Severe Depression during pre-op diet- NORMAL?

[jessk0560 3]

Hi Everyone- I just made this account in the hopes for some comfort from people who have been here before. I am on day 9 of my pre-op diet which is only shakes per my doctor. I have been following this strictly but it has obviously been hard. I don't want to get out of bed, I can cry at the drop of a hat and I am just plain hungry and sad. I have a toddler and I am not feeling like a great mom right now because I Just have no energy. I feel like I am constantly thinking about the fact that I could die during this surgery and I am mourning my relationship with food that my family is having but I can not. Being that I have a toddler I have to make food for her, she is not self sufficient so I am around it but can't have any of it. The shakes don't satisfy me. I can't have anything else except Water. I slept like 16 hours yesterday and can barely get the energy to get up. Is this normal? I want this surgery SO bad. I have been waiting 8 months to have it. I have done everything I'm supposed to and I want to have this so I can be a better and more active mom for my kid but I just don't know how to shake this horrible feeling inside. I feel seriously depressed and I've never felt like this before. I don't feel suicidal I feel the opposite, like I am just going to do this and die and leave my kid alone and I also miss being able to eat like my family is. I know this isn't forever with the food stuff and I have already made lifestyle changes and feel prepared, it's like I just want a bite of chicken or cottage cheese, something to give me some energy. Please tell me I am not alone in this depression. I have googled trying to find forums that explain what I am going through without having to put something up myself for fear of judgement but I just haven't found anything that has given me the comfort I am seeking that it does get better. I had a lap band before so I've been through this (it was removed 6 months post op due to faulty device) but I also didn't have a child at the time and I think I'm just full with worry. Please tell me this has happened to other people and you've come out okay? I also already take anxiety medicine so if you're reading this thinking this lady is nuts and needs meds, I already have them :-(

[Tufflaw 463]

I was pretty miserable during my pre-op diet, I remember sitting on my couch holding my head because it felt like I had a Migraine from the hunger and weakness, but it was all worth it in the end. Just think forward a few days to the surgery and beyond, and even though there will be restrictions at first you'll be able to eat real food again (even though you really won't be hungry), and all of the good things and health benefits that will be coming your way very soon.

[SHORTY_ 154]

I'm sure you are not alone. I'm only on day 2 but my diet isnt similar. After seeing more and more of the variety of diets I still can't wrap my head around why some do the strict liquid diets but I'm also not a doctor. I wish I could offer more support there. Your feelings are 100% valid in everything your feeling. Is there a way you are able to maybe separate from your family for a few days so maybe the temptations aren't right in front of you? As a single mom, this is definitely a challenge for me so I totally get not being able to. What are the liquids youre drinking? did they tell you exactly what you should have?

You're so close to surgery day! Hang in there, we're all rooting for you!

[jessk0560 3]

Thank you both for the replies. I have tried to separate myself from my family when they eat but it always seems to end up that I need to make my kiddos food bc her dad is still working, which I can't fault him for that, I know life can't stop because of me. Saturday we went to a catered BBQ birthday party. Having just a bottle of Water there was not fun. But I did it. I know I can do it, but gosh this is hard. We are going on a family vacation leaving Thursday (horrible timing but I was supposed to get this done in June but had insurance issues and we already had the trip scheduled thinking I'd be post-op and ready to travel) so I just feel like I need to get out of this funk before I come home on Sunday and pack for the hospital, or more importantly so I don't ruin my families time. I don't want to end up freaking out on the operating table either 😞

Thank you for the support. I'm just a hot mess I suppose 😜

[SHORTY_ 154]

Are you allowed sugar free Jello, Popsicles or gum? Jello and Popsicles are considered part of my Water intake through mine. Sugar free gum is getting me though the not being able to chew actually food. You may reach out to your medical team and see if any of it is approved. It's not much but it's something to help keep your sanity.

Sent from my SM-G991U using BariatricPal mobile app

[catwoman7 10,851]

re: the fear of dying = banish that thought. You're not going to die. Weight loss surgeries years ago were dangerous, but they just aren't anymore. Techniques have vastly improved, and these have become very common, routine surgeries. They're really no more risky than any other abdominal surgery. The mortality rate on gastric bypass is 0.3 %. It's even lower for sleeve. So you have at least a 99.7% chance of not dying. Those are excellent odds. Better odds than hip replacement surgeries, and they do those all the time. Honestly, you're more like to experience complications and death by remaining obese than you will be having the surgery.

the pre-op diet is tough - and the first few weeks post-op can be tough, too (although in many cases, the pre-op part is worse). But you'll be through this before you know it. I would have this surgery again in a heart beat. No regrets whatsoever.

