I'm 48, and I plan on at least another ten years...of course, that's *with* new boobs and butt, :redface:

Tami

Well.. just keep in mind you're getting PS. My insurance won't cover it, and I can't get the funding for it.. so I am going to have to deal with the saggy skin the rest of my life.. or unless I hit the lottery (which I don't play hah).

Keep your eye on the prize? :rolleyes2:

  • Author

Thanks Laura,

That's really what I need to do. Eye on the prize and not allowing momentary imagery get in the way of my long term goals.

My insurance will cover the paniculectomy (sp) but the rest is going to be paid by me. It's only money or some such thing.

Thanks,

Hehe, just money. Maybe I'll take my tax stimulation thing to the bank and save up to have PS one day after I've had kids and blah blah.

But knowing you are doing the PS, anytime you see your skin and get upset about it, just think "In xxx amount of time, it'll be gone!"

Oh Juli-

I am so with you. I find myself thinking about my skin all the time. After losing 120 its getting bad. I was worried about my belly, but it is my arms and thighs that are the worst. I really don't want to get PS and probably won't unless there is a health issue, but damn-now that I am looking good, I have the skin of an 80 year old. It really sucks!!!!

At least it's not fat. :rolleyes2:

The world can see when you're fat, they can't see when your skin is saggy.. THAT's what I tell myself.

Can anyone who has been at or near goal for a long time say whether the sagging improves over time? I know that we can expect some extensive sagging when we first lose the weight, but wouldn't that improve after a couple of years, if only a little bit? I would think that the skin would gradually shrink back, once it's not being stretched out any more. I'm hoping so anyway - my plan is to hopefully hit goal in 12-18mths, maintain that for at least another year, and then see how much work I need doing. I know I'm gonna need the boobs done and probably the tummy but I was kinda hoping the arms and legs, etc would recover at least a little. I know it won't be the skin of a 20yo but is there any hope at all?

Juli:

I know exactly what you mean. Sure, I look better now than when I was fat, but I still look horrible when I'm naked.

I was divorced three plus years ago, and I hadn't thought about dating until I lost weight. Now I have lost 100 pounds and I know that I'll never feel comfortable in front of anyone in the nude with this belly fat hanging down and the tops of my legs are ridiculous too. So, like you I have that carrot hanging down in front of me for plastic surgery. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get any of it covered by insurance, so I'll be spending my retirement money. Oh well, what's a couple of more years when I've already been waiting this long.

Good luck to you and keep your eye on the prize!

Sue

  • Author

Sue

Your stats are impressive. You must be very motivated indeed!

I'm looking at trying to get to 190 by my band anniversary which is a stretch goal, considering that's 17 pounds in 6 weeks!!! But I've been hanging out at this weight for a while so I'm going to focus and get it done.

Also, I'm hoping seeing the renewed success on the scales will help me feel better about the skin issue.

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

I thought that I would give you an account of my own experience with skin and weight loss. I have always had great skin (I am so pale that I have always spent my summers indoors and this is now paying off) and I was one of those band folks who started off with a lower BMI. Within ten months I lost 50lbs which meant that I achieved my goal weight. This was truly fabulous but I was unpleasantly surprised by the damage that this weight loss did do to my skin tone. I had always looked years younger than I really am and suddenly I found myself looking kind of crepey and stringy but able to wear nice clothes thanks to the weight loss.

I was able to solve the face issue by undergoing through a face lift. This was an expensive and horribly painful stunt but it, along with my weight loss success, has left me looking pretty bluddy good.

What I am now left with, however, is old lady skin on my upper arms and my thighs. This really did surprise me. You see, I am one of those women who gains her fat on her torso. I never did get chunky in the arms and legs but, nevertheless, here I am, stuck with crepey skin on my upper arms and thighs. Fully dressed I look just fine. Stick me in a bathing suit and none of my parts match, eh. I got a 40 something face, wrists, hands and calves, and a 70 something set of thighs and upper arms. Of course my skin collapse could have been due to my age; I am an old fart and nobody gets a free ride forever.

  • 1 month later...

I had a lower BMI and I was also surprised at the weird look of the skin on my upper arms and thighs after reaching goal. I lost the same amount of weight once before (in my late 30's) and my skin looked great. This time I am 47 years old and my skin looks crepey and weird, especially in sunlight. I expected my belly to look bad because my stomach was so huge, but I didn't expect my arms and legs to look like this! I talked to a personal trainer and she said you can "fill up" some of the droopy skin with muscle. I know that isn't possible for everybody...for some it either has to be acceptance of plastic surgery...but it might make a difference for some folks to take on some squats and bicep curls:willy_nilly:

My doctor said that legs and thighs can often be filled out with muscle, but that the stretched out belly skin often requires surgery. I have hope that my arms will look normal, but with confirmation from my lap band surgeon that they belly will not go away I have signed up for PS!

  • Author
I had a lower BMI and I was also surprised at the weird look of the skin on my upper arms and thighs after reaching goal. I lost the same amount of weight once before (in my late 30's) and my skin looked great. This time I am 47 years old and my skin looks crepey and weird, especially in sunlight. I expected my belly to look bad because my stomach was so huge, but I didn't expect my arms and legs to look like this! I talked to a personal trainer and she said you can "fill up" some of the droopy skin with muscle. I know that isn't possible for everybody...for some it either has to be acceptance of plastic surgery...but it might make a difference for some folks to take on some squats and bicep curls:willy_nilly:

I hear what you mean about squats and curls. I'm an avid exerciser. I do dead lifts, burpees, thrusters, renigade rows, some serious stuff...and I've got nice hard muscles under this skin... I stand tall and look good in my clothing and it has everything to do with weight training. Foolish are the people who do not pick up weights.

But to go from 338, or maybe even higher to about 200 where I'm at right now there's no escaping the loose skin. But now I see it as progress. I see it as par for the course. I see it as it's going to get worse before it gets better so I love what I can about it...I tanned nicely, I feel soft, it feels nice to be touched...and let the rest go.

When I was big, I had a, "this is what a fat woman looks like" attitude. Now I have a, "this is what a woman who has lost lots of weight looks like." Look or don't look...Often I chose not to look! LOL! :)

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