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Crazy brain



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I'm having fun, having a good time, eating some food. Obviously a radical departure from pre-surgery where I ate top quality, beautiful food in serious quantity, copious beer and wine and loved it. But still. I'm fine. But I'm... dreaming of cigarettes. So embarrassing. Haven't smoked in years but I'm having these super realistic dreams about smoking.

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I try and eat really good quality food now. As I eat such small amounts the cost is smallish ... I get fish and seafood from our local market, I love mussels, scallops, crab and clams. I cant wait till June when I holiday in Spain and get some Boquerones . I dont feel as if I am missing out. Myself and my husband gave up the fags in 2010. I have never ever wanted another, in fact the smell revolts me. My husband on the other hand dreams he smokes all the time and loves to stand and chat with smokers so he can breath in the second hand smoke . Cigarettes are almost £11 a pack of 20 in the UK I think its only the price that keeps him off them.

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I still occasionally have dreams in which I'm smoking - and I quit smoking 27 years ago! I think addictions can be like that - whether food, cigarettes, alcohol, etc - they can remain part of your self-identity even years after you quit (or in the case of food, after you tackle your bad eating habits).

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5 hours ago, Pollito said:

I'm having these super realistic dreams about smoking.

Your self-identity is changing now, just as it did when you quit smoking, and your brain is processing that. (I have super realistic dreams about smoking, too, but I only quit fourteen months ago, so I'm still learning to think of myself as a non-smoker.)

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Must be something. Maybe I've eliminated a large chunk of my relationship with food so my subconscious is trying to reach for an equivalent relationship with something else.

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I was 10-ish years smoke free and around 9 months post op (back in 2019), i had a damn cigarette on vacation. Been quitting and un-quitting ever since. Ugh.

Currently in “un-quit” mode.

Dream as much as u want, if need be, but dont even start if u can help it! Its easier to brush off a dream than the nicotine in your system.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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