[Arabesque 6,466]

No you’re not alone. You’ve made big changes to what you eat & are grieving the loss of food you used to comfort & soothe & bring you happiness. Because you can’t have that food you want it even more. There’s likely a degree of fear too of the unknown because you don’t know what to expect pre & post surgery & what it will mean fir you. Plus your body is as stressed as your mind hence you being exhausted, depressed & anxious.

Do you have a therapist or were you recommended a therapist as part of your pre surgical approval? Many find therapy very helpful as they work through all the head & emotional issues that rise up through the pre & post surgical process. If not, ask your surgeon or medical team for a recommendation as soon as possible especially with how you are currently feeling.

All the best.

[Smanky 743]

The pre-op diet is absolutely the worst bit. No one enjoys it, but it's thankfully brief, even though it doesn't feel like it in that first week! Bear in mind that you're likely going through some manner of food withdrawal, which always hits the emotions. Anxiety is also normal before any surgery, even when it's not your first time - but as Catwoman said, you'll be fine! This is a safe surgery and you'll be in good hands. There's a whole team in the theatre with you dedicated to keeping you safe.

Echoing Arabesque's recommendation of getting a bariatric therapist to talk to. Managing this now will help you post surgery. The first couple of months can also be challenging, especially for folks with emotional attachments to food.

[summerseeker 1,842]

You have done the most of your pre op thank goodness, just the last little bit to go. Everyone agrees its the worst thing they have ever done and its hard. We have to give up all the things we love to eat and the enjoyment it gives. Its why we ended up the weight we are. We love food too much. Its like having another person in our life that says only good things like - lets have a bar of chocolate or look at that yummy cake, lets get some. That voice never says no. Now I have a tiny stomach that says NO WAY, you are full girl, well old woman.

Just do your very best, take it hour by hour if necessary. You will get through this. You wont die. You will be the skinny active roll model your baby needs. We wouldn't be human if we were not scared of the unknown. There are 20 years of people on this forum who felt just like you and are now reaping the benefits of having had the surgery.

I hope you can continue to do so well, sleep as much as you can because its less time to think negative thoughts. Good luck

[SleeveToBypass2023 1,811]

For me, the pre-op diet was the absolute worst. Think about it...you have the larger stomach, you have all of your hunger hormone, and you're only giving yourself liquids. It's BRUTAL (I had to do all liquids for 2 weeks, so I get it). You've already done 9 days, so you're more than halfway there!!! You got this

[July2014 19]

On 7/19/2022 at 3:28 PM, jessk0560 said:

Hi Everyone- I just made this account in the hopes for some comfort from people who have been here before. I am on day 9 of my pre-op diet which is only shakes per my doctor. I have been following this strictly but it has obviously been hard. I don't want to get out of bed, I can cry at the drop of a hat and I am just plain hungry and sad. I have a toddler and I am not feeling like a great mom right now because I Just have no energy. I feel like I am constantly thinking about the fact that I could die during this surgery and I am mourning my relationship with food that my family is having but I can not. Being that I have a toddler I have to make food for her, she is not self sufficient so I am around it but can't have any of it. The shakes don't satisfy me. I can't have anything else except Water. I slept like 16 hours yesterday and can barely get the energy to get up. Is this normal? I want this surgery SO bad. I have been waiting 8 months to have it. I have done everything I'm supposed to and I want to have this so I can be a better and more active mom for my kid but I just don't know how to shake this horrible feeling inside. I feel seriously depressed and I've never felt like this before. I don't feel suicidal I feel the opposite, like I am just going to do this and die and leave my kid alone and I also miss being able to eat like my family is. I know this isn't forever with the food stuff and I have already made lifestyle changes and feel prepared, it's like I just want a bite of chicken or cottage cheese, something to give me some energy. Please tell me I am not alone in this depression. I have googled trying to find forums that explain what I am going through without having to put something up myself for fear of judgement but I just haven't found anything that has given me the comfort I am seeking that it does get better. I had a lap band before so I've been through this (it was removed 6 months post op due to faulty device) but I also didn't have a child at the time and I think I'm just full with worry. Please tell me this has happened to other people and you've come out okay? I also already take anxiety medicine so if you're reading this thinking this lady is nuts and needs meds, I already have them 😞

I know exactly how you are feeling! I’m on day two of my pre op diet and I feel physically sick. I just laid in bed and cried. My poor husband thinks I’m insane but is being very supportive. At least we’re not alone in this! Hope we both adjust and start feeling better!

[ShoppGirl 3,353]

Absolutely no judgement. You are going through alot of changes and everyone’s body responds different. I would reach out to your prescribing dr and see if you would benefit from an antidepressant. I have bipolar so I have been on one for years but before the bipolar manifested I was on one for situational depression when my grandfather died when I was in college. I don’t know for certain if it will help in this circumstance or they may say it’s not necessary but it couldn’t hurt to ask.

Edited July 24, 2022 by ShoppGirl