When I went to my 6 week post op consultation ,I happened to sit in close proximity to a woman who had also had the Gastric Sleeve .She thought she looked wonderful - I thought she looked terminally ill ."I'm nearly at my wedding weight " she said proudly .I smiled and said nothing .She was the opposite of how I wanted to look .Her hair was thin and lack lustre , her skin sagging and dull .I listened in horror as she explained she was still trying to lose weight .I thought she summed up the very look I never wanted to have .Her slimness did nothing to inspire me .So I am 3 months post op .I can now walk freely , breathe better ,and I fit into my favourite jeans .I am not at my ideal BMI but if I don't lose further weight ,I'll be content .I eat more healthily and do more . So I suppose that is my story and I'm happy with it .

Everyone has their own criteria for success… glad you have a good perspective of health and able being good things!

I don't know what to say, I hope that lady is not on this site. I am so happy that you are happy with your results

actually, there are a lot more people who never make it to goal than there are those who get that thin. But that said, if you're happy at your current weight, then maybe that's exactly where you should be!

i dont think it is fair to cast your own opinion or feeling of contentness onto her..

both of you have different outlooks and thats okay - you shouldnt shame her for it.

I did watch a video from a surgeon who said most obese people tend to look better when they weigh 15-20lbs more than their lowest goal weight. I've been thinking about that for a while because my goal is to be on the thinner side & this reminded me of that. This post does come off harsh & I feel a bit bad but I understand where you're coming from. I'm glad she's happy however!

My ideal weight is 145. I'm naturally curvy and at that weight I always looked sickly. My goal weight is 200. My secret goal is 170. I'd love to get there, but as long as I can hit 200 I'll be ecstatic. Some doctors really stress getting to the ideal/recommended weight. Others realize that's not always realistic for some, like me, and want us to get as low as we can while staying healthy and having a better lifestyle.

My PCP and surgeon love my goal of 200 pounds. I'm already moving great, dropping sizes, and off all the meds I can get off of. My diabetes and high bp are gone. So I've already hit my health milestones. The goal weight and clothing size is more for me, and my doctors are good with it.

Maybe that lady's doc is pushing for her to get to her recommended weight for her height. Who knows? But I think thin shaming is just as harmful as fat shaming. Nobody should be doing either one.

That lady is still in a process, and so long as her doctor and team are on-board and guiding her, good for her. Someone else's happiness is no-one else's business.

Consider how many people thought our obese bodies were disgusting and they'd "rather die" than look like us. Thinking the same of a skinny person is the exact same energy. Glad you're finding your happy place weight wise, but no need to be judging others on the way. We've all had our fill of that, surely?

my personal anecdote:

i weigh less today than when i decided to stop losing weight. this decision to stop weight loss was because i thought i was getting too skinny at that time..

however....i look waaaaaaaay healthier (and hotter! lol) now than i did back then. back then i had thin hair, hallowed cheeks and eyes, and generally all around frail looking.

A few months after hitting my lowest weight, i started the to perk up in the looks department.

i think rapid weight loss really does a number to one's appearance...but i also think its only temporary (in my case at least, and quite a few others that i know of).

further, even though i looked pretty gaunt back then, i still think/thought i was all that and a bag of chips.

Edited November 9, 20223 yr by ms.sss

42 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

i think rapid weight loss really does a number to one's appearance...but i also think its only temporary (in my case at least, and quite a few others that i know of).

That's actually great to know! I hear adding muscle helps as well. What did you change while at your low weight to help the rapid weight loss appearance

For awhile I looked like a terminally ill patient but after a few months of maintenance, my hair (finally lol) and skin recovered. I feel better and look better at my current weight (lowest) than I did at my goal weight of 140 lbs. I agree with Ms. SSS said, I think it is just a temporary phenomenon of rapid weightloss.

Btw, hair thins out regardless of size, it is the surgery itself, it can't be helped. It is not her fault. Her hair will grow back.

Oh do give over - I said nothing to that lady to imply shaming of any kind .I smiled and nodded at her , if that's a sin I'm a sinner .

Not everyone wants to be rail thin .I'm one of them .I've improved my health and have no need to constantly be worrying about what the scales may say .This a forum for opinions isn't it ? then let people state them without talking about what you think this unmet person may or may no be feeling .

Thanks to everyone who gets it , thankfully you are in the majority .

There are temporary side effects of losing larger amounts of weight like we do through this process. One is hair loss & some lose more or less than others. Another is looking drained, wan, tired or even gaunt. There are other individual things too. But most of these are temporary. Once our weight stabilises & our eating changes to include a broader range of foods & nutrient sources & our portion sizes increase these things change. Over time our hair regrowth is more noticeable & our remaining fat seemingly resettles. Well it did for me & my friends who also had the surgery.

Around the time my weight loss had almost stopped, my uncle told my mother I looked like death. My hour glass shape had gone but I felt good in myself & very pleased with what I had achieved. Within a few months of my weight stabilising my curves returned (hello waist - though I still don’t have a butt). My uncle told me I looked great & others commented on my glowing, healthy skin. My hair was thickening as the length of the new growth was nearing that of my existing hair.

A short time of not looking my best is nothing. Happily pay that price to feeling & looking how I do now which is way better than I have in forever. I don’t even really care about my saggy, loose skin - I’ve earned it - it’s a reminder of where I was & what I did to get where I am now.

1. You have no idea how her health was before her surgery.

2. your hair will most likely thin out as well, and then come back, it happens to the majority of us.

3. If her start weight was much higher than yours, she probably is happy to be healthy and less worried about the excess skin.

4. You should consider the way people might look at you...

I didn't see any excess skin ! her face was sagging .You have no idea how her health or weight was before surgery either .Fortunately I don't worry about how people look at me .I'm sorry you're not happy that I'm happy - but it won't keep me awake at night

21 hours ago, fed-up said:

When I went to my 6 week post op consultation ,I happened to sit in close proximity to a woman who had also had the Gastric Sleeve .She thought she looked wonderful - I thought she looked terminally ill ."I'm nearly at my wedding weight " she said proudly .I smiled and said nothing .She was the opposite of how I wanted to look .Her hair was thin and lack lustre , her skin sagging and dull .I listened in horror as she explained she was still trying to lose weight .I thought she summed up the very look I never wanted to have .Her slimness did nothing to inspire me .So I am 3 months post op .I can now walk freely , breathe better ,and I fit into my favourite jeans .I am not at my ideal BMI but if I don't lose further weight ,I'll be content .I eat more healthily and do more . So I suppose that is my story and I'm happy with it .

Happy that you made the choice to have WLS. I'm going to give you a different way of looking at this. LOTS of people (meeee) have body dysmorphia. Crazy but when i was 232lbs (5'2") and i looked in the mirror.... I didn't see 232lbs. I saw what was in my head. In fact I decided to have WLS (lapband) when I saw a picture and didn't know it was me.... the feeling was awful.......... fast forward...... 143lbs (lapband) and all I saw in the mirror was the fat girl............ fast forward....... 2+ years after lapband removed 173lbs I didn't see how terrible I looked again............ Sleeved at 173lbs and now i'm at 125-129 and I still don't see the person everyone else sees in the mirror...... I got down to 120 and i got a lot of "your soooo skinny". It's crazy how the mind plays trick on us...... and yes i'm in therapy.

So she probably doesn't see what you saw.