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Let's Talk GRIEF! An ongoing thread about bariatric grief!



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57 minutes ago, Born in Missouri said:

I had my bypass in 2018. Many foods still don't taste the same. My sense of smell and taste never really returned. That alone is worthy of mourning.

I have a problem getting enough Protein and calories. I am currently suffering from anemia (my hemoglobin had dipped to 5.2 at one point, requiring hospital admittance and blood transfusions.) The cause was determined... two ulcers slowly bleeding out.

Eating is a chore... very little pleasure left.

I definitely understand....I feel drinking is a chore now..I mourn guzzling liquids...I am with you as we'll in the anemia since surgery I'm always cold now 🙄

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8 hours ago, Mspretty86 said:

I definitely understand....I feel drinking is a chore now..I mourn guzzling liquids...I am with you as we'll in the anemia since surgery I'm always cold now 🙄

This! ^

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo sick and tired of having to drink Water. I'm not thirsty, you'd think that IF I needed fluids I'd be thirsty. The size of my stomach doesn't change how water very quickly enters my intestinal tract opposed to a larger stomach its still quickly - so why do I "need" to force more water down me? Now its just another dreaded unpleasant "chore." I mourn as well being able to drink larger amounts.

I keep waiting for the "always cold" thing, I'm still hot if its hot out and cold if its cold..no change for me.

Edited by BlondePatriotInCDA

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I grieve bread today like a bar b q sandwich with a big ass Texas size bun, I grieve all breads...due to my food addiction since surgery in April I no longer eat breads, potatoes, Cookies, candies etc ...and every damn day I'm mourning bread. Like an alcoholic in order to sustain sobriety they can't even have one sip..the same applies for me unfortunately. A slippery slope into the pits of hell

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5 hours ago, Mspretty86 said:

I grieve bread today like a bar b q sandwich with a big ass Texas size bun, I grieve all breads...due to my food addiction since surgery in April I no longer eat breads, potatoes, Cookies, candies etc ...and every damn day I'm mourning bread. Like an alcoholic in order to sustain sobriety they can't even have one sip..the same applies for me unfortunately. A slippery slope into the pits of hell

Just a good sandwich, how I miss sandwiches! Even avocado toast Mmmmm 😭

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Grief is REAL! I want all of the bread things today! Croissants, hoagies, pigs in the blanket , pizza, oh my!! Today is rough! I'm getting pissed that Water feels me up so quickly oh my the day I could throw liquids back! 😩😩😩😡

Edited by Mspretty86

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Today I grieve fried chicken! I rode by Popeyes here in Texas and was literally salivating by the mouth! Some weeks are harder than others. Due to my addiction to food I do not have cheats days nor do I get to indulge. Much like a sobering alcoholic or meth/crack addicted individual one hit/sip leads to relapse. They don't get an opportunity to have a "cheat day". I am in the same boat I can not indulge. 1 day of pulling in to the drive thru will lead to 5 consecutive days of pulling in. Ahhhhhh FRIED chicken lmao

Edited by Mspretty86

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I grieve solid food in general, but specifically Pasta. I'm fairly low income and pasta is cheap to buy and prepare. Whole-wheat alternatives are rare and unaffordable for me. Once I can eat solid food again, I'm going to have to find cheap alternatives.

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51 minutes ago, NeonRaven8919 said:

I grieve solid food in general, but specifically Pasta. I'm fairly low income and Pasta is cheap to buy and prepare. Whole-wheat alternatives are rare and unaffordable for me. Once I can eat solid food again, I'm going to have to find cheap alternatives.

Trust me I understand other baratric groups I'm in posted that they eat birdseye veggie pastas. I have not ate pasta, breads, starch since my surgery in April. I can't even indulge any longer.

IMG_6177.jpeg

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29 minutes ago, Mspretty86 said:

Trust me I understand other baratric groups I'm in posted that they eat birdseye veggie pastas. I have not ate Pasta, breads, starch since my surgery in April. I can't even indulge any longer.

IMG_6177.jpeg

Not something they have here in the UK, but I'm sure there are other veggie alternatives. Thanks for the suggestion!

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Grief is one of my favorite topics next to food post and weekly wins. I grieve often, maybe daily. Today i am in mourning as I sat down to eat after a couple of bites I was full! I could scream. The pouch is like an unruly child. Some days cooperate some days not 😡

Edited by Mspretty86

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I'm so tired of this gurgling sound when I eat! About 8 months post opp VSG. Makes me not want to eat. Grieving my normal stomach then again my normal stomach allowed me to eat to much 😡😡😡😡

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I grieve Condiments - ALOT. I miss mayo and ketchup on everything. Sounds silly, but I never realized how much I liked condiments.

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1 hour ago, Jenn on the mend said:

I grieve Condiments - ALOT. I miss mayo and ketchup on everything. Sounds silly, but I never realized how much I liked Condiments.

I am fairly sure you will be eating mayo and the like very quickly. Once you start on soft foods you will find the staple of egg salad a go to.

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On 10/22/2024 at 1:37 PM, NeonRaven8919 said:

I grieve solid food in general, but specifically Pasta. I'm fairly low income and Pasta is cheap to buy and prepare. Whole-wheat alternatives are rare and unaffordable for me. Once I can eat solid food again, I'm going to have to find cheap alternatives.

I buy pasta made from lentils or peas. It is not 100% the same but a great alternative and I just make a very small amount occasionally to have with a bolognese. Aldi does one https://groceries.aldi.co.uk/en-GB/p-the-foodie-market-gluten-free-red-lentil-beetroot-fusilli-250g/4088600206462

When I was home in Ireland for Christmas I bought a few vacuum packs of cauliflower rice so looking forward to trying them and if nice I will get more next time.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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