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What irritates you?


Guest ruprplxd

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Harleynana,

I get that all the time too, it is so annoying. It's like they keep talking even though you are trying to convince them it is another surgery. I use to carry around a picture of the band and port, just to show them

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To tell or not tell has been one of my biggest worries. Sharing it here on this forum really removed a lot of the burden and helped me come to decisions. Now that I have had the op done, I have made the decision that the only people who will know the truth will be my mother and my friend, P. The reason? Well, I don't think it really is anyone else's business and i don't want to be the subject of gossip.

That said, I do feel a bit bad about fibbing to two of my closest friends, both of whom came to visit me in the hospital and both of whom thought I'd had my gall bladder removed. I hope I can be forgiven.

I have lost weight before and enjoyed the comments. That time I was using Reductil (Meridia) and I was fairly open about it. But, it all went back on needless to say. So, this time I'll just say I'm on the ELEM diet. That's the Eat Less Exercise More diet. (I have a friend who's a personal trainer for Piers Brosnan, Brad Pitt etc. He wrote a book and I remember he told me that 96,996 words were padding: The only four you need to remember are Eat Less Exercise More!)

I do worry about social situations. I haven't had to deal with any yet (I'm only 2 days post op) But I reckon there are a enough freaky people out there not eating much at dinner parties. So either people will think i'm a coke head or trying to lose weight, preferably the latter! In my own home I nearly always serve food to friends 'family style' which means people take as much as they want to eat. That should make it easier for me not to draw attention to myself and the quantity on my plate. Similarly restaurants - if I can influence where we go so I'll make sure I choose places like Japanese restaurants where you can order lots of little dishes and have as much as I want or not.

Drinking with meals - this is going to be hard. When I'm out, I do love, love, love a glass of wine with my meal. I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. Watch this space...but I'll be sober for the next month, that's for sure.

Big love to all...

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So either people will think i'm a coke head or trying to lose weight, preferably the latter!
LMAO -- Scotty, it sounds as if you've given serious thought to post-band social situations; you should do fine (as long as your friends don't do an intervention and send you to Cocaine Anonymous!). Congratulations on receiving your band.

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Well, since I am already the subject of gossip and rumor--fuled in part no doubt by my multi-toned hair and the fact that I've moved to ID without my husband or son (1/3 of the guys in my program have this weird notion that I"m getting divorced, nothing could be further from the truth)--I am pretty open about my upcoming band installation. (is there a non-geeky way to say that???)

I still haven't decided if I'm going to tell my mother or not. She is probably the least supportive person, ever.

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At a Christmas party, I almost ran into a situation where I would have to tell. Like I said in an earlier post, I don't care who knows, but, my husband doesn't want anyone to know he had the surgery. Anyway, I had eaten a shrimp, and the hostess who is a friend that doesn't know, wanted me to try some special wine. I told her I would try some in a minute, she kept on insisting I try it. Well I didn't want to be rude, so I tried some. I was so afraid, because, if I drink anything within 5 minutes of eating....I will throw up whatever I just ate, and it will happen right then where I don't have control. I had to fake a sip, which was hard since she was watching me. Thank goodness, she looked a way for a second and then I pretended to sip

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Things that irriate me well.....I have one friend who wanted to get the lap band but her insurance would not cover it, so she is going to have the gastric bypass. I see her almost daily, and she has never said I look like I lost weight. Well there was one time she did say I do notice alittle bit in your face. (I have lost 101 lbs.) At christmas time she kept offering me homemade candies, pies....I declined all of them :D. She also makes comments like well at least I will be able to lose weight faster than you and she says I'll probably lose all mine before you get done losing yours. I say to her.... keep taking your vitiams, and get to the bathroom soon..... I try not to talk about my surgery or weight loss with her anymore I don't need someone who is not supportive in my life.

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As I'm reading your post I'm getting irritated, after I am banded I will not be able to eat over these feelings, so I am glad I have this message board to vent.

Sue that person is not a friend, I would keep my distant, she will get the hint. I have had several friends that would do that in the past when I lost weight, at one point they say they are supporting you while putting a piece of cake under you nose.

I have told a few friends at work and one in particular I wish I didn't. She keeps repeating to me, how could the insurance cover cosmetic surgery and I keep telling her this is NOT cosmetic surgery. In one breath she tells me she is happy for me but keeps slipping in the word cosmetic. I told her if it was comestic then our insurance company would not cover it. ARGGGGGGGGH!

Renee

scheduled to be banded 3/18

somewhere in CT

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For over ten years I've taken medication that requires me to stay away from all alcohol. Now, with the band, I have yet another reason not to drink. Most of my co-workers think I'm a recovering alcoholic, and I haven't told them otherwise. I decline all drinks and they exchange knowing looks! Now that I'm banded I don't even drink diet ginger ale anymore, and I am allergic to caffeine (have not had a cup of coffee or a cola in over 20 years).

When people ask me about my abstemious ways I have started to tell them that I'm a Mormon. If you want to silence a conversation (in Chicago, anyway), it works every time. Bandsters tired of answering questions about eating and drinking, take note. I should mention that other than my drinking habits I am not a good advertisement for that particular faith!

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Hey Zoe, you could aways say you are trying to start a new temperance movement, and talk about how you think the repeal of the 18th Ammendment to the Constitution was a big mistake. We could all start calling you Zoe Hatchet, and you can have a rock band named after you in 80 years...

This way, the Mormon Elders won't come to your house for dinner all the time and it will save some ackwardness all around, while creating a whole new set of confusion and dissent!

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Great idea, Vines! Bring back the WCTU! Those Mormon Elders wouldn't be too pleased with my bandster cuisine anyway.

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Great idea, Vines! Bring back the WCTU! Those Mormon Elders wouldn't be too pleased with my bandster cuisine anyway.

Unfortuantely, I lost my tambereen... And jsut what the heck is your cuisine anyway if you think the Mormon Elders wouldn't be pleased? You're not still eating cigarett butts are you?

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Sue, I too agree this person is not your friend. I will say, I think this person is jealous of your success. She does notice your weightloss, she is just trying to be vindictive. so she can wallow in her self pity.

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I too wish I hadn't told as many people as I did, some of my relatives still think I took the easy way out and boy are they wrong... My parents were having some financial difficulties and an aunt of mine told my mother that instead of me wasting this money on this surgery I should be helping out my family. I was so mad, they are always getting in my business, they assume that I'm wealthy because I had the money to pay for this surgery and because I like to buy nice things for my children. Well, duh that's why I work hard so that I can have nice things, Some people are just so ignorant. I wonder how I belong to such idiot folks, guess I'm the smart one. Kind of scary.. LOL. I wish I had never told.. Even my friends that I trust with all my secrets took the liberty of telling others I was banded, if you don't want people to know, don't tell them.

I have learned to eat at restaurants, but am still having trouble with the no drinking with food part, I am a thirsty girl and it doesn't seem normal to not drink something to wash your food down. I sometimes try and PB from it, is there a point in time when you can drink w/ your food? Can't someone re-invent the band so that you can drink with your meal, funny huh... I would think that your pouch would get filled sooner with the added liquid and you would eat even less and therefore lose more weight. It seems so unfair that I can't drink any more baharitas or mojitos with my food. So I can either get liquoured up or have some food. Its not fair, I want my cake and eat it too.

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Estela, sorry for laughing at your post, but I totally understand insane family that think they know your business better than you! Ya gotta love it.

No, you can't eat your cake and have your milk, too. liquids push the food through the band so you'll feel hungry sooner. Hello, the whole reason we got the Band was to feel full. Get over it (that's my tough-love for the day.)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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